Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Original poster

What are the options?

16 replies

Notyetamummy · 09/09/2010 14:10

My brother is 19, nearly 20.

He did OK in his GCSEs. Got 5 a-c grades. He then spent two years in sixth form but failed his A-levels.

He has spent the last year doing a college course in mechanics and did OK in this, but can't get a job in mechanics as he has done done an apprentice and can't get one.

He is now unemployed and claiming JSA.

What are his options?

He currently lives at home with mum and doesn't get out much. He has never done a job before.

He does not drive and lives in an area with bad public transport.

I think he is getting depressed being at home. I think he has made some bad choices in life and is now a little stuck. Please help.

OP posts:
senua · 09/09/2010 14:42

He is about to be aged-out, but has he spoken to Connexions?

scurryfunge · 09/09/2010 14:45

Perhaps he should think further afield for a job and not limit himself to his area. I realise that is going to cost more money if he has to live elsewhere but perhaps he can rent a room from someone.

He should also not limit himself to mechanic jobs and accept anything that will pay him and give him some self esteem back.

I'd be tempted at that age to go abroad and find some holiday jobs that gives him great experience for a few months.

slug · 09/09/2010 14:58

Failing that, Access courses are specifically designed for post 20 year olds who have not had a typical edication experience and want a route into university. However, given his background, I'd question whether or not yet another bout of education is really what he wants or needs at the moment.

First things first. Get a driver's licence. Even if he has no car, a licence expands his options. After that, volunteering gets him out of the house and gives him something to put on his CV.

Original poster
Notyetamummy · 09/09/2010 15:32

Thank you for your advice, I will pass it all on.

Unfortunately he seems to like to blame his circumstances for not being able to get a job rather than doing everything he can to get one.

We have suggested moving elsewhere but he is very much against the idea. He will not go abroad.

We have suggested volunteering but he seems to think that if he does a volunteer job that he won't be entitled to JSA anymore - does anyone know if that's true?

I'll suggest Connexions.

He spends a lot of time complaining but then rejects any suggestions. I really don't understand him.

OP posts:
cumbria81 · 09/09/2010 15:34

He could learn to drive? That would open up his options.

Original poster
Notyetamummy · 09/09/2010 15:38

He has his provisional driving licence but can't afford driving lessons or a car.

OP posts:
slug · 09/09/2010 15:57

He can volunteer for up to (I think) 16 hours per week without affecting his JSA. Seriously though, it's worth considering as he's on the spot and already known if a paying position comes up.

Can one of the family teach him to drive?

LIZS · 09/09/2010 16:01

Presumably transport isn't so bad he can't sign on Hmm or perhaps he could get a bike. He needs to accept that working isn't going to be convenient or necessarily pay well to begin with and apply for any entry level work. Has he got Maths and English at reasonable grades? IT skills ?

Original poster
Notyetamummy · 09/09/2010 17:07

In theory he has IT skills - he did IT ASlevel, but failed it and doesn't seem to know what I'm talking about if I say something about the computer.

He got maths grade D and English Language grade C at GCSE. Did English Language A-level but failed it.

He can walk one mile across a field and catch the earliest bus which would get him into a small town (not many jobs) by 9am. He couldn't get to a bigger town until 9.30am at the earliest. Mum often goes to the bigger town but is sometimes based elsewhere so he couldn't rely on lifts.

I would happily teach him to drive and I'm sure Mum would too but neither of us can pay to add him to our insurance. It's all a bit annoying.

I really think that he needs to move. Me and my DH have even offered him our spare room until he finds a place of his own, but he's not interested. We live in a city.

I think that volunteer work may be the way forward.

Mum is really struggling to support him at the moment.

OP posts:
LIZS · 09/09/2010 17:15

Can he resit the gcses especially Maths? It isn't hard to see why he may have struggled academically since :( Sorry but he really needs to take the initiative now, perhaps get better grades to show he is willing to get on. Can he revisit his college and speak to their careers adviser again.

Original poster
Notyetamummy · 12/09/2010 21:45

Oh dear,

saw my bro this weekend. He hasn't even applied for JSA yet - his college course finished at the beginning of June! He has had not money coming in since then and is purely living off my mum who is really struggling.

Says he'll do it eventually.

I give up!

OP posts:
swill72 · 13/09/2010 00:01

Why's your mum still supporting him? He's 19 years old, not 12! She really needs to toughen up - it will do him good in the long run.

Jajas · 13/09/2010 00:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Notyetamummy · 13/09/2010 14:55

swill72 - My mum is still supporting him as, without her he would have literally nothing. Having not even bothered to get off his lazy backside to go and claim JSA he has absolutely no money and although in theory Mum could chuck him out she never would.

I've tried talking to mum but she says she can't make him do anything. She is having health problems at the minute and was made redundant last week so her mind is elsewhere.

He looked through the paper for jobs and said that there weren't any. So I looked through and found 5 - cleaning/Argos/Petrol station etc. but he says that if he starts one of those jobs he'll be stuck in a 'boring dead-end' job for the rest of his life. I suggested that if he has an idea what he wants to do as a career in the future (he doesn't want to do mechanics) then he could maybe go to college in the evening. He said that he doesn't know what he wants to do and couldn't get home after evening classes anyway.

He won't come and live with me and DH - I reckon it's because we'd wake him up in the morning and nag encourage him to get out and look for a job everyday.

I feel like I should give up but he's such a burden on Mum. She is too ill to do heavy cleaning and he doesn't even wash up his dishes never mind help with anything else.

I don't suppose anyone can help - this seems to have turned into a rant, sorry.

OP posts:
gingeroots · 13/09/2010 19:27

Sympathies - must be so hard for all of you .
Not easy being young and unemployed .
I'm sure he's not alone .
Please keep trying to help - I'm sure he needs it and the longer he stays the way he is ,the harder it will be to get out of the rut .

LIZS · 13/09/2010 20:23

Would he sign up for an e-learning based course or ECDL which he could do at a college but on a drop-in basis and practice at home in between ? At least then he could do data input or work in an office while considering his options.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page