Depressed Teenager abandoned by independent school

[Stargazer2011]

My 16 year-old daughter started year 11 last September. In mid-September she started suffering from repeated fainting fits, making it impossible to get her to school in the mornings anyway - and she has been missing a lot of school ever since. She has been diagnosed with clinical depression and post-traumatic stress disorder - which is the result of her having been attacked in 2009. She still gets flashbacks. She is under treatment and I am doing all I can to encourage her to go into school when she feels she can...taking her there, picking her up, etc. So, the history is, she was attacked, went downhill emotionally, was treated, seemed to start getting better, then suffered a major relapse making her even worse than before - all this has happened in the last two years. The school's reaction has been to ask whether I would agree to her being entered as an external candidate - as they are clearly more worried about how they are going to appear in the league tables than about supporting a pupil who started there when she was 11 and never had problems before. I refused to agree to it as I felt it was tantamount to the school simply washing their hands of her and not caring whether she shows up for her GCSEs or not if she is not connected with the school. I am just wondering if anyone knows if, by law, they can INSIST that she be entered as an external candidate? If she had been diagnosed with a physical condition, surely they wouldn't have dared to do the same? I would be most grateful for some feedback on this and to hear from mothers of other youngsters who have suffered from depression during their education, as I feel completely unsupported by the school. It's as if the money is good enough for them, but my daughter isn't. It is heartbreaking, because without support from her teachers, that she clearly needs, she risks completely mucking up her GCSEs and ending up with no school place at any school, the way things are right now and I am worrying myself into a terrible state about it.

Sorry, have no idea about the GCSE issue but I am wondering if she has been offered counselling? either through school (they should have access to counselling depending on where you are) or via the GP? It sounds like it may help support her through her difficult time.

What she's experiencing sounds like a very normal reaction to trauma and she will need lots of support. School sound like all they care about are the League Tables. I would definitely question their motives.

Good luck. She has been through a v. tough time but she sounds like she has a lovely Mum looking after her xx

I have no idea about the legal aspect of this, but it is deplorable. My son was at a highly academic independent school and had alot of problems with anxiety/depression in year 13 and was diagnosed with severe OCD. By January of year 13 he was hardly attending at all, I could not get him out of bed. when he felt just about ok he would go in but was always late etc. It was noticed and I got phone calls from his housemaster. I called a meeting (with my son attending as well) and brought letters from psychiatrist/psychologist with me.

They were very supportive and and he came in when he could. He just needed to inform someone when he went in for security reasons.

when he missed large chunks of work teachers gave up their time and went through it with him. Some course work dead lines were waived and practicals were rearranged.

There was never any mention of him not being entered in his A2s.

I have no advice on the legal aspect, but this is an illness like any other and the school can't treat you like this. Get letters from your doctor/psychiatrist and go in with guns blazing.

Name the school so we can avoid it.

Get a letter from the GP than can be sent to the exam boards too, as this may have a bearing on grades.

Agree with the others: challenge it. I have known a (junior) school in the state sector who did everything to get rid of a physically disabled pupil (so no, it's not that nobody would dare to treat people with physical conditions badly- they do )- what surprises me in retrospect is how much shit we put up with- and how quickly they crumpled the moment we finally turned.

Your dd deserves so much better than this.

My dd is suffering similar problems (trauma from junior school ) and her secondary are 100% supportive. Your dd should have that to!

Was the attack outside or within school? Sorry to sound nosy but this could make a difference to your case IMO.
Sorry to hear about the depression. Hopefully with treatment and time it will get better.
As to school, they sound like a group of people who want all the glory and none of the problems.
Well, I would not play ball with them over the external candidate idea. Why should you? Would they enter her as an external candidate if she had a broken ankle? I don't think so.
You are doing all you can to get her into school. They must do their share. Try to make them give her a quiet room to sit exams in if that would help. Most Exam Boards allow for this BTW.

As mentioned above get doctors letters for exam purposes. My son got extra time as concentration is affected badly by these conditions. special consideration was applied for, but I'm not sure if it was awarded. always worth a try. They really cannot be allowed to behave like this.

If they continue you should 'leak' this to a local paper.

I would not leak it in any identifiable form, unless you want your DD's vulnerable state and medical information permanently in the public domain.

An independent school can do what it likes about exam entry. The practice of external entries has been around for a while, and has happened in state schools too.

Do you have any reasonable alternative schools she could go to? This might mean repeating a year, but perhaps the extra time would be in her interests.

All educational providers are required to make reasonable adjustments to accommodate a child suffering a disability, in accordance with the provisions of the Disability Discrimination Act. Your dd's school will need to make reasonable adjustments to accommodate her within the normal curriculum and would be breaking the law if they failed to do so.

