How long until I start feeling better?

[CrickityCrickets]

I was diagnosed with anorexia about 2 months ago. I am following the hospital meal plan (mostly, I find snacking difficult) but feel like I've swapped my own food rules for those of the hospital. I'm worried about weight gain still and dread growing out of my skinny clothes, which will happen soon as I am gaining weight. I don't feel as terrible as I did in the first few weeks after diagnosis but I still feel so shackled by this disorder and I can't see how I will ever be free of it. Ugh 😫

Can you get some basics in the next size up now and start wearing them? They will look and eek much more comfortable when they fit properly after you’ve gained a bit more so that might help you to feel a bit less terrified?

That's a good idea. Thanks 👍

Are you doing talking therapy as well?

Yes I'm seeing a therapist and a dietician.

Well done and keep going.
I have had an eating disorder- anorexia - for 25 years and it has ruined my life. I wish I’d had access to treatment earlier and then stuck with recovery harder and for longer. It is normal to find recovery very hard for a few months and find weight gain challenging - distraction, journal, use therapy, get bigger comfy clothes.
sending strength.

Thank you @RedPanda2022 I'm feeling better this week. It's all just a lot to deal with. I'm surprised at how the anorexia is so tenacious! I thought that if I decided to eat that would just be it, but I question every meal and snack.

I took a long time to recover from my first bout of anorexia - over a year before I started to feel less stressed about meals. But please just keep going - there does come a point where you break those feelings and things start to be easier

Thanks @Yuja . I feel like I've always tried to eat as little as possible. This hasn't been a problem until more recently when I seem to have become super controlled and then lost a shit ton of weight. It seems tricky to change the way I've always thought iyswim. Any tips for that?

@CrickityCricketsto be honest I still don’t eat large amounts, but over time I have made peace with what I NEED to eat in order to function healthily, work and make the most of my lovely children and be here for them. So I eat enough calories to maintain my health over 2-3 meals a day. I still don’t snack and I am not comfortable with treats etc but I do know what foods and how much I need to eat not to be malnourished. Don’t expect too much of yourself - if you are eating more than you were then you’re doing well. Perhaps you won’t be free fully of some disordered eating, but over time you will not have an eating disorder any more which is the first step! Keep following your plan - it’s what you need - and don’t expect to be comfortable eating tons yet

@CrickityCricketsalso if you would like real life support then pm me by all means - I am going to presume you are an adult, and there’s less support available for those of us who suffer beyond the teen years.

@Yuja Thanks, I will pm you!

It can take a long time and in a way this helped me.
When I felt/feel like I'm slipping I think about how long it would take and hard it will be to get back to where I am.
I also know that it doesn't work as a coping mechanism - not in the long term. I guess that wisdom only kicks in after you've been in recovery for a while.

I got to a stage where the ED team said I could live as I was for ever - deeply unhappy and in the throws of the ED mindset and behaviours, but physically OK (well, nothing that needed immediate medical intervention). I'd had all the therapy/support, had truck loads of self awareness - putting it into practice was down to me. It was hard to hear.

I hope I haven't said anything that makes you feel worse, I'm just trying to be honest.

I wish you all the best.