Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Starting playgroup but never been to nursery, will she be a leg grabber??!!

43 replies

oliveoil · 31/08/2005 15:46

Dd1 starts playgroup on Monday and I am worrying how she will be. She has never been to nursery as MIL has her when I work so has never been left 'alone' so to speak.

When we go to the toddler group she is always near me and doesn't really go off on her own.

Anyone else got a big softie and how did it go?

Help!

OP posts:

MaloryTowers · 31/08/2005 15:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

northerner · 31/08/2005 15:48

No advice Olive cause my ds is a nurser goer. But good luck.....

Original poster

oliveoil · 31/08/2005 15:49

aw bless! I would rather have that then her sobbing on the way in.

Every time we watch Balamory I say ooooh look playgroup lots of boys and girls etc etc, I will drop you off and you will have lots of fun then I will come back. Have been going on and on all summer.

OP posts:

mumtosomeone · 31/08/2005 15:49

my ds starts next week too. He knows I will be leaving him and he has visited quite a bit,but who knows how it will go!!!

Original poster

oliveoil · 31/08/2005 15:50

I am such a saddo over protective mum that I have booked a week off work so I can take her and sort her out. Ha! Hopefully she will saunter in but she is a bit of a soft arse at times.

OP posts:

nailpolish · 31/08/2005 15:50

hi, my dd1 started playgroup 3 weeks ago, she is a bit clingy and i was really surprised at how the first week went, she ran in without looking back shouting "bye mummy bye"

i was delighted

but week 2 was a nighmare - she was horrified this was an ongoing thing, going to playgroup, and was a leg-grabber all that week. i ended up staying for an hr the first day, half an hr the 2nd and 3rd days (she goes 3 days a week) on the 3rd day the playgroup leader had to use all her abilities to distract her.

she was fine as soon as i walked out the door (or so they said, who knows)

but week 3 has gone so far without any problems, she is fine now

good luck!

Original poster

oliveoil · 31/08/2005 15:52

yes, np, apparently they think it is a novelty at first and then realise it is for good.

When you stayed at the pg, did you hovver in the background? Not sure what to do. Were you the only mum staying?

OP posts:

WigWamBam · 31/08/2005 15:52

I thought my dd would be a leg-grabber when she went to pre-school as she had never been to nursery or playgroups, but on her first afternoon she spotted her teacher, went haring across the room, grabbed her teacher's hand then turned back, realised I was still there and said "What are you still doing here, Mummy? Off you go" - and that was the pattern set!

Sounds as if you've done a good job of preparing her ... best of luck for her first day!

nailpolish · 31/08/2005 15:52

i was the only mum there and i think it was a mistake staying

northerner · 31/08/2005 15:53

My ds is 3.4 and has gon eto nursery 3 days a week since 4mnths old. He still doesn't just saunter in. We still have days where he is a leg grabber.

Minute you're out of view she'll be in teh sand pit quicker than you can say play dough.

nailpolish · 31/08/2005 15:53

didnt make it any easier in the long run, she was just twisting me round her little finger

Original poster

oliveoil · 31/08/2005 15:53

Really? Do you think you should just go and leave them to it? I would be pressing my face against the window.

OP posts:

Original poster

oliveoil · 31/08/2005 15:54

OOOOH, so I may have booked a week off and have nothing to do (well apart from dd2). Shopping beckons.

OP posts:

mumtosomeone · 31/08/2005 15:54

the 'teachers' will be used to mums hanging around and been upset. We have a kitchen where we can stay and have a cuppa if we dont feel ready to leave!

nailpolish · 31/08/2005 15:54

half the time i just sat and watched her! then i stood up and she would cry (omg it was stupid, dont stay longer than 5 mins)

Original poster

oliveoil · 31/08/2005 15:56

Right! Will be tough and hard (not).

Hometime for me, will check in tomorrow for me tips.

God help me when she goes to school FULLTIME, I will be some wailing mess outside the gate.

OP posts:

nailpolish · 31/08/2005 15:56

after i left i actually hid round the corner and watched through a window, she was sitting reading a book, quiet but happy. just get her interested in a long term toy, like sandpit, something they would not really have at home, or something they can make lots of mess with, and they will be happy!

Original poster

oliveoil · 31/08/2005 15:56

more tips, sound really like a manc there

OP posts:

northerner · 31/08/2005 15:59

If you stay you prolong the agony IMO. She thinks if she cries, Mummy stays for longer. Vicous circle.

You go, hug her say goodbye and you'll be back later and leave. Even if staff have to prise her from you.

It'll be worth it in the long run.

nailpolish · 31/08/2005 16:03

i think the worse thing is when they come home and have a new song or nursery rhyme and you realise its not one you have taught her, she is now an independant human being, and its the start of her knowing things that you dont! sob!

im a bit possessive though

karen1806 · 31/08/2005 18:31

I would stay for a few minutes and settle her in. Once you have decided to go then you say goodbye and go. The most confusing thing for children is when the parent says goodbye but then comes back because the child is crying. Ask the nursery how long they would let her cry for before they would contact you. I am a pre-school leader and I would not let a child cry continuosly for more than about 15 minutes or so. If they are really distressed I will call the parents to come back. I have to say that this hardly ever happens as the children nearly always stop crying within a couple of minutes and either watch the other children or start playing.Good luck with Monday! I've got about 10 new children starting and am waiting to see how many are going to cry!!It's a totally normal reaction for lots of children. Karen

kath4kids · 31/08/2005 19:16

My dd starts playgroup on Mon and has gone to nursery but still clings every now and again. Just reminds me of 10,11 years ago doing this with my eldest dd she was a nightmare had to peel her from around the dining room table legs, when she started school it used to take two of us just to get her dressed, she only stopped crying about yr 4 or five.

But i never stayed because as soon as i was out of sight she would be fine, it was damn hard and i often cried leaving her so distressed.

hopefully dd3 will be ok. If shes not tough coz she's going anyway - bless and she only 2.7 yr

nutcracker · 31/08/2005 19:19

My dd1 never went to toddler groups or nursery but when she started playgroup at 2.9 she was absolutly fine, infact she told me to go

twik · 03/09/2005 22:02

oliveoil, I wish I'd seen this thread before because my dd is due to start on 12 Sept. I hope you update as to how it's going?

Original poster

oliveoil · 06/09/2005 12:01

Update:

Well she went in fine - actually ran off and didn't give me a kiss - and I turned up slightly early and hid behind a bush (!) watching her play on all the bikes and she looked happy. And really grown up (sob).

But when she spotted me later she burst into tears, which could be because she was absolutely knackered. She only dropped her nap a couple of weeks ago and usually has a mini kip in the buggy late afternoon so I think she was a bit overwhelmed.

CAN NOT stop talking about paint and sand!

Hope she is ok today, the women there raised knowing eyebrows yesterday and said there may be fun and games to come.

Hurrah!

Ta ta for know, off work this week and this SAHM lark is a piece of piss!

xxxx

OP posts:

Flip

1 2