Advice needed about a barely 4 year old starting reception

[jenkel]

I have just been to see our local village school ready for dd to start next September. It really is lovely, 15 children max per class, nicely decorated, great facilities and lovely staff. All in all a positive experience apart from one thing. DD will be 4 in Aug, will start in September and go part time until Christmas or so I thought, she will actually go full time after 4 weeks. I'm quite worried about this, the head teacher was really nice and said she monitors each child. What experience do you others have of very young 4 year old starting full time so early.

The only other choice is to send her to another school, but that would mean a car journery, this school is 2 mins down the road and she went to a mother and toddler group in the school hall and the preschool is in the school grounds too so she is very familar with the facilties.

I'm especially worried about how she will cope eating lunch etc, the head said the majority of the children have the school meals, so I would like her to do what the majority have but not sure how she would get on cutting up food etc.

Any advice please

ds is a late June baby and went full-time into a small reception class aged just over 4. I am sure they will be mindful of some children still not being too confident with knives especially, and the menu will take account of that.
We did also practice practice practice with ds, jenkel.
He was fine. Settled very easily.

dd has just done this- August b'd went into a class of 16, full time and seems quite happy. some fo the boys seem a lot bigger (almost a full year older) and dd gets patronised by older girls because she is small for her age, but other than that she has developed good stamina and, although we can take them out at 1pm, I haven't felt the need to. She is getting more tired as half term apporoaches so needs the break.

I'm sure your dd will be fine, just take it as it comes, and it is not as if you are far away should she need you. They do change a lot from just 3 to 4 and she will probaably surprise you.

good luck,

My older two have a June and a July birthday. They both started our school nursery (full school day) in the September following their 3rd birthday, and Reception a year later. Both were absolutely fine, though they did get tired and need very early bedtimes for a while. Also lunchtime sleeps on Saturday to catch up! Don't worry about food, they manage somehow and some children won't know how to use knife and fork anyway, even if they're much older.

I'm sorry to say that I found NOTHING positive about my child starting when she was just 4 in August. Her confidence went down and has never come back properly. If I had my time over, I would never have let her start. My husband and I wish we could have our time back again and goodness knows we would have insisted on a different strategy. An August birthday just 4 is too too young for school in my opinion. I really hope you have a much different experience than we did. By the way this is a small school, lovely school, but wouldn't do it again. Sorry, but I'm sure you appreciate an honest opinion. She has siblings and isn't pampered to, so this wasn't the problem. Too young was the problem!!!

I don't have experience of an early starter but my two girls have been/are at a small village school. Because it's small all the children play together and help each other out. The little ones love having the older ones around to do things, the older ones enjoy their caring role and of course, with such small classes the teachers can devote plenty of time to each child. The children here all have individual plans, according to needs, not what the book says. Our school is like a large family, not like school at all!

Also don't have experience of small village school, but DS1 started at just 4 in a large international school (20 children per class, but 8 classes per year group), full days from week 2. He was very tired and certainly needed to be in bed by 7.00, but other than that he was fine. Socially he loved it and academically it's all quite relaxed until Y1. The one piece of advice I'd give, having 2 August boys, is to concentrate on having their practical skills in place - shoes, buttons, socks, handwashing etc. That can make a big difference to confidence. DS2 is 31st August but they only do half days till January.

My August born 4yr old dd has just started school. She went half days for a month then full days. She is very tired by teatime and can be a bit fragile, but apart from that she's coping very well.

The school you describe sounds lovely, tbh. Your dd will be in a small enough group for people to keep an eye on her and I'm sure that she'll be able to stay on half days for a while if she needs to. There is this option at our school - the younger ones can stay on half days until they are ready, but AFAIK no-one has needed to.

And you have plenty of time to practice getting her to cut up food and dress herself etc. I was amazed at how my two came on in the summer before school.

My little girl was 4 on the 31st August!!

and started full time School the next day!

If she had of been born 5 hours later she would not have gone to School untill Sep 06

When we started....She was the first child to walk in on her own, all the others had their Mums taking them in and helping with coats ect

I have just been to a parents evening and the teacher said you wouldn't know she was 3 the day before she started!

