Would like my son to go to France for a term - any advice?

[RedSuedeShoes]

Preferably at a French private boarding school but I don't know where to start looking.

Redshoes, your son is a lucky young man to have a mother who is willing to offer him such an exciting opportunity within safe boundaries. I too would not be comfortable with a host family but would be so with a boarding school.

Sod the detractors, there's a hell of a lot of inverted snobbery about independent school on here and for many boarding is viewed as positively abusive. That's their loss.

I've no advice but good luck to you both. There but for a far lower income than you, go I! :)

Thanks Vallhala and Litchick.

Given your attitude Vallhala, your DC's will do well with a supportive parent, regardless of your income or the school they go to! :)

If only that were true Redshoes! I've had dreadful problems with DD2 recently - but that said, I've fought like beggary to get her support and the best environment, so I suppose where there's a will there's a way.

Thank you!

Well I have dreadful problems with my youngest but yes I am fortunate that he isn't in a class of 30. He can barely cope in a class of 14! :(

I spoke to a woman the other day who had 5 children and two of them had difficult school situations either because of bullying or learning/behavioural difficulties. They were all right in the end - matured, did average to good academically and have good jobs and more than anything are happy. In fact she says they are better, stronger adults because of their early difficulties. I do try and think of what she said when I have my head in my hands on tears in my eyes.

Not sure if anyone has asked, but why? Why would you need to improve his French by taking him out of school for a whole term?
We currently live in Belgium, albeit the Flemish end and DD started to learn French at school three months ago. We have tried to support this by (DH) talking to her in french and showing her french television. It hasn't helped a jot. she is just not interested.
OTOH, it is the third language she will have learned at school.

As DD2 comes under both those categories, I'm going to bear that in mind too. I've had my head in my hands and tears in my eyes many a time as well so I may know a little of how you sometimes feel (despite our diffences in lifestyle! :o ).

I wish you and yours all the happiness in the world.

French boarding schools are often for troubled children or those with special circumstances e.g. forces families. FT boarding schools are relatively rare. Many of them weekly board for children who live too far away to come daily and they go home at the weekend.

You could try EABJM Lille but that's bilingual and they'd probably want him there for the year as they run 'adaptation' programmes. Ecole des Roches have a college boarding section and a bilingual stream. Le Cevenol is another possibility - I think they have a college.

Wouldn't recommend L'Ermitage which is just outside Paris.

The other thing to bear in mind is that if your DS is born in Sept-Dec he will be displaced a year. The school entry age is calculated on calender year so he may be catapulted into the year above.

I do agree with the others that a term is not likely to be looked on favourably and that French education is veeeeery different to British education.

You're better off finding a MNetter who will take him in than entrusting him to a French boarding school! DH spent 2 years boarding when his parents were posted away and it was not a positive experience because, as has been pointed out, boarding schools in France are not the same as boarding schools in the UK.

And you too. Who knows they may end up being the next Dragon Den members!

My mum speaks fluent French and puts it down to staying with a French family and attending a French school for 6 months at the age of 14- on an extended school exchange.

yes, it was hard at times, but she feels, looking back that it was character building and worthwhile.

At my children's school, they often have short stay pupils from Italy, Germany, France etc etc. They see it as a huge privilege to be able to come to an English school and their english greatly improves in a term or two. My daughter is such good friends with a German girlthat she spent two weeks in Berlin last summer, staying with her family and her German friend is coming to stay with us at new year :)

I know a family who have 4 DDs all of whom have done a term at Sauveterre and loved it- lessons all in French but there are plenty of English speaking kids around in the same situation as you. They all did it aged 13 as they were all a year ahead at prep school and parents felt they were too young to go on to senior school boarding so the whole term at Sauveterre was great for them. My DD was dead jealous and wanted to go too!

