Is it impossible to hold your child back a year in Primary School?????

[pinkflamingo]

Hi All.
Does anyone out there have any words of wisdom. My DS started reception when he was 4 years (26th August birthday). We didn't defer as we thought there was no point as he would go straight into Year 1 which contradicts the whole deferring principle.

DS has always been well behind the rest of the class and is on a development plan but has not got an SEN. Now in Year 2, he has shut down as he feels he is the most stupid person in the class, is now developing strange ocd tendencies habits and feel I am losing him. Previous to this he's been pretty happy. Have had a word with the teacher and they are working on building his confidence. However for the past year I've had meetings with the Headteacher requesting that he be kept back a year, but to no avail. Does anybody know where I can go further with it or I am barking up the wrong tree.

I'm finding the UK education system difficult to navigate as originally I'm from Ireland and if it was felt you would benefit from staying back a year in primary, you were allowed to, as I and all my siblings (7 of us) were all kept back a year in Primary and I really do feel it made a huge difference.
Any guidance much appreciated

Clare40 - Entry to school (into a Year R class) can only happen when you are the 'right age' otherwise (if you wait a year) you will be (possibly) taking a place that a child of the 'right age' should have; this would make school admissions unworkable. If you are held back a year when you are 11, you will only be in Year 10 when you reach the school leaving age if 16 - who is going to fund the last year of your schooling, when technically (legally) you should have left?

2 children in DD's (small) school were held down last year and repeated Yr 2. This year 1 has moved straight up to Yr 4 - i.e rejoined his original year group, but with an extra year spent on the basics which has given him lots of extra confidence, and the other has stayed down a year into Yr 3. I'm not sure whether she'll have to skip a year later on - I guess it's possible. But the infant years are so important in laying the basics down and building confidence, that I can see an extra year on that can be of benefit, even if it means skipping a year of juniors. In DD's school it's easier because all classes are mixed year classes and they are not completely full.

sodacrystal, we make it work fine in Scotland .

Also, wrt the final year, the child would still have completed the same number of years of formal schooling, wouldn't they, so it's not a question of providing additional funding. There may be an issue wrt to an additional funded pre-school year, however. Here, the Jan/Feb birthdays can have additional funding, but it would only be granted to deferred Sept-Dec birthdays in exceptional circumstances.

I'm worried about this with DS1 (like yours a 26th August birthday). He may have struggled anyway, but has speech problems which seem to me to make things even trickier. he goes to nursery regularly, so is understanding how school works, but I fear how he will cope at school.

I've spoken to SaLTs about this. The are not optimistic about 'holding back' a year. They have, however, pointed out that we are under no legal obligation to send him to school until he is 5 (are they right?). Hence we could secure a place but, if he is struggling, find alternative means of educating him throughout Reception yr.

Personally, I'm not sure that's helpful, I'd rather 'wait and see', but am glad it seems to be an option.

I have spent ages looking on google for something that has effected me for the whole of my life and this is it.

Because of my birthdate I was kept back for a yeart at the end of junior school before I went up to secondary school in 1965. Have any of you realised the profound impact that this has on some children. I lost all my friends as they went off to secondary school and I had to start again at the age of 11 to find new friends. I was turned fro m being the youngest in my class and relatively hidden away to being the oldest child in school and was expected to be an "example to the other children" No help was given, I was just expected to live with it.

I now have various emotional and socialogical personality disorders that date back from this time. Please Think about the needs of the child.

I know of a child (summer birthday, SEN) who spent an extra Year in Reception, but then skipped Year 2 as he had caught up with his own year group by then. So it can be done.

But you were kept back a year at the end of primary school. There's a world of difference between that and doing it when a child has just turned six (as in the OP) or starting a just-turned-five year old in Reception rather than Year 1.

never said there was, didn't say anything about 5/6 year olds, but maybe they have problems too, who knows, does anyone ever ask? till later. I just put this message on here to give one side of a story.

just thought I'd relate something that happened to me rather than some imaginary child.

I didn't get the chance to skip a year and catch up, do all children get this chance. It happened to me cos they changed the academic year from one side of my birthday to the other. Nothing to do with my ability. Though my parents did get asked if they wanted to go ahead. I merely mention this as a word of caution. Make sure you tell the child what is going on and why.