She is doing really well and managing everything fine!!

The oldest boy in the class, 2 weeks off being a whole year older than DD has not settled in half as well as her.

Just think it depends on the child

And she was not impressed that she had to be off School for a whole week this week!!!!!! She wanted to go to School!!! lol

Just a thought...she doesn't have to start when she is 4, or at any other time, unless you choose to send her. Would there be issues with getting her a place at the school you prefer, if you were to wait until she were older? Might be worth enquiring.

jenkel pls don't worry. My dd was 4 at the end of June and started full time after 2 weeks. She seems so little but in fact was well ready and is totally fine.
Last year all the summer babies (ie June - Aug) at our school were in one class and that was the fastest FS class to settle.
You are right of course to be concerned about pracicalities like eating (and dressing after PE, dealing with the loo alone) and of course you can practise these over the next 10 months. The school sounds lovely and I'm sure they will help yr dd settle in well.

It is not the chronological age, but really more about her readiness for school. You will see such a huge difference in her in this year ahead. Not to say that it isn't worthwhile being fully informed of the options open to you. But it sounds as if you have a lovely school, which isn't too big for a just 4 year old. And they may even be willing to continue with half days for a while if you felt the need (at least that is how I would read the monitoring quote). I'd apply for this one, and then go in and talk to them in the June/July before entry.

my ds was 4 on 15th august. he was quite a young 4 and we had a couple of months where his behaviour wasnt great. school were brilliant and really worked with him, they let him play with the nursery class and were willing to let him go part time if he didnt settle. after the first couple of months something just clicked and ever since then i have had teachers stopping me in the corridor to tell me what a pleasure he is to teach! he doesnt seem to have been affected by starting early at all, in fact i think it has had a very positive effect on him. if he hadnt started early he would have gotten more set in hs silly ways and it would have been more difficult for him to adjust. there is also the problem that kids starting a year late may have to go straight to year 1 and miss reception (sorry if anyone has said this). ds1 did this because he was one of the brightest in his nursery, but i would never recommend this to anyone. he missed out on important settling in and adjusting time and he was very unhappy (although his teacher was rubbish, he is now at a school where the teachers actually seem to care and is doing wonderfully). im sure your dd will be fine, try not to worry about lunch. its amazing what kids will do at school that they wont do at home

My DS was 4 on Aug 5th and started Recp on Aug 22 but he had done a full year of nursery in the same school which started morniings only but as he never wanted to come home he ended up full time by Oct half term LAST year!

Familiaritly helps.

I do have to remind myself though that DS is almost the youngest in his year - not helped by the fact the the next youngest was only 4 on 11 Sept but is REALLY bright! I listen to them read and he blows me away.

Agree that it depends on the child.

My dd was 4 on 6th August, she was absolutely fine, she is a very confident child.

She was tired though and on her first day, slept in the wendy house for a couple of hours! The teachers were fab though and told me they just kept checking on her, but let her sleep as she was so young. Bless, still warms my heart to remember that (she's in Year 2 now).

don't worry.

My DD2 was born at the end of August and started school when she was 4y and 3 weeks. She went right in to full days.

She got tired, but she coped really well. She loves her friends and school. Whenever I have a parent's evening we always talk about the fact that she is a year younger and how well she is doing considering that fact.

I'm sure it will be fine. I'd send her to the local school myself!

I hated sending the thought of sending my Dd 3 weekss after her 3 b'day so i insisted on a Jan start for nursery (seperate nursery school for the main school) and part-time for the whole term the staff where brilliant about this. In the september following went into her school's nursery they do not parttime but she did not go to reception until jan, This was the best arrangement I could get because i feel that late b'day child are still to young to be in formal settings like school they need time for freedom to be small children and not being stressed by a formal setting. So chose what you want to do legally you can wait until the term after her 5 b'day to send her to school, if you want part time then the school should accomodate you it is your choice they are usually good about it they accept that you know your child. By the by Dd is in yr 2 and has not suffered in any way for the way we did it in fact has thrived more than so of the others

Dd started school last year full time in Reception two weeks after her 4th birthday. There was 20 in her class, and we had picked the school because it was right for us and her. We were concerned about whether she would cope, because as well as full days she would be attending the before and after school club so in essence there from 8am to 5pm as we both work full time. The other option would have been potentially losing the place at the school and keeping her at nursery longer. So we asked her nursery and they said she was ready for school. Have you spoken to the staff at the preschool?

