Also - sorry, shamster, I don't wish to drag the thread back to phonics, despite your best efforts to keep it on track! but both as a parent and as a teacher in a related field, I've found this thread fascinating as an eye into a totally different world, and would like to know more... - so would be grateful if all those on this thread who've protested in favour of phonics being the be-all and end-all of teaching reading skills, could tell me what exactly phonics done right should be like?
This especially applies to maizie (? - correct name?), as she was so insistent that only those who had not seen phonics 'done right' could fail to see its merits.
Maybe she's right - maybe phonics is that good. If so, what as a parent of a 4 year-old should I be doing/expecting of his teachers?
As in step-by-step, please (links will do, though explanations welcome).
In particular, I'm concerned about the impact of phonics on spelling, as the danger (that I've seen in those taught primarily through phonics) is a tendency to try to spell words as they sound, which is clearly not going to get you very far in English! It might well work better in reverse, ie when decoding words not trying to write them down yourself; but I don't really get how knowing that that the 'ay' sound, say, can be written as 'a' or 'ay' or 'ai' etc is going to help you one little to bit to spell words with an 'a' sound in, without just going back to learning them all of by heart - in which case why not do that from scratch, and learn to recognise the whole word when you learn to read?
Genuinely interested to hear your replies.
At least one of you described yourselves as ' evangelical' - feel free to try to convert me to the cause. 
I'm open to ideas.