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Helping DS settle at new preschool

2 replies

tex111 · 24/09/2005 19:13

DS, age 3, started at his new preschool three weeks ago and for the first two weeks he was fine. Last week he cried every day when I left. I tried to be calm and reassure him that I would be back after he played, did some painting and had a snack, etc, but he was distraught. Finally the teacher was able to distract him and I said a quick good-bye and left. I rang the school about fifteen minutes later and was told that he was fine. This happened all three days last week and it breaks my heart. He's been going to preschool since January and this is the first time he's shown any distress at my leaving him.

We are going through a lot of changes at the moment. We're moving house in a few weeks, I'm having our second baby at the beginning of November, DS has just mastered potty training and he's changed schools. I think all of this is contributing to his upset.

We talk about the changes coming up and we have some childrens books about new babies, moving house, potty training that we read. He does seem to have a lot of anxiety though, which is reasonable. His communication skills are pretty good but he does find it hard to explain how he's feeling and if I ask why he doesn't want to go to school he just says he wants to stay at home with me.

Do you think it's all of the change that's upsestting him or could it be the new school? Am I doing the right thing by leaving him there? What could I do to help him settle? I've never seen him get so nervous about school before and I'm concerned. I should add that when I go to pick him up from school he often doesn't want to leave! I have a good feeling about the school, just concerned at DS's reaction.

OP posts:
fqueenzebra · 24/09/2005 19:16

I think it's very common for them to become more clingy about your company at age 3 than they were at a younger age... That's what happened with my kids, many other children I have seen.

I can't tell you what's the "best" thing for you. When DS1 was like this I did make him stay, had to for work reasons, but I wouldn't do it again, I couldn't take that again. Could you go in to his sessions with him for a longer spell, even stay the whole time?

Why are you sending him to preschool? Is leaving him crying compatible with the reasons why you are sending him there?

tex111 · 24/09/2005 19:23

fqueen, he started preschool in January because I thought he would enjoy it and he's loved it up until now. It's really just an opportunity for him to play with other children and as a prep for regular school. He goes for 3 hours, 3 afternoons a week at the moment.

I've wondered about staying longer but this school takes the approach that the sooner I leave, the quicker DS will settle. It is true that he seems to stop crying within minutes of my departure. On Thursday I even stood in the hallway and listened and he had calmed down within a couple of minutes. Just breaks my heart though and I wonder what the tears are all about. He's never been one to cry without a reason and I'd like to try to understand how he feels so that I can do my best to help him.

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