eating disorder when pregnant

[Marzipan23]

hello,
Hoping someone here has some advice as I feel like i'm spiralling!
I have a long history of eat disorders, i'm 36 now, I had anorexia and bulimia as a teen/young adult and disordered tendencies have followed me into adult hood, I havent weighed myself since I was a young adult as I learnt I cant do this without triggering a bad spell of disordered eating.
I'm pregnant for the first time and really struggling to navigate this, I have been quite sick in the first trimester and I www finding it difficult to not make myself sick once i'd fallen into habit, I did make myself sick quite a few times in my first trimester, i'm now a few weeks into my second trimester and i'm managing to not purge food but i'm finding the changes to my body very difficult.
I am also struggling with seeing my weight and feel like i'm not being listened to. I asked for my weight to be left off any documentation I would see and this hasn't happened and it was treated like it was an odd request, I have now seen my weight 3 times written down despite a note in my file, I can see how my weight is increasing and its making me feel very unwell, i'm struggling to eat sensibly after seeing this. I have been told I have to be weighed or they cant check how the baby is progressing, I feel totally stuck. Does anyone have experience navigating this?

Can you ask your midwife for mental health support? I think they definitely need to listen to you and support you in managing this.

I've allegedly been referred to a mental health midwife but chased up a couple of times and heard nothing.
I just feel like I cant be the first woman to have gone through this and I feel like i'm being treated like the first person to ever raise this.

Sorry to hear that…maybe you can call them again and say that you’re really not coping with this pregnancy and you need to speak urgently to the mental health midwife. I wouldn’t even go into much detail if they’re not capable of understanding what the issue is. Once you manage to get seen by a mental health professional, they hopefully will provide the support you need. All the best 💐

Hopefully bump

It shouldn’t be an “odd request” to not have your weight on visible documents. ESPECIALLY with a long history of an eating disorder.

I had relapsed with my anorexia just before my first pregnancy and found being weighed profoundly difficult but at the time was being supported through it with the local eating disorder team.

I am currently pregnant with my second and I have simply refused to be weighed unless it’s on agreement. I gave a weight at my booking appointment because I had been asked to weigh myself in the main waiting area (absolutely not!) and have declined to be weighed since then except the once which was last week. To be honest, I’ve not often been asked.

My recommendation from a weighing perspective would be to do the same, or to ask the reason they need to weigh you. It sounds like asking for a backwards stand on the scale wouldn’t fix this as they seem to not understand your request to not see your weight.

They can’t really decline you, as you have to step on the scales. I found going in to an appointment with a pre practiced explanation as to why I didn’t want to be weighed helped me feel prepared and more confident.

Unless they are concerned about you being underweight, there are very few reasons (that I’m aware of) that would need to regularly weigh you throughout your pregnancy. They can measure your bump and that should tell them what they need to know - if they are worried about baby’s growth, then they can do growth scans.

this is so so helpful thank you! I'm not underweight, they were happy with my weight in my first appt and havent mentioned anything since so I know I am healthy (I did also ask the midwife to just not comment on my weight or BMI full stop as I find that triggering too but they still did...!)
I basically was guilt tripped into being weighed, as this is my first I didnt even know about growth scans, i've chatted with my husband and i'm going to refuse being weighed going forward.
thanks, I really needed that!

No problem! Unfortunately not all medical professionals have an understanding of eating disorders as it’s deemed a “very specialist area” but I hope you feel empowered to say no - particularly if they know of your history.

Good luck 😊