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Original poster

since when did children attend parents' evenings?

40 replies

mrsshackleton · 04/10/2010 17:54

I've just been asked to sign up for a slot for the parent/teacher consultations for dd1 who's in year one. I've been told she should attend too

Why? There are things I want to discuss about dd1 that I certainly don't want to say in her hearing. Does this mean I make another appointment with the time-poor teacher to discuss them? It seems Hmm to me

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 04/10/2010 17:57

Why can't teachers speak of your child's development in front of her?

Seems bizarre for her not to be there.

Bonsoir · 04/10/2010 17:57

I think it's great - I love it when teachers do this. It's the most effective way I have come across of ensuring all parties are aligned on expected outcomes.

FabIsGettingOnWithLife · 04/10/2010 17:59

We have to take ours with us but they sit outside the room and read a book. Some parents take their kids, some don't.

Talker2010 · 04/10/2010 18:48

Secondary have been doing this for 20+ years

We took ours from about Y4 or 5 ... before this I think you may want to talk about your child in a manner that may not need to be shared with them

Examples might be

Confidence issues
Friend issues
Issues that may undermine progress

pooka · 04/10/2010 18:51

No way would I want dd (year 3) or ds1 (reception) at parents' evening.

There are things I might want to talk about without them hearing.

DarciesmumandTTC2 · 04/10/2010 18:52

We take our DD but she sits in the library with her TA reading a book.

RobynLou · 04/10/2010 18:53

I went with my parents to parent's evenings - I'm 29....

Original poster
mrsshackleton · 04/10/2010 18:55

As Talker says

dd1 has many confidence and friends issues. I don't want to discuss her shyness etc in front of her, it seems entirely counterproductive

OP posts:
Original poster
mrsshackleton · 04/10/2010 18:56

BTW, am older than 29 {grin] and left school more than 20 years ago so it's all new to me

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 04/10/2010 18:58

It would be ideal to discuss those very issues with her present - otherwise she may get the message she has no control over her development.

lazycow007 · 04/10/2010 19:03

My DD is now in year 2 but at a parent/teacher consultation evening last year i had to bring her as no babysitters available. i told her to sit quietly on a chair with her book but she came over to see me a few minutes later. Her teacher actually said to her that she had to go back and sit down as this was mummy/teacher time. I was a bit surprised but not bothered either way.

Have not heard this is the norm though in schools - we do go to an independant one though so maybe we do things different.

ragged · 04/10/2010 19:05

Confused, DC have attended plenty with me. Why not?

piscesmoon · 04/10/2010 19:12

I wouldn't at that age-you simply can't be candid. I made mine go once they were in year 9.

inthesticks · 04/10/2010 19:13

This was introduced when mine were at primary and a new head teacher brought it in. It grossly inhibited the discussion IMO.
No criticism just lots of praise and haven't you worked hard juniorsticks. Not very constructive when the discussion is at a level to be understood by a 6 year old.

At secondary level it is different. I get to hugely embarrass my DSs with my forthright discussions with his teachers.Grin

Greensleeves · 04/10/2010 19:14

I never take mine

I have things I want to say and query that they should not be privy to

IMO parents' evening is a chance for the adults to talk

Laquitar · 04/10/2010 19:18

I prefer not to take them with me.

If we have to discuss something like the examples Talker has given it could have a negative effect. In the same way that i dont like parents' chatting like this: 'he is fussy eater', 'she is shy' etc. in front of the children.

notagrannyyet · 04/10/2010 19:26

At primary they usually went with us but sat in the library, played on the computers,or made things out of lego. When they were older they often played outside while we looked through their work and chated with the teacher. But everything was much easier at primary school because teachers didn't mind you just popping in after school if you had any concerns.

At secondary we always took/take DC along to hear what the teachers have to say. We try and make sure other DC don't tag along. At this age it's sometimes better if brothers and sisters aren't listening in.

Original poster
mrsshackleton · 04/10/2010 19:32

Secondary I understand
Primary, esp ks1 I think is insane
Dd1 is staying home Grin

OP posts:
ragged · 04/10/2010 19:33

Meh, I haven't much choice. Much easier to do PE in the afternoon session when DH is at work so DC have to come with me (evenings get so busy for us). They never tell me anything at PEves that I didn't know already, anyway.

PixieOnaLeaf · 04/10/2010 19:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BertieBotts · 04/10/2010 19:35

I changed schools during primary, first school it was parents only and secondary school children attended. You had a slot with the parents and children and then the children could go off to the library or computer room to play games with their friends etc.

Seemed to work well to me. I was a lot older when I moved schools though so not sure about KS1 children.

BertieBotts · 04/10/2010 19:36

Actually thinking about it, the second school I went to had a much higher proportion of single parents, so perhaps it was a childcare issue.

Fennel · 04/10/2010 19:38

I take mine cos the school encourages it, but I send them out for the last bit if there are issues I want to talk to the teacher about without them there (which there usually are). It works fine, the dds prime me on things they would like me to bring up with the teacher, and I act as a sort of mediator for things they would find hard to say themselves.

DuelingFanjo · 04/10/2010 19:39

I used to go with my parents. Is it unusual?

Greensleeves · 04/10/2010 19:48

anyway if we took ds1 nobody else would get a word in edgeways, the slots are only ten minutes and that is about the average length of one of his sentences