Buyer claims item is damaged - wants refund, but won't return item

[LunarScream]

Without going into too much detail I'm sure this was fine when it left us, and the damage she's claiming couldn't realistically have occured during transit. But now she's demanding a refund, and says "it wouldn't be worth you paying for return postage on a useless item so I've disposed of it for you".

As it happens the postage was less than the item sold for, but not by much. But why make that assumption? I guess I have no choice but to accept it, but I have a nasty feeling I'm being scammed and the buyer (new buyer, not much feedback yet) has found a way of getting something for nothing.

Get eher to take a photo and send to you.

No - insist upon having the item returned to you (ignore the "I disposed of it for you" guff). Without you seeing the damaged item she cannot say "I want a refund".
No item = no refund! I'd say that and stick to it.
Go to e-bay's dispute console if you have to. I think you'll find though that unless she can prove her "damaged" claims she has not got a leg to stand on.

Until she returns the item don't even consider a refund.

tell her you will refund when she returns the item to you

I ahd something similar. On no account do you refund unless she returns the item to you. The problem I ahd was resolved, the buyer sent it back and I refunded. Stick to your guns, don't be hassled into refunding

I think the phrase we used at school was "chinny reckon".

Definately no refund unless she returns the item. Point out to her that even Marks & Spencer don't refund unless you actually return the item.

It will probably come back to you damaged in a fit of temper having been caught out on the scam they are trying to put over on you.

even if she goes via paypal for her refund they will insist she returns (at her own cost) before issuing a refund.
Simply tell her no return = no refund and wait to see if she opens a dispute. Go along with the dispute in the knowledge that unless she returns it by trackable means she won't get a refund.
If she negs you (she isn't actually allowed to mention paypal or dispute in the FB so this could poss be removed) simply reply to FB with "if you return the item I will happily refund"