Do you appreciate your education?

[wangle99]

DD (8) was at awful state school (bullying etc) so DH and I are making sacrifices, driving huge school run etc and DD now goes to lovely independent school. There's homework every night, music practise etc and DD always moans (perhaps it's the age).

Said to DH is it all worth it.

If you went to an independent school, had good opportunities etc do you appreciate it? Wish you'd gone to local state? Anything else?

Really wondering if we've made the right decision. Academically she's achieving more than she ever could at her previous school.

Thanks

I appreciate it enormously, and I will certainly make the sacrifice to do the same for my DD. Apart from giving me the academic basis which has proved to be a good springboard to good uni and good job, it gave me a lot of confidence. There are some things the school wasn't great at, but I think the best thing that can be said about my own school and other independent schools is that they tend to make it cool to be smart, rather than vice versa.

Of course she doesn't appreciate it now - she's only 8! I'm sure she'll appreciate it when she is older, unless she really is desperately unhappy there.

I appreciate all that my parents did for me in terms of schooling - it was all part of the road that lead me to where I am now, but also I was happy at school and I loved it.

I think that even if you think you have got your child into the best school, if it doesn't suit them for whatever reason, or they are really unhappy there, then they won't appreciate it.

Is she unhappy or just moaning about work (all kids do that!)?

She's not unhappy at all, she loves the school and is doing really well.

It's when I say 'right homework now' or 'music practise now' you get the 'but I don't want to'. She'd rather be playing of course!

I don't appreciate my musical education. I played two instruments to a reasonably high standard, but being bullied (in my case) to practice meant that I jacked both of them in the minute I left home.

I loved my school at the time, and was hugely grateful to be there rather than at the local comp, and well aware of the advantages (which were not academic btw). BUT I was 11 not 8, and I was on a practically full scholarship, so there was no sense of a 'sacrifice' which needed to be justified.

I do agree with beetlejuice about the "cool to be smart" thing. There is actually this ethos at my boys' state primary school, but it is certainly not the case at the secondary school where I work, and many other state schools I suspect.

Every step of the way, especially after living in places where people cannot get an education w/o paying for it and they're also desperately poor.

I went to an independent school for primary and then a highly-ranked state school for secondary, my choice.

I went to a rubbish independent school. Nice uniform, carol concerts, small classes, speech day, set timed homework, etc. All great for the parents.

I left a state school to go there after a disastrous parents evening when several teachers told my mother that 'if she doesn't want to work we can't make her'. My mother was appalled at their reaction so off I went.

I left my friends (who have become my life-long friends) to join rich drug-taking promiscuous friends, got (whisper it - 4!) rubbish O'levels and returned to my state school (and my friends with their 9 O'levels) to get rubbish A'levels but had a great time!

I finally went to university when I was ready to settle down and work (in my mid 20s) and I now have 2 degrees.

Was it worth it? No, but my mother thought she was doing the right thing.

It's always difficult to know. Fortunately for me I wasn't bullied and had the time to recover my education. But making sacrifices and travelling long distances is a lot to put on a young child.

Personally, I would always choose state but I live in an area where the state schools are very good. I've always vowed that if the children weren't getting on well (academically or happiness wise) we would look for alternatives - home ed/move areas/look at private, etc.