Valhalla - I don't think the detractors are objecting on the grounds that redsuedeshoes is looking for an independent school, rather trying to point out that private schools in Britain are not the same as private schools in France. Firefrakkers sums it up best. If redsuedeshoes has visions of a lovely summer term punctuated by sports days and end of term concerts she is in for a big disappointment. My dcs have always been in French schools and in my experience they are characterised by rote learning and a relentlessly academic curriculum (no art, drama, music or sport - that's something to pursue at home!). I should add that I'm all in favour of total immersion language learning - my children are trilingual as result of various moves abroad - but I think she should be aware that it might be a bit grim for her son. My dh and I always say it must be an absolute delight for French educated kids to move into the English system (and my experience of kids doing just this bears it out), doing it in reverse is another thing entirely. There are colonies de vacances all over France in the summer and bearing in mind French schools break up at the end of June you could till take him out of school for the last few weeks without it eating into the holidays. That way he could start afresh with a bunch of French children and have some fun - a far more positive experience in my opinion.

When I was studying French at university I went off aged 19 on my compulsory third year abroad to teach as an assistant. We were told at sessions before going, and my experience confirmed it absolutely, that the first 3 months would be really exhausting and we'd be very homesick, we'd all be dying to go home at Christmas, and then after Christmas we'd grow to love it and not want to leave.

With a few exceptions, that was absolutely right. My French was very good before I left, I knew the country, and the region I was in, well, and I still found it very, very hard. It took 3 months to get used to everything - and that was at 19, not 12.

I'd agree that you'd need to look outside the state education system (and that includes most private schools, for reasons stated elsewhere on the thread), as French schools are not geared up at all for this kind of thing, a French internat bears no resemblance whatsoever to a private boarding school, many if not most or even all kids go home for the weekend, and he'd have little to no chance of understanding any lessons; nor would a teacher in a class of 35 pupils be able to give him extra help. He'd not be doing philosophy, that is only in Terminale, but maths, science, history/geography etc. would be very hard. I have been teaching/lecturing in France for over 15 years.

Have just googled Sauveterre - that is another thing entirely. Not really a French school - more a school in France. Probably a much better proposition.

That last bit wasn't an attempt at blowing my own trumpet; I just meant that I know the system from the inside very well - I have worked alongside many French teachers and taught hundreds of students hoping to pass the competitive exams to become a teacher. French education is anything but flexible, in fact it is pretty much designed not to be, for historical, sociological, political and cultural reasons. That is a tough system to enter if you are used to the British one; add the language barrier, and the idea is a very, very tall order for a child of that age (euphemism alert ).

This is generally an incredibly emotive subject, as demonstrated by some of the reactions, but my DB2 did a 6 month either way exchange with these people when he was 9. His French remains 100% fluent (regional accent and all ) 20 years later.

Not exactly what you set out to look for, OP, but it might help - maybe you could come to some arrangement whereby French 'sibling' boards with your DS on the UK leg and lives with French family on the French leg, IYSWIM?

I also know of children who have been to Sauveterre. Those I know who chose it have been in the private system and doing well academically. They go in the Summer term of year 6 or year 8, after entrance exams are over and before moving to senior school. It is a quite different experience to being thrown into a normal French school and all have thrived and held on to their better-than-schoolboy French, thus giving them a headstart on languages so they take their GCSE early. Good luck with it and would love to hear how you get on.

I went abroad alone for school when I was 17. When I moved there I had a C at GCSE in the language and very quickly caught up. I am still fluent now. The OP's son will pick up French very quickly in this situation and there is no reason he wont remember it when he gets home especially if they holiday in French speaking countries.
OP I can't recommend any French schools, but might it be worth looking at French Canadian schools as I think the private / boarding system is more similar to the UK there. It might also be worth looking at one of the organisations who offer home stays to see if they can recommend a school. There was a thread about this a while ago. I will see if I can find it for you. The OP from that thread might be able to help you.

Try Ecole des Roches.

My DSSs both did half a term in English-speaking schools this summer - DSS2 in England, in a boarding school, and DSS1 in Australia, at day school and living with a family.

Both of them made massive progress in English but they are far from bilingual.

