Really Need Help Gaining Weight 😔

[MeganBoo]

Hi all, I’ve been struggling with my weight for years and really need help. As a teenager I use to be a size 10/12 (wish I could be this size again) but I stopped eating properly and became a size 4/6 up until this current date where I’m now 25.

I’m not sure what caused me to eat less previously but it’s now due to mental health difficulties and being depressed with little motivation for anything. I feel so insecure about my body as I'm underweight and practically skin and bones no exaggeration…I struggle to look in the mirror at myself and hate seeing my naked body and my bones sticking out. I don’t enjoy going out as I feel like my body looks so skinny in clothes, it’s got to the point I’ve started relying on wearing padding underneath clothes to make me look a bit bigger.

I have one meal a day, if that, and often feel faint and lightheaded due to the lack of food. I know to gain weight I’ve got to eat more but it’s not as easy as that for me. Doctors said maybe I have an underlying eating disorder but I’m not sure and waiting for further assessments which is taking forever. Yesterday my partner said I should work out (to keep me busy) and I should do squats so I can get a bigger ass…he said it was a joke but I struggle to take criticism on my body and it’s somehow made me feel even more ugly about myself.

Would really love to hear from anyone who’s been underweight and managed to gain weight, just a bit of motivation and support would be great right now. Thank you.

I don't have any lived experience of being underweight, but I do have lived experience of refeeding after a serious gastro problem. If you're chronically undereating, you can't just start "eating like a normal person" immediately. It's likely that this will make you feel sick, which kind of defeats the point.

I started with upping my calories using shakes/drinks. So alongside the meal I could tolerate, I also drank Huel shakes, starting with one a day and building up to 3-4. I found this an easy way to add in nutrients and calories without upsetting my stomach. Once I started upping my calorie intake using the drinks, I started to have more energy and feel better, then I started feeling hungry and could gently add in food calories and reduce the drinks. Take it slowly, and in the initial stages, be guided by any cravings you have. If you really want some chocolate, eat it - you need to reprogramme your body to trust that you won't ignore hunger signals and you can only do this by eating what you fancy if/when you fancy something.

Feel free to snack/nibble as much as you want to, that's a better approach than trying to introduce extra meals which can be tough on a healing digestive system. As you start to raise your calorie intake by adding more snacks, you can think about combining snacks to form a meal - so maybe having one larger breakfast than having smaller bits throughout the morning. But be guided by your body, take it slow. Your priority is getting calories and nutrients in however that feels comfortable for you to do.

Finally, tell your partner to take a long jump off a short pier if they're putting pressure on you to exercise!