Very bright preschooler - what to do?

[StartingAfresh]

DD is 2.4 and is very bright. I haven't taught her a single thing but probably should do.

I have a million assessments in my possession due to her brothers SN and when looking at his development have noticed that she can do much more than her age says she should be and she is coming out on most of them at around age 5.

So, what should I do with her? Ignore her intelligence and carry on as I am (which is generally leaving her to herself whilst I spend all my time dealing with ds' issues), try to find more time for her to just play, hot-house her, stick her into some kind of institution for bright kids, or stick her in the local school on the council estate where ds goes, get a private tutor in, give her music lessons?

What? I don't mind just leaving things if that is the right thing to do, but I think that to be fair to her that has to be a decision rather than a consequence of me never getting around to her needs.

bump?

My ds had developmental problems and it feels strange to have a younger child with no developmental issues. My dd is not ultra bright, but her development is more advanced than average. It feels wonderful for my confidence. Especially as I remember stupid people trying to give me advice on how to get my two year old walking. It has shown me that nature plays as much of a role as nuture.

I think its best to enjoy our children and let them develop at their own pace. I try and spend one to one time with both my children. It feels strange that my dd can put her socks on without any help where as my ds struggles at the age of nine.

Even the brightest of children learn through play. Music can be fun, but it needs to be enjoyable.

Development is a funny thing. My son who had no speech and could not walk at two has over taken many children once his problems were sorted. I think its best to take each day as it comes.

Usually I'd say "just spend time doing interesting things with her" as children don't need you to actively "teach" them in order to learn, just to give them opportunities. You say you "haven't taught her a single thing" but I'll bet she can speak, eat with a spoon, and do loads of things that she has learned from you even if you didn't consciously set out to teach her them.

But if you really feel you aren't able to spend time giving her much interaction, then maybe it would be a good idea for her to spend time with other adults who can give her a bit more of their focus - that could be family if you have them handy, or a nursery or other childcare. I don't think you need to worry about her having to be somewhere focussed on bright kids at this age, but all small children benefit from having adults suggesting things for them to do, showing an interest, helping them if they get a bit stuck etc, and it sounds like you feel DS's needs make that difficult for you to provide.

I'd also say (easy for me to say!) that she'd benefit even more from some of your individual attention, if there's any chance of some cover for your DS from elsewhere. But I know that's a lot easier for me to say than for most carers to do!

Thanks. I suppose I feel that she is disadvantaged enough in life so if I can help her to make use of her advantages then perhaps she won't always have to take a back seat to ds.

I think encouraging her to use her abilities is important, but not as important as giving her the security and self-confidence to believe that she can use them, and that she is loved and valued for herself and not just what she can do. It's a fine line, but hothousing and focussing on her being "bright" can get in the way of her feeling that she matters as a person, not just because of her brightness. And that's where your attention is the "sunshine" she needs to grow.

Don't worry about hot housing at this point, but find opportunities to let her grow eg when walking through town, count cars (then red ones, vans, lamp posts etc). Count her grapes out for her, and play games taking one away etc. Read with her, teach her her letter sounds and then blending and reading. This will give you little moments of special time with there - can you read with her at bedtime on her own?

Encourage her imagination. Read with her, talk to her, engage with her and give her as many opportunities as you can to discover things for herself. Don't hothouse her. She is just a bubba.