Twins - same class in reception or separate them?

[TinyGang]

My B/G twins are starting next year (sept 06) and I wonder what thoughts other mums of twins - (or grown up twins looking back on their schooldays for that matter!) have.

The school is lovely and have no fixed policy. They are happy to do as we wish. The school is small - only two classes in each year which mix and work together, so plenty of interaction, especially during reception.

I used to think twins should be kept together, but although they are close and have a great relationship, they are not glued together and don't mind doing their own thing. Inevitably they are starting to make their own boy and girl friends.

I am starting to think they might appreciate their own space at school and I don't want them to feel in competition with each other all day long at school. They currently attend the same pre-school sessions but the teachers there say they don't stick with each other at all. Dh feels they would do better in separate classes and feels that if we want or have to split them later it'll be more traumatic.

Any thoughts?

I have b/g twins now in year 3. They've been in separate classes since reception and although the first term was a bit tough on my ds becasue he found it harder than dd to make friends of his own it was worth sticking at it. Fortunately his teacher was very understanding as she had 16 yr old twin girls of her own, so he got a few more cuddles with the teacher in his first term, but in my opinion it worked very well. They see each other at playtime and assembly/lunch etc but in all honesty they are just like the a brother and sister in the same school now and each have their own friends... it was definitely the right thing to do for mine...

I have 6 year old unidentical girl twins. In their school there is 3 classes to each year and it's school policy to seperate twins. I used to disagree and was reluctant when they went into reception. They are now in year 1, still in seperate classes and I really do think it is the best thing for them

They have their own friends, have lots of contact with each other in school and both seem to be thriving.

I have a friend with twin boys who started in reception together and then in year 2, Mum changed her mind and separated them and they found the split harder at that age, but Mum was right to stick to her guns. Now one in ds's class and one in dd's class and they are achieving so much more by being separate.

Interesting to hear these and any other responses you might get TinyGang. My non-identical twin girls are in their 4th week of reception and are in different classes which is the school's policy unless we object. I thought it was a great idea, develop their own interests, own friends etc but 4 weeks down the line I am not so sure. One of them misses the other terribly and keeps asking her teacher if she can go and see her. We've had floods of tears every morning from her. I found this surprising because, like yours, they didn't go near each other at nursery and seemed quite separate. I'm not quite sure what to do now. DH thinks we should persevere but I hate to see her so unhappy.

i have bg twins - think it depends on their relationship with each toher.

i always found comfort int he fact that when they started school at least they would know someone!

mine were in same class and that was good becuase as a b&g they made different friends and tended not to associate with each other unless there was trouble then Ez beat up the bullies for Jake!!

Oh I'm so sorry Sandyballs - what a dilemma for you all I worry this might happen too and then what you hoped was going to be an exciting time (ie starting big school) turns into a trauma.

Rainbow's post offers a bit of reassurance - sounds like her ds was a bit wobbly at first, then settled ok.

My dd is the one I feel might react like this -it could go either way with her. On the one hand she is the more confident of the two, but she can get very emotional and het-up. Ds is calmer and more accepting of things and can be persuaded to reserve his judgement on a given situation until he's got all the facts. Mind you, if dd does react like this, I think it'll be because of how she might feel about being at school per se rather than whether or not she's in the same class as her brother. Possibly. You see I can cover just about any scenario lol - it's choosing which way to jump for the best, isn't it?!

I do hope you work it out Sandyballs - please post again in a while - I'd be very interested in how things are going for you all and really hope you dd settles well.

Thanks to everyone so far, most helpful Any other thoughts?

sounds like they work well together custy!

I also wonder if she would have been like this at school, regardless of being split from her sister, you just can't tell can you. She says she misses her and that's why she is crying, but then five minutes later she says she misses me. Bit of a shock to us really as her sister was always the clingy one at nursery, not wanting to leave me, and she was the one who dashed in without looking back.

If you do decide to separate them I would make sure you do plenty of things separately with them next year, leading up to their split in reception. I don't think me and DH did this enough.

Here are my experiences. There are 11 months and 11 days between my sis and I. I am the oldest. My parents had no choice so we were both in the sam school year when we got to age 11. Up till that myself and 4 other kids wer put up a year so I wasn't in class with my sis. Once we were together I hated it. We have identical IQ and both good at arts not sciences so choose same elective subjects. 24 hours a day my sis was with me, never any space. I couldn't wait to go to Uni to get away from her. We always fought and never got on. To such an extent that I swore I would only have 1 child. I really think that we would have been friends if we were in diff school years or at diff schools.

I had DD age 32 and for first time my sis and I became close, she is doting aunt. Sis was godsend when my X left. But even so DP had snip last week as still not tempted to inflict a younger sibling on my DD.

I have B/G twins who have started reception this year. They are in the same class (at my request) and will go into seperate classes when they go into year 1. I felt this was the correct thing to do in regards to my twins. They have their own interests etc. There has never been any seperation problems. My DS has speech therapy 2 days a week in a seperate school and goes off quite happy, as does my DD who quite happily goes to school 3 days without her brother. I think it all depends on the childrens personalities.

Lucylady - I was thinking about this but surely when you separate them in year 1, it will mean one of them moving to a class on their own, leaving their friends behind and almost starting afresh, while the other one stays put with the familiar crowd.

Sandtballs, Hi, In my twins school there is only 2 classes in reception. The 2 classes are joined and the children mix. When they go up to year 1 the school always mixes the 2 classes. So they will be familiar with every other child. So whatever class they are in in year1 they will know everyone. They will have different teachers then but nearer the time I will start explaining this to them so they will understand. Hope this makes sense!

a friend of ours has b/g twins who've just started in yr one. in reception they were in the same class, but have now been put into separate classes. the mum had concerns that the boy would miss his sister terribly (he's the quieter, more dependent one) but he's really flourishing

My brother and sister are twins and it was the advice of the school that they were separated. It worked well. They are still close (now 16) but have their own friends and so on.

We have triplets (identical g's and a b) in DS1's reception year. The parents asked for them to be split........which they are "of sorts" - unfortuantely there's only 2 reception classes. They seem very happy with the situation.

Bumping for the evening crowd.

Knew a Danish girl with BG twins - in Denmark they start girls a whole year earlier then boys so her DD started first, then a yar later her DS started!

She said it was fine.

Hi, I have twin boys aged 4 who started school in september. I kept them together for the following reasons:

They were quite independant of each other and I felt there was no great need at this stage

They are the youngest in the class, were a month premature , therefore they shouldnt really start until next year and if they were still at preschool nobody would think of splitting them up

The school do a reshuffle at the end of this year or possibly the next year . I plan to split them up then, as in principle I agree in the long term its better for them both to be split

There is a bit of a selfish reason in there too as I work fulltime and it makes life easier to only have to deal with one teacher and have outings on the same day etc.

the only downside of keeping them together for me at the moment is that I feel the teacher may lump them together when talking about them to me but really she is probably comparing them to each other .in preschool , although it was a fantastic school, the teacher always talked about them as if they were one child, almoct as if she was afraid to say , well Ds1 is great at this but DS2 isnt

I think if there isnt going to be an opportunity to split them up in the future its better to do it now rather than not at all - maggie