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Original poster

One for teachers - parent 'pet hates'

49 replies

spammywammy · 14/03/2011 14:55

Hi - this is a question for primary teachers. Just wondered what your 'pet hates' are re. parents? Pushy ones? Lazy ones? Those who think they can do your job better than you?

No real reason, just that so many people seem to have issues with teachers and I wonder what it's like from the other side of the fence.

OP posts:

Original poster

spammywammy · 14/03/2011 17:21

That's very helpful Teachermum, thank you - very good advice. That's the sort of stuff I hoped would come out of this thread.

OP posts:

CheerfulYank · 14/03/2011 17:25

teachermum, where do you live? I want you to teach DS. :)

SarahScot · 14/03/2011 17:30

I'm a primary teacher, and I have to agree with Teachermumof3 about the asking for extra homework thing. Yes, it is annoying when parents wannt extra worksheets, etc, because what TeacherMum describes above is a far more effective way of supporting your child and widening their experience. In my experience though, it just pisses the pushy parents off because it would take up some of their time rather than mine.

Something else that has frustrated me recently is the two seperate sets of parents who have refused to let their child get input from the learning support teacher because, in their view, their child does not need it. One of these parents has recently had a go at me because their daughter has fallen behind her peers in maths and reading - they don't feel I am doing my job properly and have allowed their daughter to 'become a laughing stock'. I realise it must be hard to accept your child has difficulties with learning, but teachers don't just invent these difficulties to amuse ourselves! We genuinely care about the children in our care, we really do.

SarahScot · 14/03/2011 17:30

Oops, bolding went all wrong!

JustGetOnWithIt · 14/03/2011 17:36

Maybe the teachers could look up the difference between 'disinterested' (impartial) and 'uninterested' (not taking an interest in) before they take a view a parents' failings!

Tisallafaff · 14/03/2011 17:51

Thank you for that JustGetOnWithIt

thebeansmum · 14/03/2011 19:35

TeacherMum - I would find your suggestions totally reasonable. But lots of parents I know wouldn't! I think there are often veiled reasons for asking for more/harder/extra work. Pushy parents, smug parents and insecure parents are examples that spring to mind. I know that because I know people JUST like that. Parent "Oh, little Johnny is far too advanced for the work we are given, so teachers give us extra" Cue panic from the smug/insecure set who think why haven't we got extra. Sheesh!! Most (dare I say it!) parents would think of your suggestions themselves, or appreciate your feedback. OTHERS wouldn't. Teachers do a great, demanding job - I hope everyone reads this thread!!

hmc · 14/03/2011 19:43

I've just written in the communication book "Ds would like to know when he can move up a band in reading" - I bet the teacher thinks 'pushy parent', but I kid you not, ds was quite insistent I ask on his behalf. He wants to be one ORT book ahead of little Tierney - honestly!! (competitive little beggar)

hmc · 14/03/2011 19:44

He is an odd little boy though!

Prunnhilda · 14/03/2011 19:52

Teachermum I would be delighted that it didn't mean any fecking worksheets

Teachermumof3 · 14/03/2011 20:18

Thank you, thebeansmum-that's as I thought ;)

Parent "Oh, little Johnny is far too advanced for the work we are given, so teachers give us extra" Cue panic from the smug/insecure set who think why haven't we got extra.

This is exactly the reason why I wouldn't want to give specific worksheet-style work. If parents want to do this, they can go to WHSmiths and buy books for their children to fill in, but I don't want to have parents comparing notes about me giving extra work!

The suggestions I gave off the top of my head are totally self-differentiating, so the children can do them to their own level and they shouldn't be unenjoyable. As you say though-most people would be able to think of them on their own; nothing there was rocket science!!

You sound the sort of parent whose child I would like to teach :)

Just out on interest-do the parents who do request extra work get some given to them and if so, what is it!?

Tisallafaff · 14/03/2011 20:21

We do a weekly sheet with a summary of the week and an outline of what we are doing next alongside suggested activities to reinforce / introduce skills and knowledge. These activities are all pretty practical and interactive and are there for parents who want something extra. I wouldn't mind parents asking but I would draw their attention to this rather than copy worksheets.

