I'm just going to have to refund aren't I

[Thorinfling]

Sold a beautiful swimsuit set last week, bikini and rash vest set. No labels and a mark on the rash vest so sold as 'used' even though it had never been worn and bikini was immaculate. All in all worth over £300 new.

Buyer paid around £60 and has now messaged me to say one of the detachable straps wasn't in the package. Asking if I have it before they "formally ask for a return".

I 100% KNOW it was in the package as I remember folding it and wrapping it really carefully in the special pouch and tissue paper etc. I check everything over it very carefully before sending and always get lovely feedback.

I think it just doesn't fit and the buyer wants a refund because it was quite pricey (but still a bargain). My profile states that I don't accept returns.

So now I'm going to receive it back with one strap missing, I can't resell it and ebay have already taken their fee. I'll have to refund plus postage. There's no other option is there unless I want to get negative feedback? [sigh]

Wondering whether to send a cheerful email to the buyer and just say that if they have miraculously "found" the strap but would still like a refund then could they please send the whole thing back? At least then I can resell. Or will that just make it worse? Ugh, ebay.

Sorry OP. Been there myself. eBay were utterly useless and I ended up closing my account down after a refunding some scammy sod. Too annoying to use!

Sorry OP. Been there myself. eBay were utterly useless and I ended up closing my account down after a refunding some scammy sod. Too annoying to use!

This has happened to me twice on a couple of items, not the high expense of yours, but it's so annoying that your trying to make money and then have to pay the refund AND their postage. It's put me off Ebay. Sorry you're having to deal with this. Only suggestion for future is you take pic just before sealing the packaging. Or for expensive items such as yours, video the packaging process so you can prove it's all there.

So frustrating - ask them to double check the package as you were very careful putting everything in there etc - had it got caught in another part etc.
you might as well say - please double check etc - happy to refund but please do take another look. Better to find the extra bit.
you’ll also have to pay for return postage.
next time photograph before selling or sell on marketplace for a little less - no fees and no hassle.
Another option - you could say you have a spare so will pop in the post - see what they say to that?
mug so expensive can you get Spares?
i would be very annoyed!!! Have you double checked just to be sure.

How annoying for you. Yes I'd definitely drop in the option of "finding" the strap and returning it anyway. At least then you'll just have lost the cost of postage and can resell a complete item (somewhere other than ebay!). This is the downside of ebay, unfortunately.

The "no returns" on a sellers profile in reality means nothing. The buyers are protected and entitled to returns, they just have to say it doesn't match description.

Thanks for the responses, I thought that was the case! It's crap isn't it. Have sent cheerful email to buyer (through gritted teeth). Hopefully they'll 'find' the strap and send the lot back intact.

I was going to use Vinted and then saw the dreadful reviews there (for sellers) so thought ebay was a better option. Doh.

Thems the breaks with ebay

I sell a lot on ebay and get the occasional pisstaker but 99% of buyers are honest ime.

I've even refunded buyers because an item didn't arrive thinking they were blagging, but when it did arrive due to tardy Royal Mail they insisted on paying again.

Ebay do side with buyer 99.99% of the time and rely on the ebay guarantee to get sales and maintain traffic so whilst shite for sellers I can understand why.

For expensive clothing I'd put a return option on.

The scammers are definitely out in force on eBay at the moment
Vinted is better I’ve found because when they’ve accepted the parcel there’s no come back!
I would definitely say you’d like the strap back as well

if there’s no chance of a refund being made automatically by eBay I would just accept the negative feedback. I got a really negative feedback last month and this month sales are better than ever!

Things like this well and truly put me off selling anything but cheap items on eBay.

Sorry op, not much help I'm afraid

@Orangesare That's interesting about negative feedback not affecting your sales. I do check feedback and if there's just the odd negative comment and the rest are great I still buy from people so good point!

@Metabigot you're right, in hindsight a return option would have been a better option to avoid this sort of issue.

