15 year old daughter with eating disorder

[3daughters37]

I’m not really sure what I’m expecting here but hoping for any advice or direction that might help my daughter as I literally have no idea how to help any more. My daughter is 15 and has had help from beats for around 6 months they discharged as said they had offered her the highest help they had. We have the. Gone to CAHMS for anxiety etc and they are referring back to the eating disorder team. The first round did absolutely nothing to help and I’m not saying they didn’t try it’s just wasn’t helpful to my daughter. As far as I can tell she is at the point that she wants to be so bad she is hospitalised as anything less is not reaching her goal. She doesn’t take any notice of the harm she is doing to her body. I’m at a loss I’ve tried the tough love I’ve tried being empathetic, I’ve tried doing it her way all the time and I’m now at breaking point of how to help. I feel like there is very limited help out there. I also have 2 other younger girls, youngest being severely autistic. I am constantly feeling guilty for not being able to do enough to help my eldest but also for limiting what I can do for my other 2 although I know they need me just as much. Can anyone suggest any parent groups, forums, family support / groups that maybe we could attend together to get help or any other support that i as a parent can get or other help that my daughter can. I literally feel that if something does not turn around soonish she is going to end up doing irreversable damage to herself.

I am so sorry that your daughter is suffering from an eating disorder, and from other disorders that often accompany an eating disorder, it is so hard on the family too.

In my experience the person suffering has to want to change in order to get better. This can happen when they are no longer able to do things they enjoy through being too ill and have enough of the restrictions the illness places on their life. Being under the care of the CAMHS team is very important as they will monitor her health and provide a fast track route to hospitalisation if necessary, so in your position I would definitely push for that.

What I have learnt about eating disorders is that what works for one person often doesn’t work for another, and you may need to try many different things to help your daughter. In the end, though, it may just be a matter of waiting and hoping she will want to break free from the illness. Regular monitoring of her health is important, and the support of an eating disorder team for the family as well as the patient (even if they don’t want it), can be invaluable.

I hope that what I have written helps a little bit, I understand what you are going through and wish you and your daughter all the very best.

Thank you for the reply, my frustration with it seems that she has the eating disorder and anxiety/ socialisation issues and unfortunately it seems she can’t be treated for both at the same time but both are affecting each other if that makes sense. At the moment she is in a place where she wants all the support in place so that her condition is recognised but actually doesn’t want to follow the help and advise as to her she is not the worst she can be it’s so frustrating and I feel at the mome tall I’m doing is watching her fade away and worried that one day it will be to late.