So headmaster is being power hungry and insisting on unauthorised absence...

[Koumak]

Hi, not sure if this really belong in the education thread...but I have sent the headmaster of my son's primary school, he is in year one, saying that we have a family wedding on 22 dec (last day of term) and that ds is not going to be in on that day. Got a reply today saying: "As you have not sought persmission for ds's absence, it will be marked as unauthorised absence."
I have obviously not used enough "please" and "could you possibly"... Well, it is first time I have done anything like this. Ds has obviously missed some school due to ilness when he was in reception but all I had to do was to call the school office on the day and explain that he is not coming in. He also missed a day when his little sister was born and I would've thought that all the above absolutely reasonable. So why is he making a point? I have never asked for a time off due to an early or late holiday if you know what I mean? Obviously I want to appeal this. What do we think?

As an ex primary teacher, I can safely say it will make no difference whatsoever to anything other than the school's stats.

Stop stressing about it and enjoy the day with your child!!!

I'm not speaking for the head (who sounds a bit of an idiot for not handling it well in the first place) but teachers have enough to do without following up appeals etc about something that really honestly has no real repercussions on your child (apart from not winning the coveted 'best attendance award' which all but one in each class will miss out on too!!!!!)

Unfortunately, some teachers are petty idiots like this. I think its because they have never worked in the outside world, dealing with other adults as equals. First they were at school themselves, then briefly at uni, then back to the classroom, and that's all they've ever known. They view parents as subordinate to them, like the kids.

Before anyone jumps on me, I said 'some' teachers. DH is one, and I don't think he's like this. There are many normal teachers out there!

Thank you for all of your advice. I am thinking of writing the appeal letter but haven?t done so yet.
I am truly starting to believe that he is looking to show his "powers" as I have spoken to other mums in ds's class and it seems that there are family's that go away every year (although not sure if really marked as authorised to be honest) and some confirmed that he has granted them a day of absence, after a nice pleading letter that is. Also, one mum told me that she was very upset that he refused her the last day of summer term (wedding in Italy) even though she has written to him requesting permission and he still said no but after confronting him he said he would. She never got letter to this effect but the absence wasn?t marked on the report.
So I am really thinking that there is no ?tick the write box? issue it is more likely ?I will try if you take my answer? issue. Or am I thinking too much into it?
Oh well, I will let you know how I get on!

Honestly? You are thinking about this too much.

By submitting an appeal, you are giving the head the clear message that he has rattled you, and that gives him the upperhand in this situation, and shifts the power balance in the relationship.

Ignore it. It doesn't matter.

Today I was annoyed about a work / health issue, and my 85 year old neighbour advised me not to let it bother me, because life is too short. That's wisdom. Will you remember this when you are 85?

Unlikely.
So forget it now.

Enjoy the wedding.