PE teacher not behaving well

[onceamai]

DD started new school september. No PE for 1st 1/2 term due to break. Wrote to head explained probs, esp with carry bags, longer journey etc., included advice given by consultant. A few weeks into term PE teacher encourages dd to join in. Next week told to remove stud earrings (not doing PE). The next week to bring in PE kit to change (not doing PE). This teacher has also been very loud and over bearing with teh class and dd was scared of her after the first week. Did what parents were advised to do at induction and called the head of KS3 to discuss concerns. Did this very rationally and head of KS3 did not sound amused at what had been going on. DD comes home and tells me that PE teacher took her aside and told her she was disappointed in her for discussing the fact that she couldn't do PE with her rather than complaining to her mother. Advice about this please - I don't want to upset the school which we were very lucky to get a place at BUT I am not amused and very very disappointed.

Upset the school....upset upset upset. This sounds intimidating and bullying.

Call the head of KS3 again and explain that your daughter has been rebuked for confiding her worries in her mother.

It is policy at most schools to change and obey rules on jewellery, etc even if a child isn't taking part fully.

Not sure what you are disappointed with.

Furryungus. We were compliant with the published rules on jewellery (v tiny ear studs). child has a broken bone - don't want to be too specific in case we are identified but carrying school books difficult enough without carrying in sports bag. Wrote to the Head before day one to set out the health problem, advice given by the consultant, and asked if anything in my letter need clarification to be contacted by the school. I am upset because my child is not allowed at present to do PE but has been encouraged to do so in school uniform and I am very concerned that participation will be expected fully if she changes. Also she can't carry the extra bag because she can only properly use one arm. I spoke to the Head of KS3 who took on board my concerns. The PE teacher then took my child aside having already terrified her by constant shouting and told her she was disappointed in her. What exactly don't you understand about my disappointment?

Yes....colditz is right...only thing to do...and in writing!

I'm not sure I understand. Your daughter broke a bone so was not doing PE? Did the PE teacher know this - presumably yes? At ds's school he would still be expected to get changed for PE even if not taking part and would be given something to do - keep score or hand out tabards or something (obviously depending on the injury, not feasible if you are in a wheelchair). Is the PE teacher now claiming that she never knew dd wasn't supposed to be doing PE, in which case I can understand that she is upset you went to head of year? If she did know ddshould not do PE, why did dd not remind her of the fact or bring in a note from you? Is there more to this?

Slight x-post!

She won't have been encouraged to do full PE if she has an injury....just to get changed and do something (presumably she can stand there with a whistle, keep score or coach)....it really isn't unusual.

Perfectly natural for a teacher to question why a child cannot discuss something at KS3 age with a teacher.

Furry fungus and Ann H. I wrote a formal letter to the Head at the beginning of term to explain the situation including the fact that DD would have difficulties carrying her school bag alone. We are new to the school and my interpretation of no PE means NOT being encouraged to participate in ball games. Can you please explain why it is reasonable to expect a child with a broken bone and limited movement to carry and extra bag and struggle with buttons etc., when it is wholly unnecessary. If that is the rule all well and good but why isn't it included in the literature parents are sent. Why didn't the school to telephone to clarify upon receipt of my letter. I don't think it is reasonable for an 11 year old child to question the authority of a teacher - especially when that teacher has been shouting so much at the children for whom she is responsible that my daughter is already terrified. The fact that my daughter was asked to join in when in school uniform expressly opposed the consultants advice with which the school had been furnished. Are you saying that if a parent writes to the head teacher with such advice it is reasonable for the school to disregard it without recourse to the parent?

If you have a broken arm, you need help to dress and undress yourself. Not only are you one armed, you are carrying the weight of the cast and cannot carry anything at all in that hand. YOu cannot do up or undo your own bra.

have some empathy to the OP's daughter! She's being picked on, and no teacher should be expressing 'disappointment' that a child told their mum what was happening at school! What on EARTH message does that give?

OP - is the teacher's name Miss Renshaw by any chance (as I cannot imagine anyone has married the cow)

Sorry I misunderstood, I thought your child had been asked to get changed not made to do full PE. Apologies.

I was trying to explain that the procedure of limited participation is good.

Friends could easily help with the kit situation or if it is really impossible to do that, then she could still do something useful.

Colditz - no it isn't - but what does x post mean please?

