Is it impossible to hold your child back a year in Primary School?????

[pinkflamingo]

Hi All.
Does anyone out there have any words of wisdom. My DS started reception when he was 4 years (26th August birthday). We didn't defer as we thought there was no point as he would go straight into Year 1 which contradicts the whole deferring principle.

DS has always been well behind the rest of the class and is on a development plan but has not got an SEN. Now in Year 2, he has shut down as he feels he is the most stupid person in the class, is now developing strange ocd tendencies habits and feel I am losing him. Previous to this he's been pretty happy. Have had a word with the teacher and they are working on building his confidence. However for the past year I've had meetings with the Headteacher requesting that he be kept back a year, but to no avail. Does anybody know where I can go further with it or I am barking up the wrong tree.

I'm finding the UK education system difficult to navigate as originally I'm from Ireland and if it was felt you would benefit from staying back a year in primary, you were allowed to, as I and all my siblings (7 of us) were all kept back a year in Primary and I really do feel it made a huge difference.
Any guidance much appreciated

And of course, many schools would not permit anyone into year 11 at all, anyway, the two I have were extremly fortunate to be allowed tostay in Ks4, most children held back a year would not do year 11

I don't know if I'm being thick about this, but I don't understand how giving people with children born in August (or July and August or june july august) flexibility works. Surely then you just get a situation where instead of having a year between the oldest and youngest you get 13/14/15 months which makes the situation worse. It's all very well offering people the choice but surely those that would exercise this choice would be the articulate and well-informed, while those without this benefit or new arrivals to the country would stick their August born child in when they were told to, thus the very people who might most benefit would be least likely to. Even if you make it on the say-so of an educational psychologist, who's most likely to access this?
I know the thought of putting a just 4 year old in school is scary, but it's not school in a formal sense, more like a continuation of nursery.
One caveat - I do think those born prematurely should go into the class of their adjusted age.
Anyway, would welcome being enlightened.
ps I have an August-born child so am not being smug mother of Autumn types

Sorry that sounded like I was unsympathetic to the OP which I'm not. Sounds very stressful for you and I hope you find a solution. I think the answer is for the school system to make more allowances and give more support to the very young, rather than make the cut-off a different one. As CustardCake v articulately says, there's a broad spectrum of abilities and readiness for all sorts of reasons.

Polly - it works like this in Scotland. Traditionally, March children have been the oldest and February children the youngest but nowadays Jan and Feb children can start a year later if their parents wish and more occasionally slightly older children.

The amount of parents opting for this varies from area to area. I did it for my oldest and it was the right decision for him. You are probably right in that those most informed about education are more likely to consider this option but not exclusively eg the headteacher of the state nursery which my oldest attended advised lots of parents to do this and this included a lot of parents who had not been educated in the UK and might not have understood their options.

It does not create any problems at all in school. Of course teachers are equipped to teach all children in front of them but that is not IMO a good reason to force some children to start school when they would benefit from another year at nursery.

The arguments about what happens at secondary level, or 17/18 seem very strange to me. Our deferred children just proceed with their year group and are not disadvantaged in any way.

"I know the thought of putting a just 4 year old in school is scary, but it's not school in a formal sense, more like a continuation of nursery." But then in Y1, 2, 3, as the academic stuff comes in they are still the youngest.

Glad to have found this thread, in RL when have mentioned my worries about this issue (dd2 end of august child) people have been really dismissive and judgmental, when the evidence is worrying.

People (including a few teachers at state and private schools have looked round) have said things like "for bright kids it's no problem", "I'd love mine to start earlier", "it'll only be an issue if YOU make it one", "worrying about it will affect her badly, just relax" and "keeping them back would be saying to your DD that you didn't think she is bright enough for the 'right' year"

we're considering private education (know we're v lucky to even be able to consider this), but even there not all schools are flexible, and if we started dd2 in reception at 5 instead of 4 and later needed to move back to the state system - or even to a private school that wasn't amenable - it'd be difficult and she'd probably have to skip a year to go back up to the "right" year.

I fully empathise with you. My son is an Aug 20 baby and is started age 4 and 2 weeks in reception. Although he seems to cope academically, emotionally and physically he is way younger. He was bullied for a while by an older kid in his class and emotionally found that hard. In addition, physically his motor skills are lagging behind and he's losing his confidence in sports as he's always last. I am looking into possibility of changing him to another school and holding him back s year at the new school. My son was also a few weeks premature and should have been born in September. Its heart breaking to see them suffer and the impact can be large emotionally. Might be easier to change schools rather than hold back in same school as friendships already developed etc. keep at it and press your case, as will I. Good luck.

When I was little,
Like I was 3 yrs old when I got held back in school and had to repeat PPCD or one of the school issues. I got good grade's! ❤😂

That's me now before I got held back was 16 yrs ago in 2001.

Worth is a struggle and keep yourself while doing things you know, like don't like math, then skip on it!

Original thread was in 2012. Things have gotten better. Look up parents of summer born children in facebook

ZOMBIE 2010 THREAD

Hi Pink flamingo et al.
I am in a very similar position. My son is an August baby at an independent school for the last 2 terms.
He is making some progress but it's not where he's meant to be. I've discussed it with the head about holding him back. I'm Irish also and it was no big thing to be held back there at all.
I am getting to grips with this UK system which seems really inflexible and almost forces children into a no win situation.
I'll be fighting this one for sure.

Request a referral to an Ed Psych to assess his needs and ask them if they would advise that he is kept back a year. However, it may not be possible in your area without an EHCP and you would have to apply for deferred transition to secondary in Year 5.

If not successful, then apply for an EHCP to stipulate what his needs are and how he needs to be supported to achieve his potential

It definitely is possible, A child in my DD Year 1 class was definitely in the year 1 class the previous year. I would try speaking with the Head and LEA again. This child was also an August birthday and had been struggling. Hope you can get a solution for your child. Good luck!

What's a EHCP?
I have emailed our local councils schools admissions today and heard back from one to say that there would be no problem with going from year 7 to year 8 if he is kept back.
I'm on a mission now.

We have an overly chatty 4 year old born late August so only just turned 4! We requested for his reception year to be held back to next September in the UK which actually wasn't that difficult because the head teacher of our preferred school agreed its fine to do that for a late summer baby. We have a place for him at a new pre school which he's just started but my worry now is his size, he is a tall boy he's always been big and he did look alot bigger than alot of the pre school children in the new group. I know they all catch up in size in the end and feel starting reception one later would suit his personality: appearing to be a follower at nursery and short concentration span which I think was all to with his age at the time (being 3 with a group of 4 almost 5 year olds) althiygh he's come on leaps and bounds the past month, I feel the extra year to mature will benefit him in the long run. But don't want him to be labelled big or much older all through his primary years and now considering a late entry into reception for this year which makes him the baby of the year again? Any thoughts, feed back

You can backclass with a but they will align them at some point so they willl skip a year otherwise you will be getting an extra year of education free which isn't fair on everyone else .

If you have an ehcp you could without this but it's still difficult !

Sorry for typos I'm doing this during morning family chaos!

@buttons123456 he's attending a small village school so it's never over subscribed so that's not really our worry, the head teacher wouldn't work with us and agree to something that would effect another child's place to be honest. It was more feed back from parents with late summer born children and if they did anything different and how the children got on.

@Happymamaoftwo you have replied to a 12-year-old thread - I would suggest you start a new thread, as the situation has changed since 2010, and there might also be some posters who reply to the original question rather than yours.

@LetItGoToRuin thank you! I hadn't noticed the date and will start a new thread, good idea :)