OP - I live in france and my DC are in mainstream French school (as opposed to a bilingual / private / hors contrat) school.

From an English perspective, I can totally see where you are coming from and it seems like a lovely, although slightly romantic idea (as not all kids are "sponges to language", which is one of those funny little things that people like to trot out and is sometimes very wide of the mark). I assume from your posts that your DS is in a boarding school in the UK and / or a very academically rigorous school. This probably seems like a super idea to accelerate his language skills and give him a fab life experience to boot.

But, coming at this from the French side, the previous posters are really making some salient points. The French school system is really very different. It's not about posh / not posh, down on indie education or any other preconception.

The truth is:

• boarding school in France is nothing like boarding school in the UK. Often (not always), it is for kids who are in "echec scolaire" and cannot make it through the normal system. It is a last resort for parents whose kids cannot survive academically in the mainstream system

OR kids whose parents live abraod OR in such an isolated part of the country, there is no other option.

• boarding school has very little (read: no) cachet in France. The best teachers and the best pupils stay in the mainstream state system in the top state schools.
• in the majority of schools (state, private, boarding), children are expected to do vast amounts of rote learning. This si because the French language with its verb conjugations requires learning by heart. In the UK, where rote learning is not necessary to learn how to speak / write excellent English, rote learning has gone out of fashion across the board, all subjects. Because French language learning demands rote learning, it remains a core learning method in most subjects and no-one questions it. It's a small point, but it illustrates vividly the massive cultural differences that exist within the education system. It will be very tough on a young boy to come for one term to a system which is so very different, and, as another poster pointed out, a system which is harsher and more old-fashioned.
• I would bet my bottom dollar that the Spanish pupils who come for one term to your son's school already have a pretty good level of English.
• French schools are very light on the fun stuff. My DD1 is not yet 4 and yet tells me that she has to do her "work" in silence, raise her hand to ask a question and the school day runs from 8.30 - 4.15. compare that with what 3 yos are doing in the UK. I hope my DDs will thrive, because we are here long term and they will hopefully benefit from the academic rigour, and not miss what they have never had (ie the fun and enjoyment of school in the UK)

You seem very defensive about your motivation for this exercise. And you do not seem open to the idea of a longer term exchange / summer camp scenario. I'm not sure why. But the advice you have received here is sound. It really is not as simple as you might like to imagine.

Agree that French boarding schools are nowhere like the traditional English model and more for 'problem' children. Having experienced the French education system myself I agree with previous posters that overall it is much stricter and inflexible with much rote learning and constant emphasis on Le Bac. Math in particular is highly theoretical -- it's only after I switched out of the French system that maths started to make sense. You do learn to write beautiful essays, but need sufficient language knowledge to do so.

Oh and French school grades are very harsh - scoring say 70% would be for a very talented child. If you're average you'll get around 50% - but then so does everyone else.

A family friend sent his three children, one at a time, around age 10, to spend a school term in France - it worked well for them but quite different setup. The father spoke French at home so the children were familiar with the language (though not fluent), AND the kids stayed with their grandparents the whole time. All 3 enjoyed it (after a first homesick month), their daughter loved it so much she insisted on staying the full year. They've kept much of the fluency and it really opened their outlook on life. A couple of the boarding schools mentioned (Sauveterre?) do sound more accommodating so that might be the way to go if you're determined to proceed.

I wouldn't recommend French Canadian if you're after the pure French accent as it's totally different. Also depending where in Quebec you go chances are the kids will all speak English as well.

No view on the rights and wrongs of spending a term in France but if you do it in his last term at prep won't he miss all the leaving activities they do together? Obviously if your ds's school goes up to 18 and pupils don't leave at 13 then ignore what I've said!

While I have many reservations about the French school system, I think a lot of posters on this thread are completely overlooking the fact that a normal French school won't/can't take the OP's son for a term. The kind of school that would/could will be fine.

Fair point, Bonsoir.
If you called my DD's school and made this request, they would be baffled.

I'd have been up for doing that age 12!