Prep v State school

[TishGreen]

My DS 7 is moving up to junior school in Sept,local state school has a good reputation and my older DS will leave this school this year with predicted level 5 sats. My DS 7 was invited to take a scholarship exam at a prep school (hes really good at chess), and has been offered a bursary - not sure how much this will be. His biggest problem at his infant school is that he is so ahead of the other students the teacher has to find and supply other independent work for him his predicted sats are level 3 because the teacher isn't allowed to award level 4. Having 3 kids I can't afford private education and I have the dilemma of sending 1 of 3 and the others not getting this opportunity, I'm sure as my older one has done he would get on fine at the local state school. Don't know what to do for the best.

To be honest, I think this decision is one only you can make. None of us know the schools in question or your DC.
Would they be up to a family 'honest and open' discussion about it where they could say what they really feel? Have you taken your DS round both schools to see how he feels about it?

This is the best I can suggest really, not much help, I know!!

This is a tough one, if he gets a good scholarship and bursary there may be little in the way of fees to pay if you are lucky. It would just be extras like uniform, trips etc to pay for. How would your other kids feel about this "special treatment". Would they be resentful in years to come. Would your ds maybe feel embarassed about this? You as a parent obviously want the best for each of your kids and to treat each one as an individual, what is best for one may not be best for another. Only you can make this decision as a family, you will have to defend it in years to come! Visit all of the schools that are under consideration and armed with the full facts re finance and what your ds thinks, you can make the decision. You may have second thoughts and regrets (either way) in the future but if you make that decision based on what is best NOW, you can always justify it. Good luck!

Are you getting a scholarship (fixed amount, set period, usually only a very small proportion of the fees), or a bursary (means tested, can be higher value than scholarship; amount can change, can be withdrawn if your circumstances change)? Or both? You need to be sure, for the sake of your financial planning.

I'm not sure I've anything useful to add to Coconuts' and Carol's posts about other aspects of the choice.

Thanks all for the advice, I think it is a family decision that we will have to sit and go through everything. I have decided to ask the prep school Milbourne lodge if my DS could spend a day there before we decide as it is such a big decision. The other school is St.Nicholas in shepperton and as my older son has done well here I know my younger son would be fine but probably would not get the same attention as he would at Milbourne.

Once you know how much the scholarship/bursary is worth, you need to work out finances.
DS needs to be told that money will be spent by you on him going there, and he will have more opportunities within school than his siblings. To make it as "fair" as possible, they will each be able to choose one or two extra activities to even the balance. Whether its after school clubs, holiday workshops & camps in their favourite activities or a mixture of the two, you need to find ways to give them extra opportunities too.

I know several families who have deals like that with their children, and view it of meeting their childrens needs on a very individual basis. Seems to work quite well.

checkmate - sounds very sensible

Every child is different and therefore every child will suit a different school. I've had all 3 of mine at different schools simply because they each suited something different. Its not all about academics and extra curricular activities.

Don't hold back one for the sake of the others. Private school might not suit them all anyway and you will have sacrificed an opportunity for your ds which he otherwise would never have had.

There again, you don't miss things you've never had. You know your children and what suits each of them. My advice? Don't have a blanket policy.

There's a boy in my DS's year at Prep who first went there on a 25% scholarship for Y4, this was increased to 50% at the next scholarship exams for Y7. His older brother attends a local state schools and always has done.

The only problem those parents seem to have is the logistics of getting 2 DC's to 2 different schools at the same time.

Thanks again for all the advice very useful and indeed all my kids are different with differing needs I think now I have got to find out more about the school, I know they have a new head and it would be interesting to hear from any current pupils. Thanks again to everyone.