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Original poster

5 yr old "bored" in school

29 replies

thisisyesterday · 27/09/2010 09:52

ds1 keeps telling me he hates school. when asked why he just says it's boring. he doesn't like doing the work, the work is boring

he has just gone into yr1 and i realise it's a big change for them from the play-based environment of reception

but it makes me sad. i used to hate school too for the exact same reason. i don't know what to do about it though

OP posts:

Algebra18MinusPiEquals16 · 27/09/2010 09:55

oh dear :(

why is he bored? is the work too easy, or too difficult?

Original poster

thisisyesterday · 27/09/2010 09:58

i don't know to be honest, he just says it's boring
i asked if there is anythting he likes doing and he said when the teacher tells him he can play with something

i asked if any of the work he did was interesting and he said no.

i can't work out if he genuinely is really bored there or if it's just one of those things kids say.
of course my own experience makes me biased, as I say, I too found school mind-numbingly boring and hated it the whole time

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Wheelybug · 27/09/2010 10:00

I am having the same with dd1 TIY !! As far as I can tell its the change from play to sitting down working. I'm quite surprised as to how big the difference is - When I have been in school helping out they are always sat down with their exercise books. She's quite academic as well and, AFAIK, not struggling with the work.

DD used to skip in to school without a backward glance last year and now I have to pull her off me. Apparently she's fine once I've gone.

Not much help really as I don't know what to do about it either !!

Hullygully · 27/09/2010 10:00

My dd is the same (now yr 8). She has always said school is like prison. It just doesn't suit all kids. Dd isn't unhappy, but she would rather do her own thing, she prefers to stay home and read all day, which isn't terribly practical.

Hullygully · 27/09/2010 10:00

Sorry, no help either!

Original poster

thisisyesterday · 27/09/2010 10:02

maybe just a YR1 thing then wheely?

ds1 has never really loved school, but he was always ok about going in, and has never said he hated it or it was boring until now

the thing is we really ummed and ahhed over home schooling him, and this is making me rethink whether or not school is the right place for him
that said, i don't want to pull him out over something that might sort itself out in a few months.

OP posts:

Wheelybug · 27/09/2010 10:02

Also, I think DD1 seems upset that dd2 is at home 'having fun' and 'watching television all the time' (she isn't btw !!) and 'can choose whatever she wants to wear' (DD1 loves clothes!).

So, I think there is an element of dd2 having got old enough to be playing etc which she wasn't before. Obv that's a bit different for your DS1 but maybe he sees both DS2 and 3 having fun together (in his mind) whilst he's stuck at school .

Original poster

thisisyesterday · 27/09/2010 10:03

hully- your dd sounds just like me as a kid!

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Original poster

thisisyesterday · 27/09/2010 10:05

yeah we've had the "but it isn't fair ds2 and ds3 get to stay at home with you all day" a few times now

OP posts:

Wheelybug · 27/09/2010 10:06

I think, from talking to other parents, it is quite a common year 1 thing.

Algebra18MinusPiEquals16 · 27/09/2010 10:25

it probably is just due to the sudden stopping of yrR-style learning through play. maybe it'd be better if it were a gradual transition? not sure how that'd work though.

if you think back to your own boredom at school, can you think of why you were so bored?

FWIW I'm very pro-HE, IMO it's no bad thing if you end up taking him out. school isn't right for everyone. we've reluctantly decided to send DD to school as she's flourishing in nursery, but would HE if there was a problem. like you though, we would make sure she gave school a decent go first.

Madsometimes · 27/09/2010 12:25

My dd1 was devastated when she moved into Y1. A TA used to have to peel her off me because she hated school. We did not have any problems in nursery or reception.

She hated the fact that they were expected to sit at their tables and work for most of the day. In reception, they did not even have tables, activities were laid out around the room and children would travel round doing different things.

Other children spoke of how frustrating it was when they could hear reception playing in the next room and they had to sit down and work. I know that Y1 is not supposed to be structured in this way any more, but it is how it was for my children. Dd2 actually quite liked the structure of Y1. Her social skills are poor, and so doing book work was less stressful than the group work that was common in reception.