Hi PinkFlamingo, your DS shares the same birthday as my DS although mine is now a strapping 13 year old.
My DS did go back a year in state school, he move from year 1, back to reception.
He was just not ready for formal learning and at that time the school recognised it and suggested the move to us.
He did later on turn out to be dyslexic, so being that bit older has been really good for him.
We did have a bit of a worrying time when it came to changing to secondary school, but again the school and borough supported us and he was able to stay in the year he was in.
I do know that our school has not moved anyone down since, even though several parents have requested it. There seems to have been a directive from the council not to move children out of year, as they are worried that parents may take legal action at a later date for their children not being taught effectivley with their peers!
I think it is a shame, as I know that it has allowed my DS to cope so much better, especially now he is at secondary school, as he is just a bit more mature (and larger in size).
I have seen other threads with parents asking the same thing and it seems not to happen in the state sector, the private sector is much more relaxed and I know several children who are out of year at private school.
Hope this is of some help.

Sodacrystal- Both my children study in a non british speaking school ,but started very young.The eldest had 2yrs in preschool and reception and yr 1 and my youngest never had the opportunity. The only reason they moved abroad was because my son was severely sick with chronic atopic excema where he was hospitised on a regular basis and when he went away his skin dramatically improved!!

He still has major scratching issues that he
on a regular basis and I think when they return to the UK they will both fair so much better going back a year.I do not think it is something one should disagree with because it is better for both my children who need a foundation in a British school and where their present teaching methods are different from how they would be taught in the UK.

The whole point is to do what is the best interest for the child emotionally and socially and who are in their comfort zone.If students are struggling and not progressing one of the major factors could well be going back a yr.It is common practise where we are and children thrive from it!!

My child is currently repeating year 6 at our request. I asked the head, the school asked county who agreed immediately. It was remarkably easy to everyone's surprise. Apparently in our area parental request carries a lot of weight.

It is making a huge difference to my child who will be 12 by a few days when going into year 7 next year.

It seems to vary by region. I guess we have been really lucky - although if it had not been possible we would have withdrawn to home educate as there is no way year 7 was appropriate this year.

Oh I hate this - it makes me hurt inside to hear of these little ones being dragged along, struggling emotionally or academically just to suit the system. I know a couple of Ds's 'young' school friends getting extra support with reading, but I think that they were just not ready to start school at just 4.

I would have preferred it if DS could have started reception a year late as I found him immature but starting straight in Y1, no, so we went with the flow. Now in Y1 I find he prefers to play with younger children and struggles a bit socially - despite being very sociable and not shy at all.

I went to school in Germany and had to repeat a year as a teenager because I had mainly boys on my mind - and I wasn't the only one. Had I been dragged along with my year group I probably would have fallen more and more behind and left school without qualification. I just can't see what's the big deal with chronological age here.

Hello all :)

I will be in the same boat with my 7 year old son in 2011 !

His Birthday is late August + we have been in the US for 6 years ...
The poor thing only started school last year at nearly 6 ,now he will have to go from being a 2nd grader to a year 4(shock)

I am hoping our primary school will be able to work with us ,as this is something I dread .
I don't want him missing those charming early years .

My son's reading level is way above his peers here ,but his writing and emotions +math will be behind I fear :(

I am glad to see it is not such an unusual situation ,the US is totally flexible when it comes to holding back -this will be new territory .

Very confused by all this, doesn't matter whether a child goes to school from age 4-16 or from age 5-17, same number of years same amount of funding fgs. My DD1 is currently re-doing A levels as she was very ill for most of her original 2 sixth form years. Had to have major surgery, lots of time off plus meds affected her energy levels. The upshot was that she only passed one of her 4 A levels. Started over at a 6th form college, retaking one of her original A levels and starting another 3 from scratch. She passed the retake ok and is now in her second year of the three "new" subjects. She will be 20 in April! And no questions about funding or whatever.

What I don't understand is why more local authorities don't have a staggered reception intake. All children with Sept - Dec birthdays start in the September and all children with January - August birthdays start in the January. It works very well in our school, which is now one of the top 100 primary schools in the UK.

DD has a July birthday and has performed above average throughout primary school. (Although perhaps it is because she is a girl, as I know that girls develop earlier than boys).

