DS wants to give up French as dislikes teacher...

[hilaryt]

I'm not sure what to do. At his old school it was one of his favourite subjects. He's now at a private school and doesn't feel he's progressing. He hasn't engaged with it at all and says when he sticks his hand up to ask a question he's sharply told to put it down again. I'm trying to determine how often this happens and if it's at an awkward time in the lesson. It doesn't appear to be. He says in other lessons you can put your hand up and wait and the teacher will get to you. He says others in his class aren't enjoying this particular teacher's classes either. So, what do I do? He wants to learn the language but doesn't feel he can with this teacher. I don't know how to broach it with the school without ruffling feathers. From what he tells me she struggles to control the class. There is no praise either or positive reinforcement. He's in year 8.

Can he move to another class with a different teacher?

There is another class but it's a higher stream. The teacher of this class teaches my DS Spanish, which my DS is enjoying and progressing in. I'd love it if he could be in this class. I just don't feel I can say that outright to the school - or can I? I don't want to upset anyone but I don't want my DS to give up French when he enjoys it and as it will be handy for the type of work he wants to do.

I think you could fo you say it nicely . Isuppose it depends on the school and how they deal with these things, i've found some to be open but also had experience of one where they prefer you not to get involved.

Can your DS actually drop french at this stage?

Tell him thatl ife is like that.
Sometimes you have to do things with people you don't get on great with.
Am staggered that you entertain notion of a teenager dictating terms of his learning.

moondog, from what he tells me the teacher sounds crap. Her job is to engage the kids. She hasn't. Nothing to do with a teenager dictating terms of his learning. Nothing to do with her being strict either. Many of them are. She's unpleasant and failing to get the best out of the kids. If you can't offer anything constructive please don't bother commenting.

Moondog may have been blunt but it does appear to me to be a valid POV. Not all pupils get on equally well with all teachers and you have only heard your son's perception and hearsay about the feelings of other classmates. Would it not be possible to go in and see her to discuss your concerns?

I would have a long serious talk with your teen about the longterm consequences of giving up a very valuable subject, which can give lifelong enjoyment and access to another culture, which is well regarded by universities and which he has proved he can do, for the sake of a teacher whose name he will probably have forgotten in a few years time. Tell him you will do anything you can to support him at home, ask the school if he can move into the set below, even offer him a tutor if you can afford it.

At my dd's school, and many other state schools, you simply wouldn't be allowed to give up French, as it's a compulsory GCSE subject. Dd had an awful teacher for the first two years- and I don't just mean bad at teaching: her French was appalling too (I heard her myself so am not relying on hearsay). It was hard work to keep dd engaged, but I am glad to say we have managed it- and the teacher has now moved to a different set.

I would recommend you talk to the school.

Sorry too old to know what yr 8 is but when I was in the year I had to choose my GCSE options (third year back those days), I had an awful French teacher who I did not get on well with. I wasn't going to take it for GCSE despite it having been a favourite subject in previous years. My mum was concerned so she spoke to the head of modern languages (who happened to have taught me the previous year) and she said that it would be a shame if I were to drop French. She assured us I would not have this particular teacher at GCSE level so I took French GCSE and went on to get a French degree, marry a Frenchman and move to France.

Needless to say I'm so glad my mum spoke to the staff. A head of department will know their staff's weaknesses and strengths so you may be able to state the problem without going into too much detail.

Tbh, if we allowed our children to drop every subject every time there was a personality clash,none of them would get an education at all, would they?

At any school - but perhaps even more so since you're paying for this - you have the right to talk to the school and expect your concerns to be taken seriously. It may well be that the teacher is not even aware of the way your child perceives her teaching style. For goodness sake, it is a serious matter if it is affecting your son to this extent. This is entirely a different matter from sometimes just having to lump it (which I agree is a useful life lesson!).

For months now I've told him things like he's not going to get on with everyone in life, the challenge is to do well regardless of his feelings about the teacher etc. so i know the useful lesson in life to just get on with things and have told him this. He's gone from loving a subject to being completely turned off. To not even be allowed to ask the teacher a question if you're not clear about something is a problem beyond just telling him to suck it up. He knows how important the subject is. He needs it particularly for the general career direction he seems to be heading. I think he's upset about it because he really does want to do well in it and knows he probably would be if he didn't have this particular teacher. I will speak to the school and try and find out what we need to do to get him up to the next set and also who will be teaching it in later years. Maybe it will be enough if I just say to them he's not engaged and wants to give it up. It might prompt them to look into what is going on as he has top marks for effort and behaviour in all subjects - including hers. Thanks to those who gave constructive advice.

Ah, I thought he was in top set and the question was whether the school would be willing to move him down (which they often are not). This makes it easier: tell him he can get away from this teacher but it is in his own hands. At this age, he can do a lot about his own learning by accessing internet material and using GCSE revision guides.

I agree with Cory.

And would also add that the definition of "constructive advice" is not necessarily "what you want to hear".

Good luck.