Is this an issue?

[Ayearover]

I used to be obese, 15 years ago.

I lost weight, became obsessed with exercise and healthy eating.

I've never been underweight but I've always wanted/tried to lose 'one more stone'.

I can't relax around food, I have so many rules, I feel gaining weight would be the worst thing in the world.

Recently I've thrown my scales away and stopped calorie counting, just tried to enjoy food and relax my rules.

I've definitely put on a couple of pounds, as clothes are a little tighter.

This has completely freaked me out and now all my rules are back, plus more. I'm doubling my steps and restricting food, weighing everything.

I'm not allowed milk in coffee. Or to eat after 5pm, or before 1pm. Not allowed carbs, or more than 100g of anything, I Googled if there are calories in a vitamin c tablet.

Why has it suddenly gripped me like this? I know I'm not overweight, (I feel it, but I'm not) and I'm a functioning adult!

Any advice to snap out of it?

This sounds like a type of addiction. I don’t think it is possible to just snap out of things. A lot of work is going to be required. Maybe there are some websites of you tubes to google. When I was looking for private therapy for my dd with and ED, I contacted these people. Ultimately they weren’t right for dd, who needs more specialised care. But it may be ok for you. https://www.addictiontreatmentrehab.co.uk

Thank you for your kind post. What kind of addiction do you think it is?

I hope your DD is doing well.

These people treat eating disorders like a type of addiction whether it’s restricting foods or overeating. You have lots of rules, which is common with ED. The reason why I recommended them is because they have a number of locations to work with and are cheaper than Orri or the Priory.

I think it’s really urgent that you engage with someone. Idk if you can afford private therapy at all and you should also talk to your GP. Even if you’re not underweight, they may be able to refer you to your local CAHMS ED team.

Oh and my dd is doing a bit better. She’s still really mentally ill but we starting to find cracks in the ED.

That's really positive - so perhaps all I'm doing is making sure im not obese again, and this way works for me?

I did buy more scales and weighed myself, luckily I hadn't gained weight.

I will now be losing another stone though as I'm still not remotely happy or confident with my weight, so I've been extra good this week with less food & more exercise. I've tightened up a few more rules.

I'm reassured I don't need to worry, as you say, not everything is a medical issue, thank you, I was being daft.

If you only eat between 1pm - 5pm, it sounds like you're missing a lot of meals.
What's your bpi?

You've leapt on the one response that normalised this behaviour and completely ignored the others.

You know this is not healthy otherwise you wouldn't post!

Healthy you threw away the scales and now you've bought more?!

@Normalnot What kind of sick vampire are you that you hang around in an ED forum giving such terrible advice when it’s clear as day that the OP is on a dangerous path.

Sorry OP but I don't think this is normal or healthy at all.
You're only eating between the hours of 1pm and 5pm, you're only eating 100g of anything and you've thrown away scales and bought more. You're heading into an eating disorder if you don't already have one, my dd was the same and it's taken 2 years of work with the camhs ED team for her to recover and I still don't have scales in the house.
Please speak to your GP

Jesus Christ. Either you are an idiot or you have an eating disorder yourself and you’re kidding yourself about what is normal. I hope for your sake you’re an idiot.

What you say is certainly true in a general way, but googling the calories of Vitamin C sounds obsessive, and as though the OP is controlled by an obsession.

It is possibly addiction-like because of how the over worrying has not only come back but come back double.

Is there anything else upsetting in your life at the moment, OP? Maybe you are blocking it out this way (and with food before).

Well firstly, it came up on most recent, I’ve never been on the Eating Disorders section in my life. I don’t check exactly what area they are posted in.

Secondly, chill the hell out. It’s a public forum and it’s my opinion. I’m not a doctor and never stated I was!

How rude are you! Go and get yourself some manners….

I get the impression you’re being disingenuous with your reply….

I didn’t realise this was an eating disorder thread. I just click on most recent.

My point was a lot of people struggle with their weight (in general terms) Clearly people have jumped on me saying how dare I say that etc, which is fair enough in the sense I should have realised it was the ED board. It does sound like your behaviour is to the extreme and the fact you posted it in ED board - so perhaps you should take notice of the other posters who have more experience and knowledge.

I’ve just seen your recent message to OP so I will apologise for my message to you. I understand sometimes threads come up in ‘active’ and you could have responded without realising the context that the OP almost certainly has an ED. Im sorry I was rude.

Thank you I appreciate that. I genuinely didn’t realise so I’ll be more aware next time.

I agree. I’ve asked for my first reply to be deleted as I wouldn’t have written it had I realised. Thank you for your understanding.

I don’t know if you still come back to this thread but I am in a similar situation and posted yesterday. I don’t want to regain it back so I have rules too. I have been fixated on reaching a certain weight and staying there and it’s not realistic as I fluctuate and get stressed. I am going to stop trying to lose weight now though to try to address the anxiety around it. I find it hard to relate to myself now as I was very obese for so long. It’s hard to see yourself objectively. I could lose more without being underweight but I don’t think it is good for my mental health to keep trying. My husband asked me why the weight I had chosen was so important to me and why I wanted it so much. I had a goal in my head when I reached it I then kept changing it making it lower and lower but it is sucking all my energy up. I just have not liked the way I look for so long and more weight loss will not change that I might still be unhappy, I asked for his opinion and he said I don’t need to lose more weight and I need to see myself as healthy rather than a certain size and I know deep down he is right. Can you ask anyone around you for support?

I think I needed to prove to myself I can do it. That’s not really the best reason. We are not failures if we are healthy weights and you have kept it off for a long time. I am going to try to focus on finding new goals that are not related to my weight and try to throw myself into them if I can

I don’t know what the answer is but I don’t think it’s normal or good for you I just understand exactly how you feel