Support thread 14 for parents of young people with an eating disorder

[Curlyhairedassasin]

New thread as old one is filling up

Just to say I'm thinking of you @SendTheNextOneIn It's great that your DD wants to be admitted and wants to get better. I really hope it's helpful for her and that she (and you) get the support needed.
We're plodding on but it's a very tough illness that I'm finding utterly exhausting.
Sending you all the strength for the week ahead

What @Itsendless says.
I have no experience of T4, but we have experienced hospital. I really felt so lonely and wanted to talk to people, remember we’re here if you want to talk.

Thinking of you @SendTheNextOneIn I hope it all goes ok. I have no experience of in patient care and I hope your dd settles and responds to treatment.

Sending strength to everyone.

Thinking of you today @SendTheNextOneIn

I really hope tomorrow is the first step to the rest of your lives.

Sending love and strength to everyone on here.

@SendTheNextOneIn thinking of you. Leaving my daughter at the hospital was the hardest thing I’ve done. Stay strong. This is a dreadful disease and sometimes a period in hospital is necessary. Try to take some rest. You’ll need it when she comes home.

We had some home leave today as she’s still not been discharged from the general hospital, and while she’s been ok with her meal plan while we’ve been on the ward, she immediately refused to follow it when we got home this morning. So I know we’re doing the right thing. Tomorrow is going to suck though. Thanks for all your kind words.

We’ve just spent two hours with her at the unit and DH and I have just left. Leaving her there is the hardest thing I’ve done in my life.

@SendTheNextOneIn I’ve been thinking of you all today. This is hopefully your dd’s first steps to recovery. Sending love

@SendTheNextOneIn we’re here. I’m a talker and when we were in hospital I wanted to talk. Please do if you need to.
this is the first day of the rest of your lives xx

thinking of you all @SendTheNextOneIn. Ultimately, it is the best move and gives her a greater chance of a quicker recovery. DD has been ill for three years, several admissions to a paed ward (my local area will only refer to T4 after 6-8 week of inpatient treatment in a paeds ward without improvement). DD managed to get discharged every time within this timeframe. Then we are ok for a while and the the whole things starts again. It's like an endless loop ☹️. Hopefully, getting the right and intense treatment early on will help your DD to overcome this horrible illness a lot quicker even though it's hard now. I hope you find some time to recharge your batteries now that you don't have to be in charge of the daily eating battles.

Is she very far from home? Can you see her regularly?

She’s about half an hour away, 45 mins in bad traffic, so not too far. We can visit up to three times a week I think.

Does anyone have experience of an outreach team coming to the house to support your child? It's been suggested for my daughter and we have a call later today about it. I just wondered what to expect and if people had found it helpful. Any insight would be appreciated

@Itsendlessyes - we had the Intensive Outreach Team in the early days. It actually helped us a lot with portion sizes. It was a lot though - 4 sessions a week either at home or in the hospital.

@SendTheNextOneIn sending love and hope

Thanks all, you’re so kind. I’ve been to see DD this evening. She’s ok, just homesick more than anything else. She’s managed her meal plan today. The hardest thing for her is that she is expected to have milk to drink a couple of times a day with afternoon and evening snack, and she hates drinking milk. It makes her feel sick. She did used to drink milkshakes etc before the ED so I’m not sure if this isn’t a bit psychological in origin but the dietician has basically said that a bit further down the line she might be able to have a yoghurt instead of the milk, but for now she needs to drink it as it’s important for fluids as well as the nutrition.
She’s also very introverted, so she’s not really been able to connect with the other young people currently on the ward. I’ve told her that it’s probably to be expected, friendships will (hopefully) come in time but depending on everyone’s mental health situation, I can imagine all residents probably find it difficult to make friends initially. She told me she’s managed to chat a bit with one other girl who’s only been there a week or so, so hopefully they’ll get to know each other more as they both settle in.

Your dd sounds very brave. It’s a big thing to be in patient alone, especially at such a young age. Bless her.

@SendTheNextOneIn Fantastic news that your DD managed her meal plan. I would also echo what @Mummyoflittledragon says about her being brave to agree to go. As an aside, my DD also struggled with milk and I did read that a lot of anorexics do develop a mild lactose intolerance to do with the malnutrition. Unfortunately you do need to just push on through, and it does go away again - although my DD does still prefer plant milk on cereal, she can stomach cow's milk again in tea and coffee. Hang on in there.

Hello, I’m new here. Currently wide awake at 4am with my daughter in hospital. Her heart rate is very low (35) and BP is something like 80/50 ish. I’m not sure what her blood tests were. And her temperature was down to something like 35.5.

She’s 11. And just won’t eat. She needs so much coercion to eat anything - yesterday she ate a small cereal bar, a strawberry, an egg and a banana.

I’m so worried about her. And worried about my son. And how I’m going to juggle everything (I have my own business and it’s really difficult to cancel work).

CAHMS are apparently visiting in the morning and I’m really hoping that helps.

Sorry to hear about the hospital admission @HappyRainbow123 but it sounds like she's where she needs to be. There are lots of people on this thread with experience of hospital admission who will be along shortly, I'm sure. I'm pleased you made it over to this thread, it's a really helpful and supportive bunch.
I know you were due your initial appointment with CAMHS ED next week but it sounds like that's been brought forward to today.
Your DD is very ill and needs to be the priority over work at the moment but it's very difficult when self employed. People will understand why you've had to cancel though! Your daughter is where she needs to be right now, it's not forever and she will get better but it takes time. Sending strength, it's incredibly hard but we're all here with you. x

Hello @HappyRainbow123 we are sorry you find yourself here. It sounds like you are definitely in the right place in hospital. Did you take yourself there or get referred? I hope you get the help you need. Your daughter sounds very poorly. Has she been not eating for a while? We’re here to help. I think you will be admitted for refeeding. We totally get the feeling of doom and worry how you will organise your life. Keep talking, we’re here xx

CAHMS phoned my husband yesterday, concerned about the low heart rate (the Gp had sent through her ECG) and told us to go to A and E if it dropped below 40. After school it was 37, so we took her in.

@HappyRainbow123 well done for taking her. you are definitely in the best place. Have you been admitted?

Thank you. Luckily my husband’s work is understanding, so hopefully he can take some time off too.

Yep, admitted last night. But literally nothing happening - just observations. Hopefully someone will come and visit us soon.

It’s the weekend so things will be slow.
Have they made her have breakfast?
One minute at a time. The medical team will be looking at different things to the ED team. The ED team usually work Mon-Fri 9-5 so it may be that not a lot happens with them ubtil Monday.