Regular poster on MN but NC for this to avoid any potential connections with other posts.
My DC16 is about to start treatment with the CAMHS ED Team. We have an appointment this week to discuss FBT and whether this can work for us.
I want to help DC16. I am reading as much as I can. A lot of my waking hours atm are taken with educating myself about EDs and recovery and thinking about DC16 and their mental health and what they are eating / how to make sure they eat their next meal.
The thing I would like to focus on in this post, though, is their toddler sibling, age 2. This doesn't mean it's the only thing concerning me, just that this is what I need advice with right now. Please don't reply if it's to tell me I don't care about DC16 or must care more about my toddler.
Both my children are equally important. I want my DC16 to recover but will not cause detriment to their sibling in the process. I will not, for example, be able to supervise all meals and snacks. My toddler needs opportunity to go out, attend playgroups and playdates, go to cafes and restaurants etc. The 0-5 years are monumentally important for future wellbeing. I am not prepared to disregard that fact. Everything I read tells me that the whole family can be impacted by EDs. Mealtimes can become stressful and siblings can experience anxiety and distress. I have found info online about how to talk to very young children about EDs but I don't think this is ok. My toddler shouldn't have to confront this at such a young age. Apparently, siblings are often "part of the recovery process" in FBT. My toddler is a person in their own right, not part of their sibling's recovery process. I would be so grateful to hear from other families who have navigated, or are navigating, having a young person with an ED in the same household as a toddler. How have you protected your toddler whilst also supporting your older child? Young children's minds are learning all the time from what they see around them and I cannot have my toddler's development impacted by what is happening for their sibling. Please don't take any of this to mean that I don't care for my DC16. I care very much and desperately want to help them recover, just not at the expense of their sibling's wellbeing and normal development. Any advice will be v welcome.