Desperate to join Overeaters Anonymous but too scared to join a meeting and show face. Advice needed

[chocolaterevels]

Hi, I've been looking at Overeaters Anonymous and it really resonates. I've tried lots of other things which haven't worked for me. This is really my only option now. However, I'm at such a low point, and so depressed/anxious, that I'm too shy to join an online meeting. Has anyone experienced a person join with camera off and not speak? I can see why that might not be appropriate for others, but I can't handle joining otherwise. Also, there don't seem to be many online meetings in the UK?

I can’t say I know much about this but I would expect that joining a meeting without participating would prove acceptable, at least to begin with.
I would ask what you hope to gain from the meetings though. Are you planning on ever joining in and sharing your stories? The point of them (I thinks) is that everyone there has similar struggles to you and should understand where you’re coming from?? Like I said, I don’t know how they work but will you reap the benefits if you never join in?

I agree with what you're saying. I felt listening to others strategies and suggestions might be helpful, but maybe I should just get a hold of their literature and read that until I feel better.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t try it but perhaps try and be a bit more open to the possibility of joining in more as you feel more comfortable. Hopefully as you get what others have to say you’ll feel encouraged to speak out even just a little bit. I’m sure people go to real meetings and just sit and listen so I don’t see why the online thing should be different.

Makes sense. I'm not sure if with this it might be inappropriate to sit and listen only.

Can you contact them and ask?

Check out the BEAT website. They have online chat rooms in which you can participate as much or as little as you want to the conversation. Tuesdays group is for any eating disorder and Fridays is for binge eating disorder.

www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/get-help-for-myself/i-need-support-now/online-support-groups/

I don't know about OA specifically but the problem with cameras off is that additional people could be watching/listening without the participants knowing they're there, creating both a confidentiality risk and an environment where it's more difficult for people to feel comfortable to open up. The NHS service I worked for didn't allow cameras off during group therapy for this reason. Would you feel ok to keep the camera on but sit quietly until you felt more confident?

Thank you, I'll definitely do this.