Private school vs state school - the two tribes

[UrbanDad]

I have been walking DCs to their (state) junior school and have noticed a marked difference in the two tribes on either side of the road (girls' independent and prep school on one side, state junior and comprehensive secondary on the other).

These two streams of humanity mark themselves out in the following way:

1. Private school kids hop out of SUVs, whereas there are scooters, bicycles and shanks' pony for the state school kids.
2. No dads or grannies taking private school kids to school - it's almost all mums and nannies.
3. Private school kids look like pack-horses with sports kit with hockey stick, racquet etc., school book bag and occasionally a monstrous musical instrument (sometimes several times the size of the child) whereas the state school kids carry a book bag or nothing at all.
4. Private school girls' skirts are so short they would not be acceptable in the state school (which is odd - there are no boys to impress at the private schools anyway - maybe a girly competitive thing?).
5. Immaculately coiffed hair is de rigeur for the girls' schools, although state school kids have more adventurous hairstyles (e.g. corn-braids, spiky hair).
6. Private school girls are much more diverse in height (some very little, some very tall), but state school kids seem to cluster around the mean.

Oh and urbandad, it was a serious question upthread. Do state schoolers not play sport or music in your area?

Have sent you a PM thirty

My DS1 is between the 91st and 98th centile for height so obviously I was obliged to send him to private school

1. Private school kids hop out of SUVs, whereas there are scooters, bicycles and shanks' pony for the state school kids.

Not at DD's private school - lots of children including DD walk or arrive by bus and of those who are driven lots get out of very normal looking cars.

1. No dads or grannies taking private school kids to school - it's almost all mums and nannies.

Mainly mums at DD's school and even a few nannies but certainly not exclusively. I've even seen grand dads at the school

1. Private school kids look like pack-horses with sports kit with hockey stick, racquet etc., school book bag and occasionally a monstrous musical instrument (sometimes several times the size of the child) whereas the state school kids carry a book bag or nothing at all.

True. DD is only in reception but through the week she usually has swimming stuff or ballet stuff as well as her book bag. Am terrified she'll take up the double bass and keep telling her what a lovely sound the flute makes

1. Private school girls' skirts are so short they would not be acceptable in the state school (which is odd - there are no boys to impress at the private schools anyway - maybe a girly competitive thing?).

Very strict rules that the skirts have to be just above the knees at DD's school - even notices reminding parents at the school uniform shop.

1. Immaculately coiffed hair is de rigeur for the girls' schools, although state school kids have more adventurous hairstyles (e.g. corn-braids, spiky hair).

You've not seen the girls at DD's school!!

1. Private school girls are much more diverse in height (some very little, some very tall), but state school kids seem to cluster around the mean.

Surely there are tall, medium and short pupils in all schools there certainly are at DDs

As a working Mum I am delighted to send DD off like a pack horse as it means that everything is happening at school - over 8 'extras' happening in the school day. At the end of the (slightly longer) day we come home, no other activites to go to.
Very strict rules on skirt length and a number are to the floor due to a large number of muslim girls in the school.
Uniform days yes hair is tie back neatly, non-uniform days the variation in styles is amazing.
What I have noticed regardless of whether it is a state or private school is that some schools breed a culture where children feel the need to conform to a set style and other schools breed a culture where individuality is the norm.

Well we had six fun posts before someone inevitably had to get serious....think that must be a mumsnet record. Here's what I've observed: primary level - private school kids seem really overdressed with blazers etc and loads of clobber generally, state school kids look much more carefree and scruffy (but mine were state so maybe I'm biassed!!) Secondary level - can't see a massive difference tbh, they all wear micro-skirts, loads of hair (boys and girls) and not a coat in sight!

Can you all imagine the fury and vitriol that would be directed at the OP if he were a public school dad making these comparisons?

UrbanDad,
Intersted in the mean height at your school, do you think it is a nutrition thing?
Skirts in our neck of the woods are a constant source of amazement at local comp
musical instruments are carried by all kids? Ds uses the same case to carry trumpet and running spikes and famously arrived at music exam with wrong contents!

Mean height? That's about 3 feet, isn't it? That's when they get really mean, regardless of educational establishment.......