During the first term about once a week she would fall asleep at the after school club, if they noticed she would go to pre-reception and sleep on a mattress there otherwise they would try and put her on a sofa or some cushions. She did not fall asleep in class, as far as we know, because she was too busy although she was known to doze in story time.

All children at her school have school lunch, and we were told that there are staff available to assist if necessary with cutting up meat, carrying trays although they encourage the children to do as much themselves. They wanted all children to be able to change themselves for pe (although the staff put on the swimming hats) and dd has come out before with shoes on wrong feet, go to toilet and wash their hands on their own and recognise their name. Anything more was a bonus.

Agree with assumpta entirely - I tried to hold my ds back a year when nearer the time I realised he just wasn't ready (summer birthday) the school is always oversubscribed and said that they would not have a place for him if he started a year later as the Reception intake would take precidence over him. Check with your LEA - they told me that if the head was happy with it then you could hold them back a full year (think there is actually something in place that if they are August birthday you can choose which year anyway?)

My ds was still crying at the gate in year one and in year three still tells me he hates school and is quite small and not as confident as many of his peers, it still breaks my heart really - the extra year at home would have made all the difference - as others have said though it really depends on the child - I had the decision made for me really and really regret him having to start when he did, but some will probably cope fine. I kept him home every Wednesday (with the full backing of the school) until the last 6 weeks of term, which helped somewhat

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my DS1 was 4 in July, he started school in September (small village school). He loves it. He only goes in the morning - I think he would be too tired to cope with longer. I think it is important to make the transition to school slowly - so we are staying at half days for the time being.

My nephew is also a late August baby and went full time from quite early on in the term - he did struggle with being overtired - now at 8 he is fine.

It does depend on the child - some cope, others will struggle. your know your DD best.

I would go with the school you like, but with the proviso that she stays part-time until both you and the teachers feel she is ready for more. I am pretty sure most schools - particularly small ones - would be happy with that. Also there is no requirement to go full time until the term after they are 5 I think.

My DS is also August and has just started reception. I have 'worried' over this situation from his birth!! The school he goes to have this weird system where they start the older ones first, so by the time the younger ones get there at the end of September they are going into a full class, whereas the older ones start in a small group and it just get bigger??? Anyway, he seems to have settled in fine. He's very good with letters and words and the teacher assessed him and was gobsmacked when he scored 100% in his reading ability and is going straight onto year 1 books! For me thats a relief, I always imagined he'd be 'behind' all the September ones but it looks like he will keep up fine!

You don't have to send them full time or even send them at all until the term they turn 5. So if you think your DD is struggling with full days, just stick to the mornings until she's ready for full days, that way she'll get to know the routines and other children but won't be over-doing it.

Apparently you can hold them back a full school year and start one year later into Reception - have to have grounds for it though - my ds was very prem and ended up in school year above his due date one - check with LEA who should be able to help

Jenkel - I honestly think it depends on the individual child - and as the owner of a fully taxed and MOT'd 'just 4 year-old', I can tell you that they grow up hugely in the year that you have to come before your dd starts school. A year ago, I was horrified at the idea of ds startying school withi the year, now, I can see that his whole level of how he sees himself has changed, and i need to suport that for him.

One thing - do they not do a January intake?

But 15 is a v small class, and 4 weeks part time is a good lead in. Does she attend any nursery or playgroup?

yes fimac you are right about that but you have to persuade the school and many are not keen.
A pal of mine with an AUgust boy with a dev delay held him back and he started in reception at 5 yrs and 1 wk. She had quite a battle over it tho.