Sorry flack, i should have explained a bit more.
After 7 days of non payment, ie 7 days after the buyer commited to buying, the buyer automatically drops into the 'Eligible for Item reminder' section on the seller's ebay selling manager page.
Once the seller files an Unpaid Item Dispute, eBay sends the buyer an email notification and displays a pop-up message if the buyer signs into eBay within 14 days of filing. The email and pop-up message will provide the following details:
Friendly reminder to pay. The email and pop-up message will remind the buyer that payment has not been received, along with simple instructions on how to respond or how to pay for the item. If the buyer does not respond to the email or pop-up message within seven days, the seller may file for a Final Value Fee credit. The seller also becomes eligible for a free re-list credit.
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Mutual agreement indication. If the seller indicates that a mutual agreement has been reached with the buyer not to complete the transaction, eBay will ask the buyer for confirmation through an email and pop-up message.
etc etc.
Of course it is up to the seller how long they wait before proceeding with this action, BUT they only have 45 days in which to do so. They must consider the amount of time lapsing if they wish to be eligible for 'Final fees Fees' refund. Another consideration could be if the item in question is seasonal - a seller needs to be able to re-list the item within the appropriate time slot.
I personally allow a few extra days before sending the item reminder. I will send a duplicate 'congrats you have won the item' message, allow for weekend postage etc but it has always been my experience that the only one that prompts any action is the official ebay reminder. They pay, I post, we all move on
The seller can close the dispute after the buyer has responded at least once, or if the buyer does not respond within eight days. If the seller does not wish to wait for the buyer the buyer receives an Unpaid Item strike, the seller receives a Final Value Fee credit, and the item is eligible for a relist credit.
Regarding making a note not to deal with a certain member, again, this can be done automatically within the dispute console at the click of a button. The buyer will longer be allowed to bid on any of that seller's items. The buyer may also find they are prevented from bidding on millions of other auctions if they receive 2 or more strikes, as this is included in the buyer preference section that millions of ebayers select.
I'm not sure what you meant by the written note flack, but I can't help but chuckle at the vision I now have of a post-it-note on your fridge that says "Do not buy from sixlostmonkeys"
If you meant sending it in writing to the seller I can't really see what could be gained from this - surely it would only prompt unpleasant communication in return??
I'd rather let the auto-ebay do the job for me - It's much easier, more pleasant and less stressful.
Regarding conditions stated within a listing - these can be taken with a pinch of salt. If they state they require payment within 3 days for eg, the ebay rule of allowing 7 days overrides this. A buyer should not need to work alongside some conditions though should they? You commit to buy, you pay and 7 days is more than long enough surely?