Same here, OP, 3 years of experience. She is recovering from an ED that has previously hospitalised her.
If I am cooking an evening meal I make sure it can be self served in any portion size each person chooses (e.g I don’t pre slice a quiche or cake). If it is something like risotto I leave it in the pan for each person to take as much as they like. I offer low calorie foods (veg / salad) alongside calorie dense.
I never comment at all.
Ask Ds what to get in for breakfast, and leave them to it.
I never ask questions about how she is doing, I’m not her Mum, I have no business asking Ds to talk to me about her private medical state.
I do listen empathetically to Ds, and I have asked him if it is a worry or pressure on him. He answered truthfully and perceptively And in a way that made me very proud of him.
Actually, the gist of it is that she seems to be doing really well, managed to reinvent herself at Uni and only relapses (is that the right word) during very high pressure times e.g exams.
She seems to eat fairly normally at our house.
She is a wonderful young woman, I compliment her new hair colour, or whatever, in passing but never ever anything body-based.
The rest of us eat normally and in a relaxed way, we don’t go on about “oooh, I shouldn’t eat this” or “hollow legs” or any other eating chatter as part of family life anyway.