Original poster

thisisyesterday · 27/09/2010 13:56

i think i just didn't find any of the work we were given particularly inspiring.
i did it because i had to, not because i enjoyed it or was interested in it.

there were things i did like doing. being in the christmas play, writing stories, researching my OWN project once (which i decided to do on frogs), anything creative.

but anything work-based- science, maths, projects we were forced to do just didn't do it for me
i can remember begging my mum not to make me go to school and my only reason being "because it's boring" lol

OP posts:

Original poster

thisisyesterday · 27/09/2010 13:57

see i think this is exactly it. it's the sitting round doing work when they've been used to doing what they want basically.

that said, there must be ways of capturing their attention and making this work fun??

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cory · 27/09/2010 15:28

From what I remember of my own children at this age, "boring" often didn't mean what I would understand by boring. As often as not it meant "difficult", or "requiring concentration", or, "I am not sure I understand what teacher wants" or "I would rather stay at home and watch telly". Until they get to an age where boring means, "an expression I need to use about all adult initiatives for the sake of my street cred" (yes, I have a pre-teen).

So I would probe a little further to find out what he actually did mean.

Algebra18MinusPiEquals16 · 27/09/2010 16:07

agree with cory - I was thinking over this earlier, and IME (particularly with my DSDs) the word 'boring' is often used as a catch-all for something they can't, or don't want to, tell you. not to worry you unduly but it is worth finding out if there's any other issue like not liking the teacher or having trouble making friends.

Original poster

thisisyesterday · 27/09/2010 16:11

yeah, he is fairly reticent when it comes to school so hard to find out if anything else is going on

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themildmanneredjanitor · 27/09/2010 16:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

thisisyesterday · 27/09/2010 16:47

i'm not sure there are any like that round here TMMJ, how would i find out?

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seeker · 27/09/2010 17:20

For most children "boring" can mean anything from "too difficult" to "Not what I want to do at that precise moment" to "too easy" to "a subject which doesn't interest me as much as the one I was doing in the morning" Don't take it literally - try and find out either from him or his teacher exactly what he's doing. You may find he's full of enthusiasm actually in school, and the "everything at school is boring" is just a way of saying that he misses you, and would really rather be at home sometimes.

futurity · 27/09/2010 17:23

sorry not read all the thread but DS2 is saying the same stuff having just gone into year 1. It is the change from reception in his case which he LOVED with all the playing...year 1 is a bit too much like hard work! Not helped by the fact he seems to have been catching every cold going since he went back!

Saracen · 27/09/2010 23:03

"i can't work out if he genuinely is really bored there or if it's just one of those things kids say."

As others have pointed out, it's hard to tell what your son means by saying that he is bored, and whether he is as unhappy as you were at school. It's hard to know whether the problem might sort itself out in time.

But whatever the reason, it does seem clear that he doesn't want to be there right now. Isn't that enough? Why not offer to take him out of school for a while and see what happens?

Perhaps your little boy won't like home education after all, in which case he can simply return to school and at least both of you will know that school IS what he needs. Once back at school he might even stop complaining, because he'll know the grass isn't greener on the other side of the school fence.

Perhaps you and he both will love home education and you'll never look back. You won't have wasted a lot of time waiting to see whether things will get better at school.

A day, a month, a year is a long time for a five year old who wants to be with mum, or wants to play, or wants to choose what he learns about. Why make him wait any longer?

Original poster

thisisyesterday · 28/09/2010 09:48

you make it sound so simple saracen!

i guess what is holding me back is the thought that taking him out would be hugely disruptive. for both of us!
if actually it is the place for him then going in and out could be stressful? what if we decide we do want him in school and there is no longer a place for him?
what if he LOVES being at home but i am shit at HE him?
to a lesser degree, but still playing on my mind, is what othjer people would think and say if i took him out and then "failed" at HE and had to put him back into the system.
that shouldn't be a consideration but it still worries me

i just don't know what to do! i guess a talk with dp about it tonight is in order

OP posts:

seeker · 28/09/2010 10:56

Whatever you do, don't make a decision based on a 5 year old saying he is "bored". For some it's just something they say - they can't really grasp the concept. My 6 year old neighbour said this morning that everything she found on the Internet on her search for dinosaur information was "boring". Further questioning revealed that what she meant was that some was too difficult for her to read, some was in black and white when she wanted colour, and what she had wanted to find out was how pterodactyls fly and she hadn't known how to google the right question.

My ds sometimes says things are "boring' when he means he has to wait his turn.

proudnglad · 28/09/2010 11:02

What seeker said.

You need to talk to him more about this - not directly obviously, just leading questions and discussions about school, learning, friends.

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