DD starting Y5 at Private school easter -any advice for her,and me??

[dobby2001]

So the papers are all signed,we have given notice at her current school and got most of new school unifom sorted via lovely ladies in office and generous secondhand shop at new school .

have bought self some slightly smarter jeans for pick up time oh, and a bit of Boden to help me fit in [grin} (Joke - I think )

I am possible being a very sad muppet here but is there anything i could/should be doing to help ease transition?

Are there any things i should be considering in terms of new school or am i naive ok to assume things will be similiar to current school routines?

Prety much the same.

Perhaps be prepared for more homework. Also will your child now have separate subject teachers. And expect end of year exams. All of which will add up to the need to pick up study and organisational skills. (Having them in place is an advantage for secondary though.)

Expect some catch up in French or Latin, and even maths and English. (More essay writing.)

I would be inclined to be a bit more hands on in the first few weeks in terms of overseeing homework and helping learn for tests. If it an academic school leading to say Common Entrance, and might prove a big jump you might go and see the Head of Year to see if there is anything you might go through in advance, eg what they have been covering in science to ease the transition.

I suspect that you are allowed to demand more time off form teachers in the private sector, so at the start do just that .

If your child is sporty or musical it might be worth a word. Sports teams, choirs etc will be established, but extra curricular is one of the strengths of the private sector and a way of getting to know other children, so talk to the form teacher about how your child might get involved.

Do try to go to parents things, as this helps for future playdates. You may find an organised PTA will be helpful and welcoming, but again cliques may have formed. Just grin and bear it and try to spot others sitting on the sidelines.

Many schools provide a list of pupils with their addresses. See if the school secretary will give you one in advance so you can have a couple of play dates and maybe even find some school run shares.

Does the school allow a taster day in advance of starting? Or are there any events, such as fetes, that you could go along to.

I hope I have not made it sound as if there is anything to worry about. There wont be. Children adapt quickly and the school will know what they are doing.

Smart jeans and Boden not necessary. Most of us private school parents are too skint from fees to afford good clothes for ourselves.
Introduce yourself to the other parents. You will probably find that they are delighted to meet you. Anyone who is unfriendly to you can be written off. The other parents probably think that the 'unfriendlies' are crap too.
Wait a bit to do playdates. Early friendships need time to shake out. From the other side of the equation, my DD was very enthusiastic about a new girl who joined mid-year and begged for a playdate. By the time I had arranged one, she had decided that the new girl wasn't very nice. It was the playdate from hell! Give your DD a chance to see who she clicks with.
I sort of disagree with Needsmoresleep about PTA. Most are dying for new recruits and will lovebomb you! Smart private schools organise meetings to suit working mums.
Your DD will be absolutely fine. She'll probably find that she is in a class with more likeminded friends and there will be heaps of stimulating activities on offer.

Check in advance what kit she needs for the first day. See if you can get a copy of the timetable so as you know what she needs each day. Certainly ds takes his kit in and brings it home to be washed each day, so that may be a change from state.

Label everything without fail. Especially shoes.

See if you can work out what the parking arrangements are in advance - you don't want to be identified as the person who brought the school run to a halt by parking in the wrong place.
Ask about the arrangements for signing up to afterschool clubs - sometimes this is done at the end of the previous term. Also worth checking where you pick up from.
Have you been through the school calendar? Will give you an idea of how many sports fixtures/concerts etc you may be looking at. No point signing up for her normal out of school activities if she'll be playing netball every Saturday.

Is she already at a private school (you mention notice)? If not why don't you move her at halfterm (or sooner)? Less catch up and more time before end of year exams (which will be either the week before May half term or the week after most probably - but the summer term is very short). She'll only be at the new school for 8 weeks before breaking up for the same.

You could ask the school to get a few parents to contact you so DD knows someone before starting school.

Summer time is a great term to start. Light nights, lots of outdoor classes/trips and everyone generally feeling happy. Spring is the worst term to start!

If there is a class parent rep try and make contact with them. They will get you in the loop for everything.

As for sports kit ds's goes in on a Monday and is brought home on a Friday.

What great replies, thanks! Glad to hear the boden wont be required - its too darned expensive for everyday, and as I work as a childminder 4days a week, it would get snotted on most of the time!

DD has already been to a "trial" day before christmas which the school offer if you are thinking about joining very seriously (seriously enough to pay the admin fee for them to look at your forms!)and want to test DDs reaction - She will be in a class of 7 boys and 5 girls so was mobbed by the girls who thought it fabulous they might be closer to even numbers if she joined them

Do go to all the parent coffee morning etc. They are a wealth of knowledge and you will find other mums who were in exactly your situation when their kids started. Our school has a parent portal on the web where you can get info about the day to day happenings. Try and go watch a sports match in the first week or so even if your DD isn't picked to play, great time to meet other mums and chat.

Be prepared for her to be shattered by the end of the day, mine are they board to and by the end of the 3 weeks when you get an exeat weekend they just want to spend all weekend in bed. The extra sport plus the extra brain power used in the more intense teaching means they really do need to be in bed early and not doing much at the weekend.

Good luck with fitting in and remember most of us work hard and sacrifice a lot for our kids to be there so you will be more like us than you realise

She may be a bit more tired in the first weeks and a bit up and down, but this is normal.

French was the subject we found we had to catcp up in: we had to learn hundreds of words in the first year. Everything else was straightforward enough.

I have found the parents very friendly and kind. Just ignore anyone who's not.

Agree with others , ask the office to put you in touch with form rep as there will be coffee mornings/socials/matches this term and you can find out about forthcoming trips, curriculum and timetable, what uniform and kit to buy(or not!) etc to get ahead. Also don't walk in and insist just how sporty/clever/musical Dobby jr is - you can't be sure what she is up against or who you are taking to ie. If Dobby jr turns out to be sporty and usurps the captainship of Rounders from other mum's dd in her first week it may not go down well. If she isn't as sporty as you think you'll look daft.

