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Original poster

Redaing problems age 5

17 replies

hammers68 · 07/01/2011 20:10

I am mum to a boy just turned 5. He started FT school in Sep & took to learning words & reading very well. He is now at the stage where he needs to blend sounds to make new words & has been struggling with this for about a month. He cannot yet decide whether he is left or right handed making him a bit clumsy writing. After helping out each week reading I thought him amongst the top 1/4 of his 30 strong class for reading. However, his teacher has just put him on the bottom table of 5 amongst those children who have not progressed beyond word cards and have obvious learning difficulties. She justifies this by saying she has concens about his inability to blend sounds. Should I go about getting him tested for dyslexia or some other problem. I am in bits.I thought he was doing well above the average for his class
Any advice anyone?

OP posts:
stoatsrevenge · 07/01/2011 21:57

You are abusing your position as a mum helper.

Your job is not to track the children's progress or to monitor their attainment. That is the teacher's job.

You certainly should not be questioning the teacher's judgements based on your 'observations' to her face. I would be furious if a mum helper made comments to me about my classroom decisions. Hmm

Your child is only just 5. If the teacher had any concerns, she would tell you. You could even arrange a meeting.... but to tell her what you think she should be doing and where your son should be......Hmm

If you are helping with a hidden agenda to keep an eye on the teacher, please don't bother. Go and help in a charity shop instead.

thisisyesterday · 07/01/2011 22:03

no, you don't need to get him tested for anything.

the teacher is trained, you are not. you are there as a helper, not to judge his (or anyone else's) ability.

the teacher has his best interests at heart. she wouldn't do it without thinking it is necessary I am sure.

you also need to stop worrying about where he is compared to his peers. He is FIVE! it doesn't matter!

If you are genuinely concerned that there may be a problem then arrange to speak to the teacher about it, and maybe ask what else you can do to help encourage him at home.

I know you're worried, but he really is very young and it takes time to learn this stuff. In a lot of countries children of this age aren't even in school yet.

Original poster
hammers68 · 08/01/2011 00:07

blimey, I won't be asking for help again in this forum if I am going to be branded an abuser of my position as a helper.

The teacher tells me now that she does have concerns which she hasn't mentioned to be before I asked her about this, which is why I am so baffled.

NB I had volunteered to help out for my child, not to judge, but I suppose I am only human & I personally don't think all teachers are gods.

I was actually after advice re dyslexia & whether I was unnecesarily worried rather a lecture on my behaviour:(

OP posts:
CointreauVersial · 08/01/2011 00:12

I think the point the others were trying to make is that you are worrying unnecessarily. He is only a baby and has had only a term at school. It is maybe too early to jump to conclusions that he has a problem.

ShoshanaBlue · 08/01/2011 02:26

I think that you should volunteer to help the school rather than your child and that it might be a better idea to help out in a different classroom to your child. After all, you can help your child at any time.

I'm sorry, but a lot of people have ulterior motives when they volunteer in schools. I have known of mums who do this to actually choose their child's school!

Btw, my child was very late in hand preference. Hand preference is usually decided around 18 months. They didn't even start to write much until the last term of Reception, so I don't think it's anything to worry about.

I really don't think it is a good idea to compare your child to others in the class. I think that terms like 'top of the class' are outdated. I really don't think that the teacher should have to justify herself to you. For me, I don't particularly care that my child is in the 'top' group, what matters is that she is getting work that is appropriate for her age/ability/stage of development.

If your child is struggling then I think that parents evening is the time and place for it (unless the concerns are more serious).

IndigoBell · 08/01/2011 08:14

I think it is a bit too early to be thinking of dyslexia. From your description he does not have the classic symptoms - yet.

If however he doesn't get blending in the next few months then you need to talk to the teacher about what the next steps are.

A label of dyslexia is also not at all helpful. The way to teach dyslexic children to read is the same way as to teac other children - through synthetic phonics.

