Am I right to be miffed that my daughter has been asked to remove friendship bracelets in senior school?

[chocolatespiders]

Thats it really she has worn them for 2 years and loves them they are part of her individuality.
They are made of thread and are covered by her school cardigan and blazer so they are not on show as part of her uniform, during PE she wears a tubi grip bandage on them to prevent any health and safety issues.
Today during a uniform check today she was asked to roll up her sleeves so the person checking saw them and she was told she needs to cut them off
She was then told the only students allowed to wear then are Sikhs.

I am just not sure how i feel about this, she really doesnt want to removed them but i dont want her to be sent to exclusion because of them!!!

Would a sikh not be allowed to wear the thread that their brother/sister gives on vaisaikih? I thought they were supposed to wear it until it falls off naturally? Kara is different.

Why do they make them roll their sleeves up? Actively seeking out stuff to discipline kids for seems pretty harsh to me. And a waste of learning time.

But would agree with the elastic thing, and would explain it is to allow her to put them on or off at night. If she chooses to wear them at school and roll them up her arm during an inspection she shouldnt tell you about it .

Warning this could offend.....

Sorry but I think that part of society's problem is that we no longer learn respect at school. IMO Children should be encouraged by parents to follow school rules not to find ways of breaking them.

Most jewellery is pretty harmless BUT if you've made a choice to send your child to a particular school then, unfortunately, you are bound by their rules and codes of conduct.

I think its important to remember that your daughter is no less of an individual because the school disallows certain 'expressions' of this; she is learning to understand the difference between what is appropriate to particular situations. Its not necessarily about whether it will affect her work or not - and I very much doubt the school would suggest this anyway. I don't see where I work as a suitable place to exert my individuality - and apart from anything else there are professional boundaries which prevent this - but on evenings, weekends and holidays I am 'free' to do just this.

Actually, maybe the best course of action would be to encourage your daughter to challenge the rules, politely and in an appropriate forum. I think that would be as valuable a lesson as just accepting to follow them.

Doe she lack so much personality that the only way she can express herself is through friendship bracelets?

My DD wears a lot of these type friendship bracelets and you can't hide them up your sleeve. Sleeves ride up when you lift your arm up so they would be easy to spot. They do look really scruffy.

DD2 wears a ridiculous amount of scruffy friendship bracelets along with a collection of festival wristbands as well - I often ask her can she life her wrist with the weight of junk round it - but she is in the sixth form so its allowed.

When she was in the main school she didn't wear them although I think probably lots and lots of girls did hence the rolling up of sleeves check. Its just a fashion and in fact the opposite of individuality so hardly worth causing a fuss over.

'Its just a fashion and in fact the opposite of individuality so hardly worth causing a fuss over.'

an excellent point well made! so much of what passes for 'individual expression' these days is, in fact, what some fashion expert somewhere has decided the kids will wear. Had this very discussion with some of my A level students a few months ago - they were shocked by the extent to which they were manipulated by a combination of mass media and peer pressure. Perhaps you should have a discussion with your DD about individuality and what it really means

I would say to my dd: 'Oh did really make you roll up your sleeve, my goodness me, that is a bit OTT, oh well, we'll have to think of a way for you to take these bracelets off before school without damaging them, because I really don't think it's worth making a fuss about.' Thus sooting upset feelings whilst making it clear that I was not encouraging outright rebellion.

Though out of interest- how does she wash them if they can't be taken off? If she is wearing 2year old unwashed bracelets, then quite frankly I can see why the school is not overenthused. Thread soaks up sweat and grease and dirt.

Though presumeably they will have been in the bath/shower with her every time, and will have got a bit of a wash that way.

I think there are very few really individual ways of dressing when it comes to teens, they just conform to whatever group there in and they all have their own "uniform".

I think you need to pick your battes with the school. This sounds like such a silly thing to make an issue about (sorry!). I'd ask her to take it off.

All this they need to learn to obey dress codes in preparation for work,doesn't really make sense if they go to sixth form and uni ,where they can wear what the hell they want for a few years

Some really good points thanks all for taking the time to respond...

We are going to find a way to make them removable- great idea thankyou

I can accept the rules and the need to take them off for school but i am still annoyed about the rolling up sleeves to elbows during a uniform check concentration style!!!

Yes sorry to say that they have- would like to know who thinks these things up!!!!!

So the rolling up of the sleeves may be because of the shag bands circling round the school, I havent actually seen anyone wearing one though.

Just been looking at the Links of london friendship bracelets which are removable but lots and lots of money (it is her birthday next month )
ebay also have cheap copies from Hong Kong they are not really like friendship bracelets as we know them.

What on earth are shag bands??

google jewelerry supplies and get some clasp thingy. Wnaky rule but 'spose rules are rules. It's the fact they can't draw the line then - one bracelet fine, but then they couldn't stop someone wearing an armful etc. etc.

'Shag bands'

classy. and thus the sexualisation of teens continues apace. who thinks up this stuff in the first place????!!!

(wanders off shaking head in disbelief....)

OH MY GOD

If one pupil is allowed to flaunt the uniform rules what credibility is there for any teacher trying to get someone else to comply? Many school rules are based on traditions that may seem pointless, but the undermining purpose is to teach children that their are rules in life that have to be obeyed whether you agree with them or not. Maybe if there was more consistent support for this idea teachers could get on with teaching rather than wasting valuable lesson time reminding people how to dress themselves....