Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Original poster

Sex Education . When?

30 replies

brightstar1 · 27/09/2005 22:03

When do you think is a good age to tell kids the facts? My Ds1 (nrly 10) has started hinting and asked me when they will be doing lessons at schl. Said that a girl in his class said "my mum is telling me everything" and she will tell everyone! shudder to think!!!!!!!!! I think its too young to tell them everything, but maybe not?

OP posts:
QueenOfQuotes · 27/09/2005 22:04

some kids start having sex at 10/11yrs old - and with girls having periods from that young I think it's essential they know all the 'gory' details.

Original poster
brightstar1 · 27/09/2005 22:06

I'm locking him up!!!!!!And the other 2.

OP posts:
QueenOfQuotes · 27/09/2005 22:07

LOL

happymerryberries · 27/09/2005 22:07

In year 7 in our school they get the whole thing explained. In detail. It takes us 5 lessons which are an hour and 10 minutes each. We cover conception, development in the womb and birth, along with bf and contraception.

I am sure that they cover it in part in primary and I know that they get the puberty talk in y6.

You might want to discuss it with her before this happens? You could ask in school if they have anything planned so you get prior warning.

Original poster
brightstar1 · 27/09/2005 22:10

I dont want him told by someone else (bit unrealistic perhaps) but dont feel he needs to know how to do IT

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 27/09/2005 22:11

Don't worry, BS1 - they don't do practicals

happymerryberries · 27/09/2005 22:12

Well, I'd imagine that he will get 'it' in year 7 most schools seem to.

I fully agree with you not wanting someone else to tell him, I have already had some chats with dd (8) , at her instigation.

I'd ask him what he wants to know, if you want to get in before the school does.

Original poster
brightstar1 · 27/09/2005 22:13

hunkermunker LOL!! Ijust dont see why a 10yr old needs to know how to have sex. surely it will encourage them to try it younger? Am i being paranoid?

OP posts:
happymerryberries · 27/09/2005 22:14

Yes, deffo no practicals!

We use the Robert Winston programs that are on TV. Excelent but quite graphic, with a penis becoming erect under a heat sensitive camera (quite amazing!), a naked pregnant woman....quite 'tastefully done' and a real birth.

Stargazer · 27/09/2005 22:14

My DS is 9½ years old and has been asking questions, on and off, for the last six months or so. I think it's really important for him to know that he can ask me anything and I'll give him an honest answer.

He said to me last night that his junior dictionary was naughty and showed me the word "sex" and "sexual intercourse". I asked him to tell me what he understood by these terms and listened as he told me what they say in the playground!! Don't think that 10 is too young - it most certainly isn't!!

I think the most important thing is that your DS can ask you and know that you will be honest with him. It's not just the basic facts that he needs, but the understanding that sex is about love and relationships - something clearly missing from playground chat. It can be embarrassing, but I'd rather he learnt from me and my husband, then from the somewhat warped information in the school playground

happymerryberries · 27/09/2005 22:16

We were not taught any sex ed in school and we had unwanted pegnancies in year 8 upwards.

It is part of basic human biology just like breathing and digesting foods. Plus there will be girls starting their periods at this time.

It is all about fact tho, not tecnique!

happymerryberries · 27/09/2005 22:17

Stargazer, agree 100% context is all, and it is far better that kids get this info in a loving supportive setting, than 'dirty words' from their mates.

WigWamBam · 27/09/2005 22:19

Having started my periods at the age of 9, I really wish that someone had actually taken the time to explain them to me before then!

My 4 year old already knows the basic facts of life, and I think that it will be important to me when she's older to make sure that she knows the full facts before she starts hearing playground talk about it.

Original poster
brightstar1 · 27/09/2005 22:22

Agree with everything your saying. maybe its because i think he's growing up too fast!!!.Have told him he can ask us anything and we will be honest with him.. He went a bit red so probably knows more than i think anyway .

OP posts:
Stargazer · 27/09/2005 22:27

Merryberries - I think my DS started to be interested when I was pregnant with his sister - 4½ years ago. I managed to answer his questions then with basic answers - he wasn't that interested and thought the whole thing was ugh!!

However, he's a very big boy - about 3-4 inches taller than most of his class mates (looks about 12) and I have fears of him being an early starter!

WWB - there was a girl in my class (a long time ago) who started her periods at 9 - I remember asking my mum about it. She explained it all to me - and all I thought was - glad it's not me

happymerryberries · 27/09/2005 22:28

On balance I think that 'urgh' is a very healthy response!

If you think about it , it is a damn silly thing to do isn't it?

Stargazer · 27/09/2005 22:30

Well I've always maintained that it was "intelligent design" that lead to humans, etc - then the "intelligence" had a b**y warped sense of humour And, yes, ugh! is a good response in a youngster. Even though DS is 9½ now - he still has a bit of a ugh reaction - so I think we're okay for a while.

WigWamBam · 27/09/2005 22:33

My mother's way of explaining about periods was to throw me a packet of towels, tell me to put one of those on, and then to walk in on me in the bath a couple of hours later and say, "You do know what it's all about, don't you?". When I said no, she just tutted and walked out of the bathroom. Luckily, I had a teacher I could talk to who explained it to me - but only when it happened the second time. I thought I had cut myself, and that the cut must have opened up again.

It's important that children know what's going to happen to them.

Original poster
brightstar1 · 27/09/2005 23:18

Do they teach the emotional/ moral side of sex? or just physical? Do they tell the girls that its alright to say "no" and the boys that not everyone is doing it whatever your mates might say!

OP posts:
Original poster
brightstar1 · 28/09/2005 11:23

humpety bump. so to speak

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 28/09/2005 11:26

Better for him to learn the facts rather than the myths, BS1.

And it's taught in a very non-sexy way. And if teachers know about it...it's not that appealing, right?!

WigWamBam · 28/09/2005 11:27

I don't know if they teach the emotional or moral side in school sex education lessons, but I will be teaching dd that bit myself anyway.

shimmy21 · 28/09/2005 11:37

Hi Brightstar. For what it's worth I'm an ex primary school teacher and now spend much of my time writing and researching sex education policies (for my work -not for fun!!)I have to say that IME 10 is actually quite old to learn the basic facts because they will be discussed in the playground at a younger age than this and your ds will have been picking up probably incorrect snippets from all around already even if he's not mentioning anything to you. All evidence (e.g. teenage pregnancy and STD statistics from other countries) points to the best approach being a completely honest but age appropriate explanation from as young as they show any curiosity. For example pre-school children accept the most basic explanation of seeds and eggs and 'special cuddles' without batting an eye-lid. At the age of ten I'd be more frank and talk openly using proper words about the penis and vagina trying your damndest not to look uncomfortable. (I chat on car journeys with my boys so I don't have to look them in the eye!) And I'd definitely put it all in the context of a special relationship with someone important or whatever your own moral spin on it all is. Good luck!!

shimmy21 · 28/09/2005 11:44

I meant to add - studies show that when kids are given this sort of totally honest and open approach about sex from a young age it actually has the effect of delaying when they start 'doing it. In areas where sex ed is much more coy such as the states or only put in the context of a biology lesson experimentation tends to start younger.

Issymum · 28/09/2005 11:55

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at OP's request