I genuinely live on chocolate. Please no judgements

[Nowanextraone]

OK I'm genuinely embarrassed to write this but I feel a 'confession' will hopefully be a pathway to recovery (if that's the right word)!!

I am addicted to chocolate. Cadbury's chocolate. I wish I was joking but I'm not .

I am about a stone overweight (I weigh 11 stone) at 5 foot 4 but my weight hasn't changed for years. Despite my chocolate intake, I stick to about 2000 calories a day.

But for my health, my diet is SHOCKING. My day is basically a 100g bar of cadbury's chocolate for breakfast, and another for lunch 😖 None of my family know I do this, it's like my dirty secret. I have done it for years (genuinely 7/8 years).
I don't eat anything normal or proper during the day.

Then for dinner, I eat a normal, healthy family (home cooked) dinner. Then in the evening, I might share a few squares of chocolate with my husband as a 'treat' (he has no idea about the rest of my day!).

What do I do? I have tried, but I'm honestly like a heroin addict trying to get to her next hit and it all goes wrong by lunch time and I'm back buying the chocolate.

I honestly don't know what to do. I am permanently tired. I'm also permanently hungry during the day. I feel very very unhealthy.

Help

Pa. Fab idea about protein. I've already made my cous cous lunch with roast veg and pesto. I will grab some cooked chicken breast on the way to put with it. I will make some normally but haven't got time this morning now

Wow!
Out of interest, do you get milk elsewhere?
I guzzled milk to help with pregnancy sickness. When the baby arrived I dropped the milk, I started guzzling milky chocolate.

I also think that some of this issue could have been as my parents were SO strict on my diet as a child (due to my diabetes, no blame attached).
As an adult I suddenly felt freedom and able to eat what I wanted and when

It really helps to make/plan the meals ahead of time. You need to make it as easy to eat as you can.

Also, you don’t need to be perfect, just better than yesterday or better than it could have been!

I have lost a lot of weight, and wrestle with binge eating. It’s not easy to reform food behaviours. But Even if you only have to do a little bit better, it’s still a win!

Me too. I eat chocolate cake and biscuits plus cheese. I maybe have a small potion of whatever meal I’m cooking for the family but not much, only about the amount I’d give to a six year old. I also drink a lot of red bull and Diet Coke.

im 50 and my diet has always been appalling. I’m slim though so I struggle to find the incentive to change it.

And it’s important you remember you can still eat what you want! It’s just that what you want has changed, what you want now is some fresh nutritious food!

Well done for admitting it to yourself. First step.

Find other foods you like. Experiment.

Changing to a small Freddo appeared to work well for you. So maybe try a healthy lunch with a freddo for pudding.

Don't look at a huge end goal. Set mini goals you can achieve like no chocolate until after breakfast etc. The more you hit a goal the more motivation you have to keep going.

Tell your husband. It's likely he knows more than you think. If he's a good one, he'll support you 100 %

Best of luck. My sister has an ED. I understand how major this is for you and I'm proud.

This was me for 20+ years, I think the pleasure hit of chocolate & utter laziness on my part made it far easier to grab chocolate/crisps than to make anything.

I now have a greek yoghurt bowl for breakfast/brunch which is 250g yoghurt, 14g peanut butter, 10g of chocolate chips and some Linwoods flaxseed mixed in. Top with a drizzle of chocolate sauce, jobs a good un :) Or protein pancakes with Greek yoghurt and fruit (choc sauce drizzle optional)

Lunch is simple, either gammon & eggs, scramble egg on toast or a cottage pie/spag bol etc (batch cooked so just need to throw it in the microwave.) A mini bar of the Green and Blacks and kefir yoghurt for afters and if I still crave chocolate in the afternoon a low calorie hot chocolate (Sainsbury's fair trade is lovely)

Wow you are a type 1 diabetic, surely that makes it quite dangerous to have the diet you do? I would speak to your gp for advice if I were you.

