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Original poster

Homework problems

16 replies

Dancergirl · 19/07/2010 20:39

My oldest dd turned 9 in May and going into Year 5 in September. She's quite bright but a bit lazy and lacks confidence especially in Maths. She's at a (good) local state primary but as far as I can see, the school does very little to prepare children for 11+ exams for either grammar or private schools.

We started private tutoring for dd a month or two ago with the aim to increase her confidence in Maths and (later on) to prepare her for entrance exams. Now I'm generally quite a laid-back parent - I don't believe in too much homework early on, pushing children too much or 'getting them in' to a school where they will struggle to keep up. But I do want my dd to fulfil her potential that's all.

The problem is the tutor is giving her 3 pieces of homework per week, plus she gets one English and one Maths per week at school (and will be getting the same in Year 5). Dd hates doing homework, she gets grumpy/tearful and it's becoming a bit of an issue. I don't want to stop the tutor because he's very good and I think dd is already benefitting. But at the same time, it worries me that pushing dd to get the homework done goes against my instincts. She's only 9 and I want her to be having fun free from pressures.

Does anyone have any advice?

OP posts:
PiratePrincess · 19/07/2010 21:25

I think you need to find a time that she will be happy to do it, whether that's straight after school, first thing in the morning or whenever.

DS1 (age 8) couldn't practise the piano when his 2yr old sister was around as she pressed all the keys () so he gets up and practises before she wakes.

Good luck with the 11+ btw.

thisisyesterday · 19/07/2010 21:31

do you think it's too much maybe? is she tired in the evenings when you do it?

is there opportunity to do it straight after school, with a small snack and drink alongside?

mnistooaddictive · 19/07/2010 21:34

You are paying the tutor to do what YOU want. Ask him to stop with the homework or limit it to one piece a week.

sue52 · 19/07/2010 22:13

Sounds like too much homework. Be careful you don't overload her and turn her off school, after all you have more than a year to prepare her for the 11plus.

kayah · 20/07/2010 19:09

I would say it all depends on where your dd is at the moment.
I can only guess that your tutor has a reason to give her that much homework.

Which subjects is she going to be tested on.
If all 3 - English, Maths and VR then I guess she is getting one of each so the tutor sees her progress.

I hope your daughter will get to like homework at my dd's in y7 there were many days she had to do more than 3, sometimes up to 5 for next day. I know , maybe my dd was late dong them, but tbh it had to be done sometime anyway

Grammar schools are hot on homework and the sooner she gets into it the better (that's my oppinion ).

How long does the tutor expect her doing each of those homeworks?

emptyshell · 20/07/2010 19:59

I tutor - I don't generally set homework unless it's requested by the parents.

Carolinemaths · 21/07/2010 07:44

My kids like maths but there are still times when they want to rip up their maths homework. I've written some advice in this maths homework help blog post, but basically keep calm and involve DD in deciding the structure and quantity of the homework.

It does sound like a lot of homework, but if you and the tutor are sure it's necessary then try breaking it up into 15 minute chunks and change activities every 15 minutes.

Children need free time and incentives, if it's just homework, tea, bed then she's bound to get burnt out. The whole stress will be lifted if you make sure there's a treat at the end of each day, (TV time, computer time, story sharing time)

Good Luck!

seeker · 22/07/2010 23:14

You're paying the tutor. Tell her that you don;t want you dd to be given homework. Simple.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 22/07/2010 23:19

Sorry but if you want your daughter to go to an academic private then she's going to have homework and plenty of it. It's going to be incredibly difficult for her to go from very little to having to do an hour or so a night. You are better off starting her off slowly and increasing it gradually.

seeker · 22/07/2010 23:40

I don"t agree! Once they get to secondary school they are different people. And the prevailing culture is different. The OP's dd is getting more than twice as much homework as her classmates - she's bound to resent it! 2 pieces of homework a week is fine for year 4.

belledechocolatefluffybunny · 22/07/2010 23:45

They do mature alot over the last 2 years of primary school, I fail to see how a child can adapt from having 2 pieces of homework a week to having an hour a day though, it's going to be alot harder for them to adapt to this.

seeker · 22/07/2010 23:50

That's what most state school kids do!

duchesse · 23/07/2010 00:06

My children had that much homework in state infant school. You will find a neat division between parents who think their children shouldn't have any homework, and ones who think they should have more. In my (professional) view homework should serve a useful learning function, be achievable alone, be interesting, and mostly should be done if it is given, not used as a tool by the parent to undermine the school's efforts. It's part of the relationship between home and school, a useful bridging tool imo.

Having said that, your daughter's current homework is voluntary since it is given by a tutor. If she actually gets into any of these schools, she will be expected to do a whole lot more homework than that, and will be at school with children who have been doing a lot more than that for years. I would be very surprised if you managed to find a grammar or mainstream private school that took a relaxed attitude to homework or prep. So within 2 years she will be expected to do far more than what her tutor is making her do. Unless you and she are willing to embrace that, maybe grammar or academic private is not the best option for her.

MathsMadMummy · 23/07/2010 00:14

"not used as a tool by the parent to undermine the school's efforts"

what d'you mean?

seeker · 23/07/2010 00:42

'So within 2 years she will be expected to do far more than what her tutor is making her do."

But that's the point - in two years! Not now. She will be a different person in two years time.

Secondary school homework has a point - it extends and reinforces learning. Primary school homework has no purpose but to pacify parents who think that the sign of a good school is lots of homework. The same parents usually go overboard on uniform too. And competitive sports days. All the trimmings!

Litchick · 23/07/2010 08:03

Much depends on what the homework is and how long it should take.
Mine have had prep from the start - but it has always been useful and little and often.

This is one of the best ways to master anyhting ( children and adults alike). Short bursts of regular practise. This stands for a child of any age.

Learning to read, play and instrument, a new language, ride a bike. Most of us become profficient by short bursts of regular practise.

Of course one can put any of this off until a child is eleven - but that seems to me a rather aribtrary age.

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