Will I make potential ED worse by taking DD (16) to GP?

[cloughie100]

I'm worried about taking DD(16) to GP about her eating. I'm worried it will make her more anxious thinking she has a problem and then that will also affect her eating. I am also worried that the GP won't really be able to do much apart from refer us to a service with a waiting list and that will also make her anxious. She has anxiety and hasn't had period for over a year. Previously been to see GP about anxiety and has seen therapist off and on. Her anxiety now seems to be around food and has definitely lost weight since last GP appointment 3 months ago and gets very tired. She sometimes gets very anxious/disregulated and then says she can't eat as in she doesn't know how to eat. She finds it difficult to express exactly what is going on when she feels like that. I don't know how to make her eat more. What is the GP likely to do?

How will you get help for her potential ed without telling the dr though?

Depending on the area you are in, you can self refer to ED services. It's worth googling to see what's near you, OP. But it's also worth seeing either your GP about the anxiety (is your DD medicated?) or getting her back into regular therapy sessions, first, since anxiety really can take a toll on your eating and so it could be seperate from an ED. What is it specifically about food that makes her anxious? Food Aversion and OCD: Your Guide to Healing. - OCD Place - does this sound like it could be similar to your DD?

It’s tricky.
not all doctors are good at handling this issue. Do you have experience with this particular GP? Have you tentatively addressed the topic before?

I have very occasionally messaged one of my daughter’s doctors ahead of time so that I could speak plainly without dd overhearing. If I ask her to step out of the room, her anxiety shoot’s up and the entire appointment is ruined. I keep the message simple and to the point.

Something like I will be bringing dd in to discuss eating and anxiety. I am worried if we don’t handle this well we will make the situation worse. The major issue we will be addressing is …

no more than 5 sentences and fewer if you can get your point across.

Thanks - I don't know exactly what makes her anxious about food or why she suddenly feels like she doesn't know how to eat. She does get anxious about food being healthy and definitely won't eat food that she thinks might be contaminated or in an unclean space, she won't go anywhere with less than 5 star food hygiene rating! Writing my initial post has just made me realise that I definitely need to take her to the GP to see where we can be referred and also start up the private therapy again. We are lucky to have some private health cover so will check in the morning whether it covers help for ED

Ponderingwindow - that's what i am worried about, making it worse but on reflection, I think we need to see the GP rather than wait and think it will get better by itself. We have seen the doctor before around the anxiety and lack of periods and he suggested it wouldnt be a bad thing if she put on some weight... but didnt seem worried. I feel like we're in much worse position now.

It sounds like ARFID.
I Paid for a private specialist for my then teen Grandson who developed this during and after Covid.
( he does have Aspergers too). But now he eats almost everything.. he's 20 now.. took a good year to get him there.
Not sure how long NHS waiting list is.. but hoping you do get her tye help she deserves. It's awful seeing someone you love go through this Mental health eating problem.

She sounds very similar to my DD, who has OCD. Mention that to the GP and see what they think- CBT really helped my DD and there are medication options too.

Sounds very similar to teen dd.

I told her I was worried about her eating and thought we needed to see GP after sudden weight loss linked to anxiety and ED.

She didn't want to. So we agreed a meal plan and that if she continued to lose weight she would have to see GP or school nurse. She REALLY didn't want to see school nurse - not sure why and tbh it would have been a bad idea as some of her issues stemmed from PSHE days designed with school nurse.

She tried really hard, but continued to lose, just much more slowly so we went to GP who was really good with her and referred to CAHMS who saw her really quickly.

Please get help for her. GP or self refer. Make sure she is referred.
Her low weight will be exacerbating her anxiety. Being at a low weight depletes the brain and alters thinking.
No period for a year is a clear sign she has been underweight for a while.
Her increasing levels of rules around what she will eat are also likely symptoms of an ED. As is 'forgetting'how to eat. It's all a way for the ED to make sure she eats too little .
Going to the GP or self referring always feels like it is making it worse.
Sadly with an ED it's impossible to tackle it without seeming to make things worse.
You aren't making it worse. You are calling out the ED, which will kick and scream against getting help.
You could join the support thread on this talk topic too, full of help and guidance for anyone at an early stage.
You are totally doing the right thing.

As your dd is now 16, she has to give permission for you to talk about her or make any referrals to the ED clinic. The quicker you get her some help, the faster she will start to recover. You can’t make things worse by tackling this. The trick is to not show fear to the ED but also not to go on the attack either. Just lots and lots of unconditional love. It’s very hard to do that and you will also need support. This will be a family based approach to get things back on track. If you get private support, you should ensure it is a professional eating disorder coach and / or dietitian. And as you’ve been advised by Namechange, consider joining the support thread. Lots and lots of advice and references to external support for carers on there. As your dd is eating less than she should, her hormones are out of whack and her brain isn’t being properly fed and this needs to be addressed as soon as you can.

Thank you for all your advice We went to see GP day, I always have to go as DD won't really speak to GP without me. She admitted that she wants to eat more so that is progress. They weighed her and she had lost at least 5 kilos in less than 3 months and is 16.5 BMI ( that's the measure that the GP used) - he has agreed to refer to ED team but will also give us general referral which we can hopefully use to get some treatment using private health cover. GP didnt seem very well informed on these matters but wanted to help and we got an appointment really quickly so need to be thankful for that.

The bmi calculator is generally for over 18s. But it gives an idea and that’s quite low. It appears as though your dd’s weight loss has been relatively slow. The body can accommodate this far easier.

You should go on the support thread. Wanting to eat and actually being able to eat are different things. It may well be that your dd eats more off the back of the appointment. But do be aware that she won’t necessarily be able to do so.

I would start doing my own research into family based treatment. FBT. It’s the basis for treating all eating disorders. New Maudsley Clinic, Charlie Waller trust, Eva Musby, BEATS.