Please help me to not binge tonight

[poppetandmog]

I’m a recovering bullimic. Haven’t binged and purged in a long time but my husband is away this weekend and despite having just eaten with my son, I’m so tempted to have a binge when he’s in bed. I hate myself for even thinking like this but the urge is overwhelming today because I have the opportunity to do it without anyone knowing. Just looking for some support please. I know I’ll feel awful after it so why do I still want to do it?

Maybe you feel that in the short term it will feel good, but also knowing you'll feel bad afterwards is a suitable punishment.

Get lots of drinks ready; mint tea in travel mugs if you like it, bottles of water, enjoy a lovely cold glass of coke with ice if that's something you like. Keep drinking and when you notice that feeling creeping up, or you're heading to the kitchen take 3 breaths. Don't worry about the in breath, just try for a long and calm out breath. Really feel the air leaving you and breath out as much as is comfortable. Do this 3 times, the in breaths will take care of themselves.

Brush your teeth and have an early night, it's OK to feel hungry at bed time. That's a normal and natural feeling that you can manage and deal with. You don't have to panic about eating, you've had a reasonable amount of food today and you will eat again at breakfast time. But, if you are genuinely hungry, have something to eat just avoid your trigger foods.

Good luck

You are so kind and I really appreciate this

This is great advice. OP, what about activities that distract and occupy you? Something that’ll really engage you and take your mind off of your thoughts and urges.

What do you binge on, assuming you'll eat it all can you destroy it instead?

Agree with brush teeth and have an early night if you can? Maybe a long bath with a movie on your phone?

You can do it.

Yes to an activity as well, do you have something to do with your hands?

Or maybe plan in some ... erm... personal time for when your child is asleep 😆

Could you change your routine in some way to get over the ‘danger zone’?
You mention son being in bed and dp away would give you opportunity.
could some aspects of this be changed?
Depending on son’s temperament and age maybe take him out on a mini adventure and delay bed by 1-2 hours?
cinema? Park?
could you arrange to be with another adult could someone pop over for an hour or two or could you visit someone with your son? Don’t have to tell them exactly why if that is too difficult.
would alcohol be a bad idea - for me one drink or two small ones would replace the urge to eat but it works the opposite way for other people.
great suggestion of selection of soft/hot drinks above. Maybe go out with son to buy them?
Good luck op x

I get it but don’t do it ad tempting as it is. It will make you feel awful later and is not worth it. Like the previous poster has suggested, just brush your teeth, hopefully this will make you take your mid off of it. Do you have Netflix, Prime or Disney? Could you start a new series or watch something that you love or maybe haven’t watched yet? Thinking of you xx

Activity ideas: buy a new kindle book (put the app on your tablet or phone if don’t have it already)
start a new drama series I like ITVX
do some ironing (I find it soothing)
fill the house with nice smells such as candles or bath bomb etc

You are all so lovely, I was expecting horrible comments. I was planning to order in takeaway (on the credit card so my husband wouldn’t see it coming out the joint account - I know I am in dangerous territory when I’m planning like this.) I’m not going to. Just put my son down and I am going to spend some time pampering myself, do a face pack etc and then have an early night and watch some tv in bed. I’m not even hungry and I know I would just feel utterly shit about myself if I made myself sick. It is rare I have the temptation these days but it’s been a particularly stressful week, which is a trigger, along with being here on my own.

You are a warrior, an absolute warrior. A stranger over the internet thinks you are blooming marvellous for not giving in. Well done

You are honestly too kind, I absolutely don’t feel like a warrior, I feel like a bit of a failure for even thinking this way. But I’ve just had a lovely bowl of strawberries and will be brushing my teeth and calling it a night there. I have spent years working on this, why is it so fucking hard

Well done @poppetandmog you are so so strong. Think how pleased and relieved you will feel in the morning that you resisted the urge.
Not sure if it will be helpful for you to try in the future, but I find mindful colouring really good for distracting me from binges.
Take care xx