Son age 7 "hates" his teacher.............................

[ssd]

And he really means it. She does sound very strict, but without spending a day with her I can't comment. It's making him not want to go to school. Before this he was always enthusiastic about school. I've had a word with his year head but I feel she's unwilling to put any blame on the teacher. Maybe it's a personality clash, don't know......

help anyone, advise or experience please!!!

I had a really ghastly teacher when I was about 7/8. The whole class hated her, but there was one boy who she really picked on in particular.

Looking back, I think just having a horrid teacher who everyone hates wasn't the end of the world (although it was a shame) but for the boy she picked on it was really bad and if the same happened to my ds I would be tempted at least to try to investigate further. Maybe go in and see her on some pretext and make it clear that I was aware of the situation.

I spoke to his form head today but I feel she gave me a load of waffle about promoting positive values etc etc. I wll speak to his teacher when the Oct hols are finished as she is the one involved. I feel ds1 is a chatterbox and this teacher is very old school and will try to crush anyone with a lot of opinions, which ds1 certainly has. He said he's really scared of her and it's making him ill each morning.

My question is how do I handle this? I don't want to be sent away with a load of spin, I want to help ds1. How will I get the teacher to understand what I mean? I feel powerless in this as I feel the school will take her side and it'll be me+ds1 versus them. Ds1 is terrified she's going to take it out on him if I speak to her, but I can't let this go.

please please advise.

I would make an appointment without DS initially. I would explain that you have recently had a lot of trouble getting him to school for a while now and that he seems very unhappy in class. Tell her that you are keen to work with her to get him "back on track", that you were wondering if she had noticed a change in his behaviour etc, what advice she has to boost his morale etc. If you go in with a positive "I want to be up front and work with you" type approach rather than be seen as someone gone in to have a go at her, maybe she will be more approachable and thns can move forward. Ideally, you want to leave her knowing that she is aware that there is a problem, that you are a reasonable parent who will support the school and your son. This way you should be able to see if you can avoid a them and us mentality and perhaps even get her to feel more sympathetic towards him and see him as a worried little boy rather than a "trouble maker" or "chatterbox" or whatever her present opinion might be.
There might even be other issues that you could help with - eg. - who does he sit with ? distraction or dislike them? If he isn?t listening and getting in trouble, does she think he could benefit from a hearing test? Is he finding it hard to keep up with work? Is there anything she could recommend for you to do at home to back it up? Or is he a bit bored and could she give extra work to stretch him?
Another good one is to make sure that you agree to a follow up meeting to see if the situation has improved in a couple of weeks - will keep her mind focussed on boosting his morale and giving him a more positive approach.
If he is unhappy I wouldn?t leave it any longer - situation will only get worse. Personally, I would phone tomorrow and book an appt. for earliest opportunity
Good Luck xx

thanks kuoni, that's really excellent advice.

Will call school tomorrow.

thanks again, really appreciate your post!

ssd x x x

called school, will try to set up meeting with teacher when October hols finished.

I had a similar problem with DS1 last year - had numerous meetings with teacher/year head - nothing was resolved in my opinion and problems continued even to extent that ds would cry before school. Now he is year 5 with new teacher - he is definitely happier but on the negative side i think year 4 was wasted for him plus their was very little improvement in his work - very sad. I hope your school are more understanding and proactive.

Have to say Kuoni's post is excellent advice - was going to say very similar but think she's probabably said it better . Had very similar experience with dd1 last year in Y3. Definitely a very big change from Y2 which dd1 found difficult to adjust to. She cried (a lot!!) every morning, had bad dreams, terrible Sundays because it was nearly Monday etc you get the picture. We spoke to the headmistress (well I sobbed to her actually ) and dh and I had a very long chat with her teacher along the lines of how can we (as in us as parents working with her as teacher) help dd1 to be a happy little bunny again. Both her teacher and head then put A LOT of effort in and it was a hard slog on my part watching her be soooo distressed. However by the Christmas she was fine and decided that her teacher was then the bees knees!!! At the next parents evening we made a point of thanking her teacher for making the effort and I actually get along great with her now (and I really, really HATED her with a vengence when it was happening - silly I know). So do discuss asap - I wouldn't have your ds with you personally at your initial discussions though. Good luck!