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Original poster

Starting playgroup but never been to nursery, will she be a leg grabber??!!

43 replies

oliveoil · 31/08/2005 15:46

Dd1 starts playgroup on Monday and I am worrying how she will be. She has never been to nursery as MIL has her when I work so has never been left 'alone' so to speak.

When we go to the toddler group she is always near me and doesn't really go off on her own.

Anyone else got a big softie and how did it go?

Help!

OP posts:
Enid · 06/09/2005 12:03

I have this on Thursday. Shes nearly 3 and always been looked after at home - but is quite outgoing and sociable. I will cry I know I will. Glad to hear it went well in the end oo -keep us posted!

mummylonglegs · 06/09/2005 13:25

I'm so glad I found this thread. My little one's 3 in October and starts playgroup next Monday, 5 mornings a week. I'm dreading it as she's been with me up until now ...

compo · 06/09/2005 13:27

glad it all went well OO - how old is she btw?

northerner · 06/09/2005 13:28

Glad her first day went well. Try and check in again this week. I'm off next week as I'm moving.

xx

BigBumpBonnie · 06/09/2005 13:40

How old is she oliveoil? Took my dd to preschool yesterday and she went in fine and kissed me goodbye (we had also been preparing her all summer and she also has never been left anywhere before). I went home and about an hour and a half later, got a phone call saying she was really upset and they couldn't console her. She just kept asking for mummy, and could I go and get her. When I got there all her eyes were puffy where she had been crying so hard, so I've decided to delay things for a while until she's a bit older. She's 2 yrs 3 months.

mummylonglegs · 06/09/2005 14:38

Oh dear, BBB, that's a sad story. I really hope that doesn't happen with my dd! Did you think about doing a bit of a 'settling in' period with her?

BigBumpBonnie · 06/09/2005 16:51

i did think of staying for a bit but it wasn't encouraged. They said she would think of it like a 'mum and tots group' if I stayed and get used to the idea that i'd always stay. It's so hard to know what to do for the best, I do hope your dd settles in better!

mummylonglegs · 06/09/2005 19:22

Me too BBB, but at your dd's age I think I would have done a little settling in as they're still very young and prone to separation anxieties, no?

emkana · 06/09/2005 20:40

I think it's wrong when settling in is discouraged. I think for some children it works really help and helps them a great deal. I stayed with my dd in the beginning, keeping in the background but being there, until she had accepted that she could trust the teachers and turn to them for help and reassurance.

BigBumpBonnie · 07/09/2005 08:51

I know, I feel I should have insisted, but with no one else staying and her running off quite happily at first and saying goodbye I thought she'd be ok I am def not taking her back for now, I will wait until she's just that little bit older.

I hope the whole experience hasn't put her off pre school in the future

mummylonglegs · 07/09/2005 10:50

BBB, the difference between my dd at nearly 3 and my dd at the same age as yours is ENORMOUS. There's no way I could've left her in a playgroup at just over 2, she wouldn't even leave my side in a toddler group. Even now I think she'll be upset and very shy but the big difference is her sociability. She's now very keen on the idea of making friends and finds the thought of 'school' very intriguing. But as you can see, even given that, I'm procrastinating about whether or not to just leave her.

My current plan is to do what a couple of people have suggested and stay around for the first morning but encourage her to go off and play and to 'bond' with her key worker. She's a very chatty girl and loves to go over things that have happened with me so it will be also useful for me to have an idea of how their routine there goes so that I can discuss it with her, as well as the little friends she'll make. I think on the second day I'll try to leave her for a while then nip back and on the third leave her altogether.

I don't know who's more nervous about it - me probably!

Donbean · 07/09/2005 11:17

Hello, im in the same boat! Me and ds have always gone every where together, i have only ever left him with MIL for a few hours and she comes to my house.
Sooooo.....dropped him off and he was ok, cried about 10 mins after i had gone and cried when he saw me when i went for him.

He has started this clingy thing over the last 2/3 weeks after having never been bothered if im in the room with him or not!

I was saying to Bonnie, that you need to be 100%confident in the place because effectively you are leaving your child with strangers, i dont know them and neither does ds.

Luckily at our play group they are all superb and have proven themselves to me time and time again.

Lets see how they all get on over the weeks to come........

BigBumpBonnie · 07/09/2005 12:57

mummylonglegs, thanks so much for saying that. That's what I'm hoping, that by the time she's three it will be easier, at least I can explain things to her so she'll understand more. She doesn't really socialise very well and likes to watch other children her own age more than join in at the moment. She also likes to know I'm by her side most of the time. I think I've def made the right decision to hold off until she's a bit older. I phoned the pre school to tell them and felt like a great weight had been lifted and instead of taking her there, she spent a nice morning with Mummy at the library choosing some new books and videos which she really enjoyed . I do hope your dd gets on okay Keep us posted.

Donbean, hope your ds has had a good morning there today. He is a very sociable little fellow so I'm sure he will be fine. Like you said your pre school seems really well run and I think that helps considerably. Anyway will really try to get to Stanley tomorrow as dd does enjoy it so much, so hope to see you there!

cupcakes · 07/09/2005 13:09

Interesting thread. My dd starts next Wednesday. She is 2.6. I had been planning to stay for the first session but am wondering if that will set up bad habits. She's very confident in familiar environments but can be clingy to me when confronted with strangers. I just hope the toys and other children will be a distraction to her.
Unfortunately I haven't done much prep with her over the summer. And whenever we turn on Balamory it's always a playday!

mummylonglegs · 07/09/2005 14:55

cupcakes, I've been discussing the whether to leave them / settling in issue on this thread

cupcakes · 07/09/2005 15:57

thanks mummylonglegs!

mummylonglegs · 07/09/2005 19:23

no probs, cupcakes, useful?

Original poster
oliveoil · 13/09/2005 11:54

Still getting a few tears, bottom lip wobbles when she has to go in etc, but she seems ok.

How is everyone else doing?

Don't you feel like the biggest shit in the world leaving them to cry? Or is that just me?

God help me when she starts school.

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