Original poster

spammywammy · 14/03/2011 20:23

Tbh, they do enough 'work' at school, so I personally wouldn't ask the teachers for more. They also set enough homework activities and you can make the homework as light or intensive as you want IYSWIM.

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Tisallafaff · 14/03/2011 20:55

I agree. I think reading / sharing books and having as many hands on experiences as you can provide is 'homework' enough, especially for younger children. And that can be as simple as comparing vehicles whilst out on a walk to museum visits.

RoadArt · 14/03/2011 21:24

Teachermum - spot on.

There have been so many posts about schools not giving out enough reading books, yet in the UK there are so many outlets where books are really really cheap but they dont want to buy them, they want schools to provide them.

I think all parents should spend time helping in schools, it really opens your eyes as to how much work teachers do, and what they have to deal with, and how they cope on a daily basis.

thebeansmum · 14/03/2011 21:24

TBH Teachermum, I have no idea if they are furnished with extra work as I try to stay as far away from those in question as possible!!But I suspect the poor teachers are haranged into it. The area in which we live seems to suffer particularly badly with PP (Playground Politics) and seems super-competitive.There's a lot of one-upmanship (is that a word??) going on and whilst it was hideous when my sons were younger, they are at an age where I don't feel it necessary to hang around the playground anymore,I just 'kiss n go' - but the Mums I refer to are the same ones we suffered when my boys were in Reception, just awful! They knew the days the Y2 SATs were, up since 5am hot-housing their poor kids.

Original poster

spammywammy · 15/03/2011 19:48

Do teachers pick up on one-upmanship/ playground politics though?

RoadArt: you're right. What's wrong with all those KS1/2 books in WHSmiths?

OP posts:

stoatsrevenge · 15/03/2011 20:27

ooooh yes, spammy.....we have covert playground spies

pinkcushion · 15/03/2011 23:15

"I think all parents should spend time helping in schools, it really opens your eyes as to how much work teachers do, and what they have to deal with, and how they cope on a daily basis"

I agree but what about the school that does not want parents anywhere near them - they are deeply suspicious of parents, who were kept away from the school as much as possible and the parents in return are deeply suspicious of the school because they close the doors and turn down the parent's help - as a parent you have to wonder why this distrust is allowed to exist, it doesn't have to be like this the school could work as a partnership with parents.

curlymama · 16/03/2011 19:59

I work in a pre school, so not quite a teacher, but it is heartbreaking when a child proudly gives a parent a painting they have done that morning and the parent says something like 'what another one?' or 'what is that supposed to be then? or they just fold it up without even looking at it. We have one little boy that asks to leave his pictures and creations on his shelf because he has learned that they go in the bin if he takes them home.

jollyma · 16/03/2011 20:18

Teachermumof3 I agree with thebeansmum. Personally I haven't ever asked but have looked to the library for 'fun' books if I needed any extra. It is hard not to though especially if your dc went to a socially focused playgroup while others in the reception class were rehearsed in a pre school. The type of parents who ask would probably find your suggestions below their childs level!

pranma · 16/03/2011 20:55

The ones who know all about their 'rights' while seemingly unaware of their responsibilities-I once had a parent complain that I hadnt taken their year 6 dc home after a pantomime trip.They didnt meet the bus because it was a foul night and they thought one of the teachers could drop him off!!
All the parents were told when the bus would be back at school and that they were responsible for picking up their dc.It was snowing heavily when we got back and one little boy had to wait nearly an hour-we had to phone the parents who were very indignant that we hadnt taken him home,'we were getting worried'!!!That is absolutely true.The boy sat in my car with me and another teacher to whom I was giving a lift.I lived a very long way from school and the child lived in the opposite direction.

wangle99 · 18/03/2011 22:26

Oh no I wrote quite alot requesting DS move up a reading level he really was bored with the level he was on and was reading everything he could at home frantically tries to justify self

hmc · 19/03/2011 14:50

wrangle99 - personally I don't think there is a problem with doing that (and a big fat pointy index finger to any teacher who says otherwise)...

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