Bevelino: any chance you could signpost to the relevant part of the act? Thanks!

From what the OP says, it might not yet be clear that this illness has become disability, and it might help her make a case with the school if she can use the act. It might also help: it might also help in ensuring she has relevant and helpfully worded doctor's letters to hand if they choose to go down that route.

A big "thank you" to everyone who has contributed on this issue. I am currently playing my cards very close to my chest in order to protect my daughter and have no intention of going public until she is out of there, after which time I will let all hell break loose on them, as at that point I would have nothing to lose. I just need to get her through the next few months and try to prevent her from failing altogether.

With regard to the Disability Discrimination Act, I have been looking at the new Equality Act (which I believe replaced most of the DDA last October) with great interest and, even though independent schools can, apparently, do what they like about examination entry, as pointed out by onimolap in the thread, they may still be breaking the law by discriminating against her - and, as I now have it in a letter from the school that they ARE in fact entering her as an external candidate, contrary to my wishes, I intend to pursue this point as, whatever they do, they cannot exempt themselves from legislation!

I have been doing lots of research and arming myself with all sorts of information and legal advice and I intend to state my daughter's case most vociferously.

The school, in my opinion, has not made reasonable adjustments - they have simply washed their hands of her to protect their image and, this being the case, they are guilty not only of that, plus discrimination, but also of DISHONESTY as they will not be reflecting their ACTUAL RESULTS. Hmmmm! And yes, I am sure the local papers and my local MP will be very interested in hearing all about the shoddy treatment received by a sick pupil at the hands of a school very highly regarded for its pastoral care.

WATCH THIS SPACE!!!

to answer question: both attacks took place outside school, although first one happened when school was closed due to snow...

Stargazer you have been rightly researching The Equality Act and it's impact means the school must discuss with you how they can accommodate your daughter.

I would not hesitate to be tough with the school in the circumstance.

I have since found out that my daughter was in fact entered as an external candidate for her GCSEs as early as November 2010 - without either my knowledge OR my consent (which the school still does not have). I probably should have realised it at the time, as the school's 'centre number' did not appear on the printed timetable I was given last year at a meeting with the Head (at which meeting it was simply handed to me without my being told it was an external entry). Because I didn't suspect anything, I didn't even notice - also possibly because I have been so stressed and worried and rushing around between NHS appointments etc. I was not asked until 28 January 2011 whether I would agree to it, which was a pointless question in the circumstances as they knew damn well that they had already done it without consulting me. No wonder the teachers can't be bothered with my daughter any more. I have a report from another mother, completely independently of my daughter that one of the teachers even told my daughter IN FRONT OF HER CLASSMATES that the only way she would ever catch up was to repeat a year. Another teacher, calling out the register, said my daughter's name out loud and immediately followed it by the word 'No'... whereupon my daughter, who was there, simply said: 'but Miss, I am here' - at which point the teacher looked up and said, 'oh, sorry, so you are'. Some support that is! I think the school has acted unethically, unfairly and I am not even sure that what they have done is even legal. I am in the process of taking advice before writing to the school, but it is a long process. If anyone out there knows the legality of this, I would be most interested to hear from them. You people out there may even have read the glowing reports this school gets - the latest inspection report being on their website. They were inspected in November 2010 and the report issued in Jan 2011 and it sings the praises of the school in every regard, especially results. However, it appears that the school is fantastic as long as the girls have no problems... the minute they do, the school doesn't want to know and looks at ways to get rid of them as soon as possible. Relatively recent new Head. Lots of startling changes. Running the school like a business rather than a place of learning and pastoral care (although they are prided for their pastoral care reputation, which is clearly not deserved). Head not much liked, even by the teachers is my overall impression, reading between the lines. I am not prepared to name and shame yet, as I am still figuring out and taking advice as to how to handle this, but give me time, because people need to know the truth. This school could be so wrong for some very bright girls, for this very reason. And no, it's actually not Hailsham... well, not quite! :)

Thanks for all the support.

I've only just read this and am so sorry that you and DD are going through this. It sounds as though the school sees itself as utterly beyond the law, which sadly many independent schools do. "...it appears that the school is fantastic as long as the girls have no problems... the minute they do, the school doesn't want to know and looks at ways to get rid of them as soon as possible... the school like a business rather than a place of learning and pastoral care" all sounds horrifically familiar.

Have you considered DD simply leaving the school, home educating and/or getting private tutoring and just doing her exams as an external candidate?

I think it's deplorable. Is there anything in the school that states that the school can enter the pupil as an external candidate if that pupil misses more than an certain nunmber of day schooling?