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Eating disorders

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Can we ask not to be weighed?

7 replies

sunglasses · 12/04/2024 16:24

My DD almost 17 has been in recovery from AN since Oct/Nov 2023. She has gained around 6-7 KGs and last time her weight was 53.5 KGs and her height is 174 cm. She is for the most part bright and happy. Eats a range of foods- will happily eat burger and chips, pizza etc and even recently had a sleepover where she ate freely including pudding and sweets. She has never ‘refused to eat’ ‘thrown food’ had ‘angry tantrums’ etc- all the things typical with AN. She is making really good progress but is feeling really disheartened that she has to be weighed every week at the clinic and has to eat ‘The eating plan’ until her clinician determines that she is the correct weight. I have sympathy to be honest and would like to request that maybe she isn’t weighed for a while but judged more on her state of mind and sense of how she is doing with her eating. I am obviously keen that she eats plenty and by doing so will continue to gain weight if necessary to her development but she is really getting more anxious that a stranger has a target weight in mind and she had to reach it at all costs. I would have felt exactly the same at her age. I was a slim teen ( no eating disorder) and have remained slim into adulthood eating whatever I want. Is it possible to recover without being weighed? She is within the normal range of weight for height at present albeit at the lower end.

OP posts:
Tr1skel1on · 12/04/2024 16:28

My DD was weighed but stood backwards on the scales and I looked away so neither of us could see the display, only the nurse.

Worth a try?

Tr1skel1on · 12/04/2024 16:31

My DD never reached the target weight before being discharged but was obviously stable happy and doing well

sunglasses · 12/04/2024 16:32

Tr1skel1on · 12/04/2024 16:28

My DD was weighed but stood backwards on the scales and I looked away so neither of us could see the display, only the nurse.

Worth a try?

we do this anyway but the nurse very dramatically shows me the result and then ‘ins’ and ‘ash’ about talking to her without being able to talk about weight. It’s v annoying! She is still aware of wether she has lost or gained and it feels Judgey to my DD. To my mind being hyper focused on weight is too similar to the actual Eating disorder!!

OP posts:
faffadoodledo · 12/04/2024 16:34

Difficult isn't it? I have a DD (a little older) currently in treatment and combining it with working. To an extent you have to trust the process. Presumably the process so far has helped your daughter.
However there is a compromise - my DD gets weighed, but asks not to know the results. She fears that seeing the weight creep up may disincentivise

sunglasses · 12/04/2024 16:35

Tr1skel1on · 12/04/2024 16:31

My DD never reached the target weight before being discharged but was obviously stable happy and doing well

On what basis was she discharged if you don’t mind me asking? My daughter is mostly ( not completely) doing really well but was told by the clinic recently she would be under their care until potentially September which has really rattled her and made her feel worse.

OP posts:
sunglasses · 12/04/2024 16:38

faffadoodledo · 12/04/2024 16:34

Difficult isn't it? I have a DD (a little older) currently in treatment and combining it with working. To an extent you have to trust the process. Presumably the process so far has helped your daughter.
However there is a compromise - my DD gets weighed, but asks not to know the results. She fears that seeing the weight creep up may disincentivise

It is really hard! I completely understood the weighing at first as she was underweight and not well. She is so much better now and wants to have more autonomy over her eating but is hyper conscious of it affecting her weight which will be monitored and judged for the next few months. It’s quite depressing for her.

OP posts:
CadyEastman · 28/04/2024 09:19

Could you talk to the Nurse without DD being there, maybe email her, and say how Dd is feeling and that she'd prefer not to know her weight and whether she's gained or lost first now?

Could you also ask to move to be weighed every other week too as she's doing so well?

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