can a teacher and a 5 year old child really 'not get on' and how much does this affect learning?

[tigermoth]

Just interested to hear your views on this.

My son (age 6 in August, youngest in year 2) had a pretty miserable and relatively unproductive time in year 1. Ok, he did make progress, but it was slow and well behind the average for the class. He kept saying he didn't like the school and hated getting ready in the morning - no major stops, just sad, silent and resigned. He rarely talked about his classwork or his teacher, except when she stopped him doing things.

I found his teacher hard going - young, straight out of college, very conscientous and eager, but she just didn't seem to have people skills and got my back up from the very first time I met her. I am sure she really worked hard with my son, but IMO the chemistry between them was just not right. I know the school is a good one and I am sure her methods will have been monitored closely, but IMO something was missing.

My son, now in year 2 for half a term, seems like a new boy. He has been waking up early, eager to get to school. He talks about what he is learning, and what his teacher says. He is trying so much harder with his homework and reading, and is beginning to take pride in it. Last week he insisted on reading his book to me again and again. I saw in his reading record book that the teacher put him up a level.

At parents meeting last week I got the impression the teacher genuinely liked my son, yet also had the measure of him.

So far, a change of teacher has made a huge impression on my son. I am sure both teachers are good, but it seems one has got through to him while the other didn't.

I just wondered if anyone else has experienced this, and also, leaving teaching methods aside, what personality traits make a good teacher?

it's too early in the morning for me to have an opinion, yet, Tigermoth. I seem to recall you talking about his difficulties last year, and am really glad to hear that he's doing so much better.

I suppose your experience proves the points you are wondering about, really.

I imagine that no one teaching style/set of traits is ideal for all students. I would imagine that the best teacher would be one who knew how to adapt their methods for the individual child/class at hand, though (bit like parenting, really).

I know of a boy in my dd1's class (Year3) who hated the teacher last year and vice versa and as such said teacher put him back in every subject. This year her loves the teacher and he has progressed to the best in class in only a couple of weeks. so es it must make a difference

Yes and a lot in answer to the question.

I'm really pleased that your ds2 has had a positive start to this year: I hope it's a fantastic one for him.

In KS2 and particularly KS1 the relationship with the teacher is key, IMO. The best way of praising and rewarding children of this age is simply the approval or disapproval of an adored teacher!

Hmm... I have to go! We're going away for a few days this morning. I packed everything for me and the boys on Thurs eve, though I was shattered from work. Dh is now flapping around even though he only has a few bits to organise

what is is with these hubands! mine is the same and he flaps so loudly too. Hope you have a lovely time away, roisin.

I noticed on my son's education action plan his year 2 teacher has written 'praise' again and again.

Oh, that's lovely Tigermoth. So glad he's got a good teacher this year.

Tigermoth, glad your son is happier.

I have the same problem this year with ds1 who's 7. He has always liked school, but this year hates going, saying his teacher hates him and is really nasty to him. It breaks my heart, he can come across as very confident but is anxious underneath. I'm going in to speak to his teacher this Monday, I want to see what's going on for myself.

Did you get anywhere with your son's old teacher? I can't stand a whole year of this for ds............

hi ssd, sorry I didn't see this earlier. I think my son's year 1 teacher made more of an effort to be 'on my side' as it were, after I went on a school trip in the summer term, so you could try that. She was very smiley with me afterwards so for my point of view it helped a little.

My son was never exactly unhappy with her, but seemed bored, and not engaged or inspired. I just don't think the chemistry between them was right. The change in ds2's attitude about school is really marked now he is with a different teacher.

AFAIK the teacher stuck to her (wrong IMO)decisions - ie sitting ds in a place he did not want to sit, despite ds and I asking if he could be moved. Despite her new smiley-ness, her end of term report reiterated the points she had made mid year that I had disagreed with.

In your position, I'd try and see the class and teacher in action - can you go on some trips or help in the classroom?

Yes my DS1 hates school and I do feel it is a lot to do with the relationship with his teacher. I just feel that she doesn't really have much feeling for him and does seem to put him down a lot e.g. 'you should really know that by now' (when struggling with his maths. She told me that he was a nervous child (he is scared of her I'm sure, well in fact I feel intimidated so he must do too). I think she likes the strong, confident boys who are bright and he does not fit. I really have bad feelings towards her which is not helping but everyone else says what a good teacher she is so sure it must be me. XX

Snap tigermoth! My son is not perfect but he is well-mannered, v intelligent, loving, sensitive to others, kind and caring (these are all things I have 'proof' of, not just my blinkered opinion). Yet for a whole year his yr 1 teacher had not one positive thing to say about him. Ever. My ds went from flourishing in reception to not wanting to go to school. I was worried about his school work and she refused to even discuss it with me. (He was later dx dyslexic).
I found it hard to interact with his (young, mother of a baby daughter) teacher. So all I can assume is that they had a personality clash. my son used to say that she always snapped at him and used to sometimes 'make fun' of him in front of the girls. She was definitely biased against boys though.
This year, things are much better.
Now, teachers are only human, and are of course allowed to like/dislike particular children. But I would say that it is grossly unprofessional for teachers to allow those particular biases to show.

constantly. one year my youngest son got a fantastic report and made huge progress. thats one year out of 8 years at school.

my daughter didnt get on with drama teacher - i even posted about it - i was so very upset i wanted to knock her out. but we had a meeting in school resolved it - i even told dd the big fat whopping lie that her teacher said she was brilliant and she loved her being in her class. teacher never said anything of the sort - but i wanted my dd to lose the chip and now all goes well.