Ask if there is a class or year rep that you can contact. That person willoften round up some other parents for a coffee. Or even a weekend meetup with your child's new class mates.

Ditto see if there is a class list, then you can check out if anyone lives near by and give them a call.

If you are a friendly nice person, as you very much seem to be you will be fine. Do not imaging you need to go near the Boden! Mostly people, everywhere, are friendly and well-disposed to help newbies - so if you expect them to be they will most likey live up to your expectation. Like anywhere you go there are likley to be will be 5% not nice,(ignore em!) 60% neutral, nice but not necessarily best friends,30% lovely people, will be loosely friends/regular acquaintances, and 5% who will be your bestest friends....

Yy to contacting c,ass rep.

Dd has an early sept birthday and if I get newbies details I always send an invitation so they can come along and spend a bit more time before start day.

There may be a meet up over easter that your dd could go to.

Also if you work full time as I always have (and you're a childminder so presumably you do ). Dont' worry. Plenty of mothers and fathers work and aren't expected at housewives' coffee mornings and stuff like that. Just be yourself. I think our oldest two had every item from the school second hand shop until they were about 14. It's usually rather common nouveau riche people who fuss about stuff being new or where you're from or what you do.

I think they might have to have a bit more responsibility and remembering what to take in when than in some state schools so as said above get the timetable and clubs time table, have a kitchen calendar, write down every week what is happening when and what kit is needed for what day and make sure it's got out the night before. At first check all homework every night (but don't do it for her). Obviousyl make sure you follow the school rules and any instructions about labelling clothes and what pen might be needed for class etc etc

Wow thank you everyone, this is soo helpful
Mrsguy why thank you for thhe complement, i do try to be friendly and approchable, although sometimes have to manage that alonside shepherding wayward toddlers and not being scary friendly iykwim

Taking kit to and from school daily/weekly will be a new one - DDs current state juniors have pe kit sent home for washing half termly . Homework will be a challenge too i think as currently only once a week,changing to every day - plus current school crap at dealing with late/missed submission, whereas new schools approach is do in lunchbreak - and sadly for DD we have always been hands off when it comes to doing her homework - we will support but not do

I have been in touch with school over a range of things, and they are so lovely and approchable, its a small school and very good on patoral care. Certainly will ring for timetable. They do coffee and cake mornings for each year but i have missed the one for her year so will contact class rep.

They also have another open day for prospective parents in March and although we are already signed up might still go along as we went to view seniors and only decided to send earlier afetr we fell in love with school so have yet to see juniors - they do share some facilities from y4 up so we are not going in blind!

Calendar on fridge and being filled in already with term dates etc! DD has a residential week with y5 and 6 in june so thats going to be a great way of really getting to know everyone

Just go with the flow. DD is likely to be very tired by the first half term and don't underestimate how much she might miss her old friends.

She will be shattered - but that is to be expected.

The whole getting yourself to lessons may come as a bit of a surprise to her and she might need a bit of help understanding timetables, etc.

OTOH, it sounds as though she will have more 'looking after' than she knows what to deal with the 5 girls already in the class. 6 girls is a nice number - should be good.

I would absolutely agree that secondhand uniform is generally 'cool' (at DC's school, the scruffier more 'vintage' it is the more desirable it is!)

School calendar is your friend. I have found a tendency to assume that you are telepathic (could be just DC's school with it's overwhelming majority of SAHMs (which I am not) and their grapevine), but if you ask someone will always tell you stuff - just don't (IME) wait for them to push info to you.

Always go through the school bag and pockets each night to find the notes home that the child never gave you or remembered.

Don't pester the teachers all the time. They have loads to do and can't be dealing with parents with questions all the time although if it's important of course then do.

She will be fine.

DC joined our prep from state all the time and apart from one child, everyone settled.

You will be absolutely fine - sounds like she had a wonderful time at the try out day and that is definitely the most important thing- so lovely that the other kids were welcoming. Totally agree with other mums about getting to know class rep/other parents, absolutely don't worry about the Boden - anybody who would think twice about what you're wearing and how smart it looks wouldn't be worth getting to know anyway (and would be a very rare parent too no?!)

I just thought all you lovely folk who gave me advice might want to hear about the lovely surprise we found on our doormat when we got back from our first day trip of the half term.

Following all your tips i had written a note asking for a copy of the timetable and expressing my willingness to be contacted by class rep. I also happened to mention that whilst DD was looking forward to starting at their school ,she was also understandably nervouse about leaving her old friends etc.

So today we had a letter addressed to DD. When she opened it,she was smiling so much as she read the contents that it took a while befoe i found out the contents .

It was a handwritten letter from one of the other girls in her new class, telling her how much they were looking forward to her starting, giving some news about the sort of things they will be doing and inviting her to come along to their next open morning in 2 weeks as many of the Y5 that she had a trial day with will be involved in hosting this. There was also a handwritten copy of the summer timetable which also set her all aflutter as it includes things she does not get the chance to do now such as performing arts.

It was such a lovely gesture and has gone such a long way to help reassure us that we made a good decision. DD is now bouncing off the walls with excitement again whereas we have had a couple of weeks of doubt and "i am going to miss all my friends etc" dramas.

So thanks for the advice folks, it had been a while since I had been in touch with the school and I had wondered wether to phone, when in fact they were obviously making time to do things well

Sounds like pastoral care wont be a problem,really nice story.

How cool is that ?

It sounds like a lovely school and I am really glad your DD is now excited about it again.