Buyer agreed refund but who moves first?

[twofingerstoGideon]

Bought something from ebay. Received item today. Really disappointed - item in poor condition. Contacted buyer who immediately agreed to full refund including postage. (I asked for postage refund as item cost £12, but 2 x postage would be £8. and as item was mis-described thought it only fair I shouldn't bear postage costs.)

Anyway, on the whole I'm happy with her agreement to refund, but slightly worried I could return the item to her and not get my money back. £20 is half a week's grocery money! Should she refund first or I send the item back first? I realise she's in a similar situation to me and we need to trust each other to keep to our agreement, ie. if she refunded first she could be out of pocket if I then didn't return the item. Are there ebay guidelines on this?

She suggested I return it second class, but I'm planning to send it 'signed for' and bear additional postage cost myself, just to protect myself.

Sorry if this seems trivial in terms of money - but it's quite a large amount for me!

You need to return it first for a refund.
You are right, you need to send it back by trackable means.
The seller is obliged to refund your full original costs. She is not obliged to refund your return postage (unless she is a business seller and it was a BIN) but a good seller would.

Thanks sixlostmonkeys.

If she ended up not refunding, I presume I could open a dispute with ebay if I have her message agreeing to a refund?

you will have proof it was sent back so yes ebay would refund you.

Thanks

business sellers with BIN still do not need to refund return postage some will if their mistake but no legal obligation to, but they do have to accept returns and then refund if you just change your mind within 7 days rather than there being a fault