CecilyP · 08/01/2011 10:58

It sounds as if your son is good at recognising words but is not yet able to blend sounds to work out new words for himself. (There will be some children who have difficulties the other way round) But if he has only been trying for a month, it is still very early days. Have a word with the teacher by all means as it could put your mind at rest. It is far, far too early to think about having him tested for dyslexia.

stoatsrevenge · 08/01/2011 14:21

hammer, your comments:

  • 'After helping out each week reading I thought him amongst the top 1/4 of his 30 strong class...'

*'....his teacher has just put him on the bottom table of 5.... she justifies this...

*'....have obvious learning difficulties.'

mean you have compared your son with the other children, asked the teacher to justify why your son is sitting on his current 'table' and made judgements of the other children's abilities.

This is not the role of a mum helper. You are going into school to hear readers. Just that, to hear readers.

At our school, mum's are not allowed in the same class or groups as their children (except on school trips).

It is far too early to think about dyslexia, which is tested from the age of 7, when children have been through the 'learning to read' process and are having difficulties. Your child has just started school. You will find over the next two years that there will be enormous shifts in his peer group in ability placing because of the different rates of development of the children.

Just let him progress at his own rate and, please, stop comparing him to the others. It doesn neither you nor him any good.

Original poster
hammers68 · 08/01/2011 17:39

Thanks for all the constructive comments, I do feel a little reassured.

I seem to have given the impression of being overly competitive with some ulterior motive for helping out at school.Yes, I have compared him to others, but only because i am now worried for him.

I am in fact a working mother who thought it rather nice to start work an hour late one day a week by taking an interest in what my youngest was up to at school & helping out at the class which struggles to hear all the children read. There are no perks to helping out with the reading & I would not be able to help out in any other class, I assume for child protection reasons.

OP posts:
mrz · 08/01/2011 17:46

I think it is too early to worry and the teacher seems to be aware of problems and dealing with them.

You should have a CRB check whether you help out in your child's class or other classes the same rules apply.

Nonicknamesleft · 13/01/2011 21:47

This topic is now probably dead but I thought I'd just add a postscript in case you're still checking the thread. I think you've been unfairly massacred here tbh, through possibly an unfortunate choice of words such as "justifies".

It's natural to worry, and whatever anyone says, everyone secretly compares their children to his/her peers, even though rationally we know it's unwise. Yes, you must respect the teacher's experience and professionalism, and yes, you are almost certainly panicking unnecessarily. But I think you might be given a little credit for the fact that you actually have some context for your comparison and it's a pity everyone has jumped to the conclusion that you've behaved badly, even though none of us have any idea at all about how you approached this with the teacher. All you actually told us is that the teacher "justifies" ("explained" might have raised fewer hackcles) her reasons for her assessment and that now you are worried. I hope you managed to extract some reassurance from the butchery.

coccyx · 14/01/2011 06:20

Butt out, what makes you the expert. Glad you are not in my reception class "helping' them to read

Nonicknamesleft · 14/01/2011 10:09

Bloody hell. Thanks for proving my point.

Watchtheclock · 14/01/2011 10:51

Omg coccyx we are glad you are not their teacher 'teaching' them!

smee · 14/01/2011 13:53

Blimey some of you are a bit harsh. Of course as a helper you should be just that, but it's impossible not to notice how your own child's getting on surely.

Hammers68, fwiw, my son's now 6.6 and didn't get the blending for ages. In fact he didn't really click until the end of year 1. He's zooming along now and reading well. He's not unusual either, so honestly it really is far too early to worry. Most important thing is that your son loves books and is happy at school. The rest will follow at some point.

ragged · 14/01/2011 14:36

How can anyone as parent helper not notice how their own child is doing compared to others? All OP is saying is that she thought her son was doing better than he is, she was shocked to realise how far off her assessment was and is a bit panicked now to realise how badly he is doing (or so she fears).

She's having an attack of self-doubt, not questioning the teacher's judgements.

Hammers:
I think it's too young to test for dyslexia (am not expert, though)

The teacher & you should be a team in your son's education, ask his teacher what things you can best do at home to help him. Ask teacher specifically to help you think of things you aren't already doing; although like someone else said, sometimes time is what he'll need, and you have to wait for that.

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