It means someone has posted something similar or had something answered by the time they post.

It's ludicrous that any school would expect a child with a broken arm to undress and dress at PE time, awful that any teacher would ever say to a child that they are disappointed that that child confided in a parent......In this day and age I would think that sort of thing is in the teacher's handbook along with don't go into a cupboard alone with a child.

Furryfungus. Thanks - it wasn't full PE but it was joining in. I don't want to go into details but a slip or a whack could take this break back to square one. Oh never mind - it's a broken collar bone and if they put two and two together perhaps they'll understand how upset I am. But no cast - no protection and a ball in the shoulder, etc., is really not a good idea. I'm just really upset that in spite of trying to follow all the rules and all the published advice the teacher has had a "go" at my daughter who is by the way very very quiet and circumspect and would never ever question a teacher's understanding of anything.

You are upset because the teacher undermined your relationship with your child. I hope it sorts itself out and doesn't put her off sport for life.

I understand your frustration - but in a large school with hundreds of students, it would have been better to contact your dd's PE teacher directly rather than the head. Where I teach, contacting the Head about something like this would be a little pfb.

Have you actually met this evil teacher? Just because your dd is scared of her, doesn't mean she's evil, she deals with hundreds of students and I assume would treat them the same unless she has personally seen a note or spoken with you.

I do understand your daughter is upset, but did she speak initially to the PE teacher to explain why she was not doing PE? If I were that teacher I would certainly feel frustrated that the student had not spoken to me in the first instance.

... and may have said something afterwards like 'I wish you had explained the situation to me, I could have helped you better' which your dd may then have reported back to you as the teacher having a go at her.

(continued from my prev post in case of x- posts)

I doubt very much that the OP is cross that the teacher "undermined her relationship with her daughter" she sounds very secure in her relationship with her daughter and quite right too.

I expect she is cross because the child perceives that she has been told off for talking to her mum about something...it is never wrong to talk to your mum about anything and any teacher who thinks there is something wrong with that has something to hide.That is not to say that the parent shouldn't encourage the child to sort things out themselves etc .

In this case the child is 11 ,in a new and presumably much bigger school than she is used to and generally overawed ,in addition she has a painful injury to cope with ,what has happened to compassion.If I was that teacher I would be taking a hard look at myself and wondering wht I was so unapproachable that the child felt unable to explain the situation .

The PE teacher sounds like a power-hungry bitch

the head of KS3 sounds much more sensible, I would speak to her again and explain that the PE teacher reprimanded your dd for confiding in her mother

appalling, nasty behaviour

but one horrible teacher doesn't mean the school isn't as good as you thought it was, or that the culture there is going to be unpleasant - I would be really interested to know how the matter is resolved, though.

Fgs, give the poor PE teacher a chance. You really think she's a bitch for telling OP's daughter that she should have spoken to her about her concerns? The head of KS3 has possibly given the teacher an earful already, and she may not have known why your DD wasn't doing PE and was understandably frustrated at your DD's lack of communication.

The issue you have with the PE teacher is the convo she had with your daughter, which many posters seem to be assuming the version you are giving us straight from your DD is correct.

Isn't it more likely your DD was advised in future to talk in the first instance to her teacher?! Is that so hard to believe? If your DD finds this particular teacher scary (I'm sure some Y7 find me scary too!) then no matter if the teacher was speaking to her in kindness, that's not the story you'd get.

I worry sometimes as a ttc teacher, I really do.

Oozathon when the injury happened I telephoned the school for advice and was advised to write directly to the head. The letter was very nice and said please do contact me directly if there is any further info you or I need to know. Nobody contacted me and the consultant's advice and my concerns re carrying stuff to school were overruled without anyone picking up the phone. I don't know what the PE teacher was told - why should I - I just know that the matter has been handled very badly. Furthermore, at the induction meeting the KS3 teacher got on the stage and told all the parents present that if they had any concerns at all when their child was settling in, they should contact her directly in the first instance. The PE teacher has not complied with my reasonable requests and has terrified my daughter. That, I think, is good enough reason to follow the advice given by the school and to speak to the KS3 head. Why do you assume the version give by my daughter and I might be incorrect? All I have done is to follow the advice given by the school and my daughter has been hauled over the coals because of it. How is that right please?

Thank you Colditz, Woodentop, Toughasoldboots, etc.