Was it an eating disorder?

[minimoo7]

About 5 years ago during the pandemic my anxiety became very very bad. I also developed OCD, particularly responsibility OCD about all sorts of things.

Just before this time I started a diet to lose some weight. But the mental health issues also made me lose my appetite and not want to eat sometimes. I weighed myself daily and I felt euphoria at the weight I was losing, so I would eat very little to lose more. I was probably living off less than 800 cals a day, everyday. With the OCD and anxiety, I thought feeling hungry would override the other things in my head and it gave me something to concentrate on and feel in control. Of course, it didn’t stop the anxiety and OCD at all.

At lowest I was 7 stone at 5’3 after losing 3.8 stone. I wanted to lose more, I still saw myself as having some weight to lose. My waist was 22 inches but it wasn’t enough. But menstrual cycle stopped and I felt cold all the time, my hair was awful. I decided to finally see the GP and get antidepressants as a family member told me they could imagine going to my funeral.

The medication helped with the anxiety and obsessive thoughts and in turn, the problems with eating. I manage the other issues to not slide into issues with eating.

I now may need to mention my mental health history and while the anxiety and OCD is ok for me to explain, I’m not sure if I had an eating disorder or if I would be dramatic to say so? As I didn’t get a diagnosis for it or see specialist services. People would look at me and not thing I had one, as I have gained weight now.

My daughter has an eating disorder so I have a fairly good understanding of the criteria. What you have described - rapid weight loss due to severe restriction to reach an unhealthy weight (your weight and height likely put you as an underweight bmi) and your views about your body certainly sound to me like an eating disorder. I would certainly give the information as part of your history. You can refer to disordered eating if you are unsure.

It definitely sounds like you had disordered eating, I don’t know which specific condition it would be described as. How are you now OP? And are you thinking you’d like help with the eating?

I would certainly consider that a eating disorder. I never received a diagnosis or specific treatment, but refer to my previous history and ongoing battle to maintain a healthy relationship with food, exercise, body image etc as an eating disorder, or as PP suggested 'disordered eating '.

All the things you describe, intentionally starving yourself until your periods stop and you experience physiological symptoms of malnutrition is pretty indicative. The elation you experienced, the use of food/weight/body size as ways to regain control, all strongly align with the (and with mine and friends) presentation.

Certainly disordered eating op. Lots of us no doubt took to something we COULD control during COVID...

I think it's tricky ... sort of a chicken and egg situation. I'm going through this with my 11 year old daughter. She stopped eating and lost a lot of weight, ended up in hospital. The ED team have been seeing her intensively over the last 3.5 months.

But, as things are trundling along, it seems to be that the anxiety predates the ED by about a year, and that seems to be what they are focusing on now. For example, even though she barely eats (she seems to sustain herself somehow by vast amounts of chewing and spitting out of food) they are allowing her to return to school as it will hopefully benefit her mental health. She is also prescribed sertraline.

In short - I dunno. Maybe we will by the time she recovers, but by that point it won't matter so much anyway. I just wanted to say I kind of know what you mean x

Thanks. This sounds familiar, as I think the eating issues were caused by and dependent on my other issues. When I treated the other issues, the eating issues also got better. I don’t think it’s black and white like many websites can say.

Indeed. Though being under the ED team has been helpful as they seem to have a lot of staff, and the physical effects mean she has to be monitored closely.