Mind you, they are pretty mean at 5ft6 - particularly the girls........

stillfeel18 - I don't think taking the piss out of kids is ever going to be lighthearted is it?

definitely never lighthearted when it comes to the state/private issue, people too easily offended at what they see as an attack on their choice.

Then "people" should lighten up.

True. Even Little Miss Uptight here had to crack a smile at the OP.

CommanderCool - I'd forgotten the camouflage gear thing - either those kids are really, really shy and don't want to be seen or venture scouts just isn't hard-core enough for them.

On the huge musical instrument thing, I suspect that it's just part of the weight training thing to get them into the paras anyway.

The catchment area around the state school is microscopic whereas the private school is highly sought after, selective, academically-rigorous, prestigious, learning-focussed, helps gifted children attain their maximum potential (and so on...[yawn]) and kids who are both very intelligent and have well-heeled parents are quite thin on the ground, so parents herd their children there from miles away, hence the large motorised transport.

The parents of kids who play huge instruments have realised that it gives them a slight advantage when going for music scholarships for the next school.

Naturally parents will prefer small and neat instruments, but the schools don't want an orchestra consisting solely of violins and flutes.

We weren't that cynical when DS chose the tuba, but it did reconcile us to the first fews years of listening to him practice .

And finally, at the other private school in our town the girls wear ankle length kilts - and yes they do look different - and not in a good way!

My dds go to a prep school which I think would throw your observations upside down! We take the bus to school, and every other child is dropped off by their dad. Have to say I know nothing about the heights, they all look small and cute to me! With regards to hair, I assume it is because private schools are quite strict about haircuts rather than because the parents belong to a different 'tribe'.
And I am more than sure that if you stood outside the school gates at lunch time, you would find all the skirts have suddenly shot up! Once parents are gone, the roll up begins!

Went private defo agree with op about the short skirts. Even though there was a strict rule on skirts being on the knee it was never enforced. There was a correlation between the popular the girl was the shorter the skirt.

Clobber, YYYYYY tennis racket or hockey stick depending on term, the amount of p.e kit to last a week on holiday. Own clothes for after school rehersal and music lesson stuff. As well as the many folders for lessons. Mum used to joke I was a pack mual about to trek the himalayas.

Of course this was to be carted to and from school every day

Also there was a huge variation is height.

But both mums and dads dropped off and picked up depending on who was working

I think this varies a lot, depending on where you live. At a lot of state schools (seen this with SIL), there was a lot of "keeping up with the Jones's", and parents arriving via SUV at a not so nice school (the entrance is therefore grander), whereas at many of the girls' private schools in my area, there's not much parking, and they tend to be on small roads or main roads were parking is nigh impossible... so kids tend to arrive unceremoniously on the school bus.

IF state schools want to up their ratings, they should just get a uniform of stripey blazer for boys, and kilt skirts for girls...

Now isn't that the first thing the head does when the school becomes an Academy?

This thread is over two years old!

This made me smile - gosh some people are touchy.....

YYYY to the clobber - particularly at prep v state primary. Net bags - clothes, hockey sticks, trainers, astro boots, football boots etc plus cricket bags in summer, book bags, plus instruments of varying size. Local juniors - one rucksack.

YYYY to SUVs - generally large - parking a nightmare (most drive) we feel smug as walk - but the amount of kit does stop some walking relatively small distances....

YYYY to daft uniform at prep (berets and boaters and blazers over cricket whites in summer really is daft and i hated these trapping at first but have got used to it.) More variation in secondary round here.

Mixed bag in terms of who drops off - will also look out for the height thing!

We've done both state and private, have friends locally in both, so don't have an axe to grind either way.....From what I have seen locally, have no doubt that they are worked harder in the private system from an earlier age and have less free time....but that's part of the offering from the schools here....(pre secondary a mixed ability bunch in both state and independent locally)

Never noticed that! That's the trouble, once a thread gets resurrected you tend not to look at the date. I thought it was possibly a light hearted response to the thread about whether you would go to state school if you could afford private, which got to 1000 posts.

SC - hadn't noticed this was old - hey ho - mild diversion whilst cooking dinner!