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Original poster

need advise desperatly.

31 replies

misdee · 21/10/2005 18:32

dd1 has been offered place after half term of a great school which is a lot closer to home, and i want her to go. peter says it will be another 'heartache' fordd1 to switch schools when she is already asettled at the old one. in a way i agree with him, but this is the school i originally wanted her to go to when we moved her last year. she hasnt been at her current school a year yet, and i think she should be able to switch easily. am i being selfish in thinking of moving her for an easy life? the new school is next to dd2 nursery which she starts at next year, current school is in the opposite direction.

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nutcackle · 21/10/2005 18:36

So if she doesn't move, when Dd2 starts school you will be dropping them off at different schools at the sameish time ???

Just checking I am understanding right.

lars · 21/10/2005 18:37

Hi misdee, I think it's a difficult one but it would make life easier for your family as you can't be in two places at once.
Also dd2 no doubt will make friends that may go tothe school next door don't you think?

My friend just lost her chance like this and now wishes she went for it. You obviously thought this was the better school to start with. I thik I would take that chance it all makes sense. larsxx

homemama · 21/10/2005 18:38

Will your DD2 go to the 'new' school. If so, it makes sense for them to be together. How old is she?

Original poster
misdee · 21/10/2005 18:40

dd1 is 5, dd2 is 3, dd2 starts at the nursery when she is 4, they will be goping to the same3 school whatever happens, but for that year with 2 kids in nursery/school in different palces is goig to be very busy. this way i wont need the car either as its about a 5-10min walk instead of 20-30mins.

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nutcackle · 21/10/2005 18:44

I think yes you should move her as anything that makes life easier has to be good.

Original poster
misdee · 21/10/2005 18:48

i am going to take dd1 there after the holidays to have a proper look round and meet her possible teacher, but peter says dont do it, if i move her then i feel i am going against his wishes. but its me who is holding the family togetherm i feel nasty saying it, but i am exhautsed all the time with all the running about i have to do, and i do want things easier.

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homemama · 21/10/2005 18:49

At 5 I think she'll be absolutely fine. This time next year, she'll barely remember the old school.

Blandmum · 21/10/2005 18:52

TBH, my love, you have enough on your plate just at the moment and if you can take a bit of the strain off yuorself that has to be a good thing to do.

Realise that you dd may be a bit upset at first but I'm sure she will settle quickly.

In the end you have to take the practicalities into account and you will not be helping if you make yourself ill. You need to take some of the strain off, and this sounds like a sensible way to do just that

homemama · 21/10/2005 18:52

Also, think of all the practical things like parents' evening on same night. One Christmas play to attend, one set of school photos to pay for, being able to hand down uniform from sister to sister etc....

JonesTheSteam · 21/10/2005 19:00

Agree with everyone else - I'd move her - otherwise you'll have to split yourself in half at dropping off/picking up times.

coppertop · 21/10/2005 19:11

In your situation I would definitely move her. She probably won't be the only child who is new to the school either. I know that Ds1's class has had 2 new children who have started since the beginning of this term already and both of them have had children squabbling over who gets to sit next to them and help them.

I know that Peter means well but, as you say, you're the one who is having to take the extra time to take dd1 to school, fetch her etc.

Original poster
misdee · 21/10/2005 20:31

i will talk to peter more about it over the half term then contact the new school. what is very tempting is the very short walking distance, i;d be able to ditch the double buggy, dd2 cant walk to dd1 current school, well she can walk there but not back. to just take the pram and walk both girls would be fab.

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Original poster
misdee · 22/10/2005 23:39

dd1 wants to go, dh says no, argh?!!!

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Christie · 23/10/2005 00:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bobbybob · 23/10/2005 01:35

Right this is going to sound really mean to Peter and I don't mean it to, but I can't think of another way of saying it.

Okay here I go. you are the one doing the walking, you are the one dropping off. I know Peter would love to be in a position to do this - but he isn't. IMHO it's not his call - it's yours.

I make all the decisions about Bob's medical treatment - because at the end of the day it's my responsibility to live with the consequences. I would expect to get the casting vote on nursery for the same reason.

lars · 23/10/2005 09:44

Misdee, It must be really difficult for you as Peter doesn't liek the thought of changing schools.

The fact your dd1 wants to go surely tell's Peter something that she will be quiet happy to go.

Can you not get him to look round the school with you?

I still think you should go for it after all if dd1 is unhappy at the new school perhaps you could move her back if need be at a last resort. larsxx

Beetroot · 23/10/2005 09:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

swedishmum · 23/10/2005 10:10

It sounds like it'll make a really positive difference to your day to day life and won't be a problem at all for your daughter. I'm sure Peter will come round - he may be feeling a bit guilty at the disruption his illness has caused for the children and not want to cause her any more (not that he should, of course!). You need to keep strong for everyone and if this helps a little bit, it's worth it. My daughter changed schools after the first term and settled straight in.

Original poster
misdee · 23/10/2005 10:11

lars, peter cannot come with me as he is a long term patient at harefield hospital. spoke to him again this morning and he is now saying if dd1 wants to go then go for it

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bobbybob · 23/10/2005 19:23

Great, that's that sorted then.

spooklymieow · 23/10/2005 22:31

Misdee, as you know my dd1 has been at 3 schools so far and she is only 5. She was at preschool, then the nursery that your dd2 will be at next year (most kids from that nursery go to the school next door) But I moved her to DS' school. She settled easily and loves her school now. DO IT!!

3PRINCESSES · 23/10/2005 22:48

Like christie, haven't posted before but have been following your threads with huge sympathy..

Could it be that Peter, from his enforced place on the sidelines, is worrying disproportionately about the kids? You know (as far as any of us can know these things) that dd will be OK because you'll be the one who's there for her... but he must feel very powerless and frustrated atm (on top of feeling very afraid for all sorts of other reasons) and it's understandable that he wants to keep the children's routines the same. If you think its for the best, I'm sure you can reassure him.

Once again, it's you that's holding everyone together. Sending you love and wishing you continued strength xx

Polgara2 · 23/10/2005 22:51

Just to add I would move her too! I find it hard enough fitting things in (esp afterschool activities etc) with both dd's at same school never mind different ones - sounds impossible. Go for it, especially as your dd is happy to.

ladymuck · 23/10/2005 22:56

Before you swap, check the application process for the new school. We found in one instance that the sibling priority rules didn't apply if the first child hadn't got a place in the normal slection process (eg if they go in on appeal). (Assuming dd1 is at your 2nd choice school).

Original poster
misdee · 23/10/2005 22:58

sibling isnt in palce here AFAIK. we are in the catchment area for the new school but old school we arent. new school is over subscribed. but overall the school is smaller.

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