Ah well, live and learn. No point letting this send me into a tailspin of impotent frustration! Just refund and move on.

I don't sell on eBay anymore because it's open to too much abuse and PayPal sides with the buyer

The last few items I sold were collection only as it's open to less abuse and they were very large and heavy

I saw a story recently where somebody sold an iPhone as faulty as the speaker wasn't working, otherwise it was fine. The buyer returned it for some reason and when it arrived the screen had been removed!

Buyer is trying it on. She's hoping you'll offer a discount for missing strap. Hold your nerve and insist on it being sent back and I bet she will suddenly discover it's there after all. Ebay is shit for sellers.

@EllaPaella God I'm so naive, people actually do that? I have emailed and said just send the whole thing back and I'll refund. Interesting that a lot of her seller feedback talks about how "reasonable" sellers have been. To me that suggests she does this sort of thing a fair bit.

I've sold some furniture on gumtree which was collection only and that was so much easier!

I've had 2 negative feedbacks on my account for nearly a year. I didn't agree with either and both had a refund so I don't know what else they expected me to do.

One moaned about the postage even though she knew the price before she paid and knew how heavy it was. I don't scam on postage.

So I commented back on the feedback she left me. Just do that. Buyers can see the it's just a one off.

Always takes pictures of everything packaged yo so you have proof moving forwards OP.

Refuse the refund. If they leave negative feedback, ring ebay and if you’re very sweet you may be able to have them remove it. If that fails, reply to the feedback. If you’ve got plenty of positive then a bit of negative doesn’t hurt. I sell lots on eBay as a business and honestly negative feedback doesn’t really affect my sales. Also I’ve had ebay remove some!

@bro101 you're right. Negative feedback isn't the end of the world and shouldn't be weaponised by buyers to strong-arm sellers into discounts and refunds.

And I agree that you can see when these things are a one-off, I've certainly bought from sellers who don't have 100% positive feedback when you can see it's just been one or two isolated incidents.

What a scammer the buyer is.

If you formally cancel the transaction (after receiving item back) then eBay refunds the fee. just a bit of admin charge (like 30p) and you have to pay for postage (probably 2 lots). Try to cancel to at least get that fee back.

Don't refuse the refund. This is worst option. You will lose even more money. Refuse the refund & you lose

• ebay original sales fee


• ebay charge of like £10 when they decide against you


• item (won't be returned at all)


• you'll get negative fback possibly

Do advance search on ebay to be sure no one has sold similar before you declare can't be sold again, I sell a lot of stuff for spares. You may have to pay buyer's return postage, so factor that into whether worthwhile to have item back. If you can sell item(s) again for enough profit, I'd ask for items back and promise full refund when returned. When returned, send cancel request which will trigger auto refund of original transaction. & put them on your blocked bidders list. There are websites that take submissions of bad ebayers who should be blocked...

If you truly know you can't resell, then send a cancel transaction request, this will trigger a full refund, & separately you put them on your blocked bidders list. Ask them to nicely donate to a charity shop. Make their conscience squirm,...

ps: and if you really think buyer has the strap, just say "Could you look again in the package for the strap? If you don't like the item I can refund fully. Just send it back, we will cancel the transaction." This is better than ebay putting all the other penalties on you.

Even if you refuse the refund, it will be escalated & eBay will end up refunding them from your funds. The return case will be something like item not described, even if you are adamant the buyer may be lying (could well be, I've dealt with dodgy buyers before) unfortunately there isn't much you can do about it. I'd accept the refund and see what happens from there.

Whenever I've sold on ebay I packed everything with video evidence, and I took video footage of posting the item. This was clearly written in the description of the item, to put off potential scammers.

unfortunately they will probably get their money back through a paypal/ebay dispute so i would want the item back. They refund them out of your money AND keep the item.

Keep a log of everything and refund the scammer once you have the item back