Packing them off to Uni

[LJS666]

I'm (mentally) in packing overdrive and saying to my son.

Do you need a laptop?
What stationery do you need?
Do you want a lamp?
Do you want a dressing gown?
I've bought you new bedding, do you like it? Do you want more?
What's your underwear situation, do you need new stuff?
Do you have a reading list, shall we buy the books now?

He's yawning and ignoring me and it's driving me mad. I'm desperate to tick off a list and make sure he has everything required.

Then I asked him did he want me to drive him there and help him set up.

It's Aberystwyth and we're in London - I would be driving him on my own and the thought fills me with horror.

He laughed and said he'd get the coach so that girls would feel sorry for him and he might get a girlfriend quicker.

Would I be a bad mum if I let him go alone on the coach? He's been all over Europe with his mate and always comes back in one piece but it feels so uncaring.

I remember my Mum begging me for weeks to let her show me how to use the washing machine before I went to Uni. I ignored her and thought she was a silly old trout. Of course I simply read the instructions at the launderette when I got there.

Let him make his own checklist

if he's in halls he can probably get the coach but not with a lamp

there are shops in aber he can get what he needs there

I'm jealous, I went to aber, I loved it

it's about five hour drive from London

Thanks Compo - that's an excellent idea I will ask him to make a checklist. He laughed at the idea of a dressing gown!

Aber looks terrific and he has accomodation in Penbryn to start with so I would guess he does not need crockery and cutlery?

Do you know the computer situation at Aber - should he take a laptop or does he need to take his home PC?

Let him go on the coach and then make the jouney up to see him after a couple of weeks. Take him a big food parcel full of goodies and anything he needs.

A friend of mine used to take her son a big Costo pizza which would feed everybody, Ribena, his favorite brand cerial, Nutella etc... the things that were like little luxuries. His flat mates were very envious when she went to visit and the girls would think it was sweet.

Happy campers all round

You can't get these things right, can you? You are complaining because your DS won't make lists. I'm complaining because DD is making loads of lists and spending all my money!

Leave him be. Half the point of them going off to Uni is learning to stand on their own two feet. Let him make his mistakes and learn from them.

Thanks for the tipoff BTW. I shall warn DD to watch out for 'puppy dog' boys who expect to prey on others' good nature.

Let him do it himself. Save your money (for an emergency cheque when he realises what he needs to buy when he gets there). Let him go on the coach (but be prepared for him begging you to take him when it gets closer, also be prepared for him not to).

Make him promise to phone you, or email regularly etc.

My DS lives in his dressing gown - towelling hoodie type - so will definitely take that with him - and unless your DS is ensuite, it is useful when you go for a shower (as is a pair of flip flops to try to avoid catching athletes foot/veruccas etc).
Laptop is very useful but not 100% necessary - printer also useful but you can use university network printers.
I buy bedding in the sales - two sets, though whether it will be changed during the term is questionable. A spare old white sheet for toga parties is useful!
Lasmp may be provided in hall - he can sort that out when he gets there.
If he is going by coach, I wouldn't get the books - you can always order them via Amazon/Waterstones etc and get them sent to Aber.

Can he speak Welsh ?

senua - it's the difference between the sexes! I read a "what to take to Uni" list, obviously written by a girl, that included everything from nail varnish remover to cushions "to make the bed look homely".

I think my desperation to make lists and get his packing "just right" is a symptom of panicking that he is going. He is so excited to go off to Uni that I think I will leave him to it and be prepared to drive him/put him on a coach whatever he actually asks for rather than pressing him to accept things.

And breathe!

Lucinda - he can't speak Welsh but only 33% of the Uni are Welsh speakers and they live in their own Halls. I would think that they speak English as well as Welsh.

When I went it took two cars to get me there.
I took everything from a plant to posters to a kettle.
The lad next door arrived with one ruck sack LOL.

I would not suggest the coach for the first ever trip there as carrying what he needs would be a struggle.

My son's uni accommodation is providing a lamp. He will bring bedding, maybe a cushion or two.

We are deliberating over whether he should have a desk-top or laptop. I know laptops get stolen by the gazillion, and if he doesn't need a laptop to take to lectures/seminars/library etc, he would be happier and safer with a desktop. Perhaps he needs to phone the uni department - they might run seminars where they expect students to bring a laptop (I have heard of this in some departments).

Other than that, a teapot, mugs, a wee bit of crockery, small frypan and cutlery for extra feeding himself when hungry.

Oh and a few posters of course!

"Oh and a few posters of course!"

You know that Halls are very uptight about students putting up posters etc these days? Whitetack is sometimes OK, bluetack is definitely not and drawing pins are punishable by rustication (I think I'm joking there ...)

Yes, we're sorting out whitetack and alternative methods of hanging (posters). When I was at uni, we had to use poster hangers and string and those curved brass picture hooks that hang onto a dado rail.

Fond memories. Aber was my 2nd choice as you could spend the 2nd year in the USA. I fell over a sheep in the Nat Library there.

My poor Dad though, used to drive me up to Leeds on Saturday and my brother across to Wales on Sunday. In the end he took to hiring a van!

In your shoes I would take him there by car at the start and end of the year as he'll have loads of stuff. He can make his own way other times.

Let him pack his own stuff.

I bought DS a laptop on A-level results day. He told me he needed one and we picked one out together - the features he wanted, and the ones I wanted that he hadn't thought of (eg long battery life).

For everything else, he just wants to make do. I asked about a duvet and bedding and he thought he could take his stuff from home, without a thought about bringing them on the train everytime he comes home. The university sells linens kits - duvet, pillow, linens, hand, face and tea towels - for £50. I think it might be easier just to get that than dragging him around Tesco or Debenhams.

For general room things, I think we need to see where he is allocated first. I think they provide desk lamps.

An interesting leaflet came with the UCAS letter about a 'Student Book Card', which is basically a charge card, with a parent top up card. I don't think they get book lists until after they enrol.

My son is only going to be 20 miles away, so I think we can manage to take him, and to check up on him after a couple of weeks. I'm sure he will be happy to have visitors who happen to have open wallets.

I would sugget a laptop could be more useful - if he did want to take it to the library he can, it's also easier to bring home for weekend visits/holidays.

Mme - if you have a Primark handy, they're pretty good for linen stuff (think that list would work out about £20 cheaper). I took my stuff from home and we just bought a cheapy cheap quilt (£5) and cover for when I came home for the odd weekend.

Hint to him that a dressing gown is a good idea, even if it lives on the hook on the back of the door. He will appreciate it when the fire alarm goes off at 6am on a cold and wet winter morning and all the other lads are standing around in boxer shorts.

I'm reading this thread with interest as I will be just like you when the day comes in 4 years time.

He is your baby and you want to compensate for the panic you feel at him leaving the nest by going into frantic organisation mode.
That's exactly what I do.

Just try not to resent it if he chooses not to do it your way. He'll probably trot home at the first opportunity and say " hey mum, you were right, I really do need x,yand z".

Decent Document file and good bike chain to attatch it to pipe in room to keep wallet/ passport/ bank details in. So when he just pops out of the room for a minute and doesn't lock the door it's still there when he gets back.

He'll probably trot home at the first opportunity and say " hey mum, you were right, I really do need x,yand z"

Ho, ho, not in my experience ... more likely that he will "trot" (i.e. require you to drive hundreds of miles to pick him up at an inconvenient time for you) home with some minging dirty laundry and then sleep through the vacation.

Have a look at the packing list on the Student RoomPacking List

You'll need a truck not the train lol.

I think DS2 will have to forgo the rice cooker suggested in the list - just not enough room in the car.