TW: eating disorder and purging
Sorry this is a long one. My DD is 14 and I have just discovered that she has hidden an eating disorder for the last 6 months. I’d noticed that recently her weight had dropped and that she was having a shower after dinner, chewing gum, looking glassy eyed etc. I followed her after dinner one night, I heard her vomiting and when she headed off to the shower the following day, I told her I knew. She isn’t bingeing. She eats “normally” but purges immediately after eating. She is slim but not underweight. She is quite obsessed about her bmi as she is on the higher end of healthy but she is a gymnast (trampolining) so is lean and muscular, which really skews this.
DD says she doesn’t want to be any thinner but is terrified of gaining weight and has been purging to prevent doing so. As purging has increased , she has found it hard not to lose weight.
I’ve spoken to the BEAT helpline and we now have restrictions in at home, such as being supervised for 2 hours after meals (she finds it hard to purge after that window)and showering before bed whilst someone waits outside to make sure she isn’t flushing the toilet. I’ve sorted a therapist, who she has her initial appointment with next week and her conditioning coach is putting me in touch with a nutritionist to support her.
I just can’t stop overthinking everything. I let her go up to her room as I was upstairs and I was so terrified that she would purge in something there. I have no sense of smell so wouldn’t be able to tell. I feel so panicked when she goes to the toilet (even hours after she has eaten) and can’t help but hover outside the door. We have wooden floorboards so I can’t even do this discreetly. There is no evidence to suggest that she is doing anything other than going to the toilet but I’m so scared of slipping up. I missed it for 6 months so I’m terrified that I might do again.
For anyone going through this, has been through it themselves or coming out the other side, what else can I do to support her and keep her safe?