There is a lot of research showing being held back a year is detrimental. There are also huge differences between children in the same year group (even born o the same day). Our education system is basically not fit for the purpose. In real life you are expected to do what you can do, not based on the year you were born. This was the good idea behind "personalised learning" however we can;t afford it. So the answers are: home educate or make the best of a bad system.

For the OP find something (anything) your son is good at and make sure he does it and gets praised for it! Try to get him enjoy books, even if he can't read. Get the school to help him as much as they can, and do concentrate on social skills.

There is a huge chance to make up for lost time later, don't let education become a treadmill.

doley, if integrating your son into the school system here is such a big worry, then perhaps it's worth considering home educating your son for a year or two upon your return?

That gives him a chance to work at his own rate without being labelled "behind." With one-to-one teaching from you, he should make faster progress than he would in a class of dozens... and he'd still have plenty of time to play!

Saracen ,Thank you :)

I don't think homeschooling would work for our particular situation ,he loves school and is quite sociable .

I also have a little girl (just 2 ) I can see it getting very busy at home lol !

It is a good idea though ,I think (perhaps) that if things become very difficult I would go down that road ,no matter how challenging :)

Yes, it's worth having in mind as a backup plan. You might be surprised at what a good social life many home educated children have!

That was actually one of the reasons I didn't send my daughter to school at four: I knew she'd be in constant trouble at school for chatting and singing when she was supposed to be doing other things. She'd just rather play with other kids all day long. She tried school for a bit when she was nine, and found it stopped her from spending as much time with friends as she was used to. Breaktime, lunchtime and a couple of hours after school just didn't cut it compared to all-day playdates.

Anyway, I hope everything works out well for your family on your return!

Thanks again Saracen for sharing your experience :)

It is very helpful ...especially when stuck 'over the pond '

another one here just wanting to offer my sympathy and support. School backed my decision to defer my 21st-born late-talking son's start in reception until he was 5.0 rather than 4.0 to the hilt, and we all agree it has transformed his life chances. The longer your situation goes on, the more complicated this is going to get. If you can start private school next year, I'd make the decision sooner rather than later... or move to Scotland. Or give up and concentrate on being very patient and positive and helping him catch up slowly (a poor substitute for giving him the start you want him to have, I know).

Btw, if anyone is in Bradford: policy now is to force children into Year 1 unless they have special needs. If you can get a speech therapist or paed. to back you, however, you can still year-defer and then offset throughout your child's school career. If your child is 3, now is the time to get the NHS backing you need. The NHS paeds. and therapists in the area are very much in favour of year-deferment for the "right" child.

I was wondering if anyone could help me regarding parents rights in holding a child back a year at school.
My son is now 4 but is an August baby and very immature for his age, he is fairly bright and is further forward than my November born son was at the same age (but he was still in nursery at the same age), the only thing is he has very limited concentration and cannot sit still for long periods he also struggles to dress himself and we still have toilet training issues, his social skills are still very immature and he struggles to make friends due to being a bit too toddler like. To be honest allo he wants to do is play not sit and write, read and listen to long assemblys! He started in reception class last September and although he enjoys it I feel that he would benefit from still being in nursery and would be better suited to starting school properly this September.

He has already been put on an induvidual learning plan and I am really worried that he is going to spend his whole life being forced to be older than he is and am seriously concerned it is going to have a detremental effect on him and his education.

If anyone has any advice on where to go to for advice I would greatly appreciate it.

Just be very careful. You are entitled to a certain number of years free education, but no more. If a child repeats a year at primary, he/she will get a year less at secondary. Every year we turn students away because they are too old for school. We always get arguements such as "well, he had to repeat a year when he was younger" - totally irrelevant. You can go on into post 16 (apprenticeships, a levels, btecs,vocational training such as hair dressing etc) when you are 17 and 18 ONLY. If you have repeated a year, you finish year 11 at 17, not 16, and so your options then are SEVERLY limited. Of course this does not apply in private schools, you can pay to do the extra year. I have 2 students in my tutorgrouyp at present, who want to stay for a second year at post 16, to get the qualifications to apply for a foundation degree, both families have had difficulty understanding that their DDs are simply too old. Both will leave in July, if they want to do the second year, they will need to apply to a private school and pay,although their chances of being accepted are very small.