I feel really happy that you enjoyed your cous cous lunch OP!

Only if my blood sugars were poorly controlled, but amazingly I have excellent control. But I worry sick about my additional risk of heart problems etc and my awful diet will not be helping that.

Thank you so much, it was genuinely lovely 😄 Same again today, but with chicken too. And I have got my freddo ready.

If you want a healthy lunch and breakfast buddy I’m happy to chat.
I had beetroot and pink pickled onions today which was a bit random but but but…

I discovered the marinated onion tofu at Aldi. Not my usual thing at all but I was feeling experimental and know Tofu is good for me, hormone wise.

It was blooming lovely in a black pepper/onion monster munch kind of way. Totally unexpected. I thought I would have to ’do’ something to it to make it nice but no!

I hope you can continue to replace chocolate with protein, @Nowanextraone . So much more filling, and nutritious. Even better if you can learn to love vegetables. I found that going out of my comfort zone and eating unfamiliar vegetables, and preparing/cooking them in different ways, turned me into a veggie lover. There are so many interesting food prep videos on YouTube!

I also read The Sugar Solution, which I found both informative and inspiring. And I binge watched Becky Gillaspy - at least one a day to keep me on the straight and narrow.

https://www.wob.com/en-gb/books/dr-mark-hyman/blood-sugar-solution/9780316127370

Hi, I just wanted to give an update.

I have totally quit my lunch time family sized bar of chocolate and changed it for a healthy lunch and a freddo

The breakfast chocolate is still going strong though

But that’s a massive success. It’s absolutely fine to celebrate that and build on it when you are ready.

At that point I’d ask myself what the obstacle is- or the benefit of chocolate. Is it eating on the run, feeling needy in the morning, what in particular makes it seem harder to switch?

l like a chunk of cheese and a handful of nuts for breakfast at speed!

Thank you so much 😁 you're right, I should celebrate this success as thinking about it, I've reduced my chocolate intake by half!

I think chocolate has often been a regulatory thing for me and always seen as forbidden due to my T1 diabetic childhood and my mum who was obsessed with weight. When I first left home I was like a kid going into Willy Wonka's chocolate factory!

I think the morning is a real habit and an addiction. I don't feel settled until I've had it which sounds made I know

Not at all. I have similar experiences which I won’t describe as well just trigger each other! 😉

Let the new habit bed in. Mull on it a while and see whether you get any revelations about it.

Maybe a milky caffeine shot coffee with sugar free syrup will do the same job.

I value indulgence in self care. When you live with a built in sense of deprivation, you rely on little treats to help you feel centred. It’s all about perfecting the right treat for the need 😅😇

Could you wean yourself off slowly with chocolate infused replacements? Like chocolate powder in porrige or chocolate yoghurt or dipped fruit?

Wow that's an amazing achievement!

Well done 👏

What about a chocolate flavoured protein shake for breakfast?!!

OP if it's a habit and an addition I wonder if weaning off with something that contains the same things as your chocolate fix would help, e.g. cocoa, sugar and fat. So, maybe porridge with 85% dark chocolate melted into it, a small drizzle of honey and a big dollop of yoghurt or cream? Then a few nuts on top? You'd be eating 'real food' at least.

Just mean for the morning fix. Big well done for your success so far!

how are you doing op?

I was also a complete chocolate addict- unfortunately ate meals as well so have piled on weight and trying to tackle this. I have started treating it as the addiction it is- I will not have chocolate in the house, order shopping online and avoid chocolate if I have to go in to a shop. If I’m offered chocolate, I say I’ve just eaten or even that I’m intolerant to it.

Basically I have to treat it the same way an ex alcoholic treats alcohol. I cannot moderate. Completely cutting it out has been hard but I allow myself other sugary snacks and will be weaning off these soon too. I have made the decision that I will not ever eat chocolate again because I spiral every time- it’s just not worth it.