Does it count as a relapse?

[theallotmentqueen]

TW: anorexia (I know this is on the eating disorders forum, but just in case)

Hi, asking because I'm genuinely unsure.

I had anorexia when I was about 16, but I managed to successfully recover without issues when I was 18. I'm now suffering from quite severe OCD. Having OCD has given me really awful anxiety and depression, and I often find it really difficult to eat - not on purpose, but because I'm genuinely not hungry and the thought of food repulses me. This has been going on for about 2 years.

I'm asking because if this does constitute an eating disorder, I have no idea what to do about it. I knew what to do to recover from anorexia - simply eat (I was starving hungry all the time). I don't know how to recover from simply not being hungry/not having the energy to eat. If I try to force myself to eat, I throw up (again not on purpose, my body just can't handle the food). I suppose I'm also asking because I plan on having children in the future, obviously only once I recover from OCD (hence me being on mumsnet - I want to learn about what it's like to be a mum) and don't want to pass whatever this anxiety response is onto them through them watching and learning from me. So I guess to sum up my questions are:

1. Is this a mental as well as a physical disorder?
2. If so, how the hell do I recover from it?
3. Any methods to prevent relapse, so my kids don't have to witness this?

Thank you for taking the time to read, hope you have a good day x

Hi. I'm really sorry, I'm dashing out so I can't go into huge detail but I think much more important than how you label what's happening is what it's doing to your life and how you deal with it. Eating disorders are considered in some quarters as a type of OCD or the same type of illness at least, a disorder of compulsion.
Does your GP/psychiatrist know anything about this? I think whatever happens you pretty urgently need to talk to a doctor about the vomiting/regurgitation problem. That's never a good sign and overall, even if it's not a hint of a different problem, it's going to stop you regaining health and weight. Appetite loss can also be a concern. Not wanting to worry you, but you do need to rule out these being symptoms of something more sinister.
As I'm sure you know, starvation and malnutrition can aggravate/worsen the mental symptoms of EDs as well as having physical effects. Overall, I think you're taking the correct attitude, except possibly that given your stated goals it might be a good reframing to focus on your end goal - good health, fertility and whether or not you have relapsed or are going that way, kicking your eating disorder back out as far as possible.
Take care and good luck x

This is such a lovely, kind response. Thank you, I really appreciate it. It’s really interesting that you say OCD and eating disorders are linked- now that you say it, I can see a link between the compulsive element in both. Thank you!